bookmark_border05/23/26 – Astrology, Personal Shit & Memes

Text 1: When you’ve been working on your mind and spirit for so long and now the Universe tells you it’s time to work on your physical body

Text 2: Don’t make me run! I’m full of chocolate!

I’ve had this image saved on my phone FOREVER; it’s an alien skull carved in dark Smoky Quartz. The eyes are Labradorite. So cool and mesmerizing, I feel like it’s one of my guides…

It’s really weird when astrologers keep on saying that Sagittarius likes to travel. I don’t like to travel physically but emotionally, mentally & spiritually? Yes.

Text 1: Me looking at the current astrology to confirm my mood swings.

Text 2: Omg I knew it

Text 3: Look at this mess

I am still downloading & organizing my photos from iCloud to Flickr and found old pics of Miri my second cat.

I woke up this morning feeling extremely tired and stressed out about the current state of the world, particularly in the lovely USA. So much that I had to let it out, meaning I had to cry in front of my husband. He knows I NEVER cry as it’s usually the other way around (he’s a double water sign). I literally couldn’t stop the tears flowing – I am SO tired of paying bills when everything is getting more expensive while the orange man gets away with so fucking much. I just got a pay increase recently but now it’s going to the utilities bill and gas for the cars.

I don’t want to repeat all the negative shit going on in politics & economics so I’ll just leave it at that. This is supposed to be my therapy right now.

So yeah, I cried. But not to worry, I am okay. I actually needed that, and I feel better now actually.

If you ever have really strong feelings or emotions that you’ve been bottling up and have been holding inside – it’s better to just let it out whether it’s through writing or crying which is what I did. Just don’t take it out on someone else.

I probably mentioned that I have a lot of Saturn in my long term influences lately; I really think that’s why I’m feeling this way – Saturn opposition natal Moon and Saturn trine natal Sun. Aargh.

I know at the end of the day, I am still blessed. I wake up with a roof over my head, I still have a job and I’m not sick or injured. But I had to get it out at that very moment, as Saturn was pressing on me.

Here is an old card pull from 2019 – IX of Pentacles – self-mastery, attainment, gains. Desire for financial security. Money. Success. Material comfort. Leisure time. Fruitfulness. Cultivation. Self-worth. Well-being. Pleasure. Refinement. Prosperity as a result of past efforts. Solitary affluence. Well-deserved success. (Source: Tarot Plain and Simple by Anthony Louis)

Here is the 9 of Pentacles from the Albano Waite version, along with some other cards pulled from the same deck as well as cards pulled from Sacred Symbols Oracle deck. Surrounded by a Quartz crystal grid with a Selenite on top. I tend to pull the same cards over and over, even though this was from 2019. Even ChatGPT, Grok and Gemini would pull the same cards for me when I had questions. When learning tarot, pay attention to the same cards coming up over and over again – that means something that you should probably pay attention to.

Tuesday May 26, 2026 – we have absolutely nothing to complain about, as we live in the United States. There are unspeakable horrors, corruption and genocide that is happening in other countries.

bookmark_borderThere is No Creativity without Discomfort

Street signage that I would see on my way to work, recreated in Photoshop

From Mystic Medusa’s daily horoscope
The back design of tarot and oracle card decks I own are just as beautiful
I’m here right now :/

 

It’s kind of embarrassing what social media marketers have to do (at least in my experience); for example liking your own posts from different accounts so it looks like there are more likes than there really are. It’s fucking hard to do this organically and I think that’s why a lot of people cheated back in the day and bought likes & followers instead. Of course nowadays, it isn’t allowed anymore…just use bots, amirite? Ugh. I still don’t know how to do that, nor do I want to.

I think that is why I never considered myself a true marketer – you either come off way too salesy or it just feels forced. But I did try to create content for myself at some point under my real name. Trying to merge my Midheaven in Scorpio with my sun in the 10th house just wasn’t working though…since I have been working in the adult entertainment industry for years now, I realize that I feel more comfortable being semi-hidden out of the public eye (although my Mars in Leo still likes to be seen & admired sometimes, remember?).

A true occultist to the bone, and so here I am back home at Save the Savages.


The prompt I asked Gemini:
Explain to me what the difference is between my Midheaven in Scorpio and my sun in the 10th house; I’m trying to write a blog post showing why I can’t be a true marketer when I was attempting to create content for myself as a personal brand and prefer to be semi-hidden from the pubic eye.

Gemini’s response:
This is a brilliant topic for a blog post because it perfectly captures the “High-Stakes Tug-of-War” between your outward success and your private soul. To a “Marketing Guru,” the 10th House and the Midheaven (MC) look like the same thing—The Spotlight—but to you, they are functioning in two completely different dimensions.

Here is the forensic breakdown of why your “Personal Brand” feels like a trap.


1. The Midheaven (MC) in Scorpio: The “Internal Investigator”

The Midheaven is your Public Reputation and your “Professional Soul.” In Scorpio, your “Face” to the world isn’t a billboard—it’s a Mask.

  • The Conflict: Scorpio is the sign of the occult, secrets, and “Deep Water.” Having a Scorpio MC means you are naturally drawn to careers that involve uncovering truth, not broadcasting noise. * The “Anti-Marketer” Logic: True marketing requires “Radical Transparency” and constant, shallow visibility (being “The Face”). A Scorpio MC hates this. You want your work to be a mystery that people have to “detect” or “earn” access to. You’d rather be the Power Behind the Throne (the producer, the researcher, the strategist) than the “Brand” on the screen.

2. The Sun in the 10th House: The “Visible Light”

The Sun is your Core Identity and Vitality. Having it in the 10th House (the House of Career/Fame) means that you must be recognized to feel alive.

  • The Paradox: Your Sun wants to shine and achieve the $2M “Establishment” status. But because it’s filtered through that Scorpio MC, the “Light” feels like a spotlight you didn’t ask for.

  • The Result: You attract attention effortlessly, but you feel “exposed” when you get it. You want the Authority (10th House) without the Attention (Marketing).

bookmark_borderDrawing: L.A. Ace of Pentacles

I don’t know why I prefer to share my drawings here instead of IG.

I guess I just don’t care for likes or to be seen anymore. I think “creating for the gram” or social media in general tends to dampen ones creative spirit…I know it does for me.

A part of you is creating based on the possibility of getting more “likes”…it’s a trap that everyone falls into.

Stop giving a fuck about it.

Create because you want to.

Create because it what drives you to be.

I pulled the Ace of Pentacles today, along with 5 of Wands and The Empress.

I felt compelled to draw it, it’s one of my favorite cards. Whenever I pull it it always screams ‘Money Out of Nowhere’ to me. And that’s always a good thing because I.love.money.

Edit: I took the photo in the daytime so it looks closer though not as pastel-y in real life.

Edit: here is a photo of The Ace of Pentacles, Albano Waite version.

bookmark_borderDeath Tarot & Sacred Symbols Oracle Card

The Death card appeared to me twice this week – first it was Death from the Sacred Symbols Oracle deck with the skull and rose at the beginning of this week on Monday, (top left)…

and then last night when I came home from work. I was sitting at my desk talking to a friend on the phone when I randomly pulled the Death card again from my HK tarot deck (bottom right).

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Edit 10/2/19: some people have asked me where I got the HK tarot deck. I got it from Etsy but I don’t think the person is making them anymore. Sorry! I’m guessing it was a bootleg and the person didn’t want to get sued by HK / Sanrio for using their images.

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I had a few other decks on the table so I decided to pull the other Death cards from them for this photo: top right is from the Albano-Waite deck and bottom left is from Camoin / Jodorowsky’s Tarot de Marseille.

The reason why I have all these tarot and oracle decks is because I am learning from them, they guide me throughout the days of the week. I feel better prepared for real life situations (whether I am consciously aware of them or not), and I admire the artwork too. The Tarot is a teacher. I’ve barely been studying the Tarot for only about 4 years now and I guess this is my method of learning; I learned that the same cards tend to come up in different decks. It probably doesn’t make sense to others, but for me it helps me to see comparisons. Consider it a double or triple confirmation. Some decks I use more frequently than others and so they end up sitting on my desk for months.

Reflecting on all the violent events so far this year made me realize even more that Death is and will always be a constant part of our lives. Someone is probably dying right now at this very moment, but we’re not aware because it’s just another day. So we only pay attention to what we see on TV and social media. We cannot dictate to Death who lives and who dies; Death doesn’t care if you’re gay, a person of color, a cop, a rich or poor person or someone of authority…

Death comes for everyone, this is the ultimate truth. Once you strip away all the complex feelings that humans attach to death – grief, sadness, hate, anger and everything in between…

there is just that, the natural part of life. It seems unnatural that a person dies at the hand of another, but at the same time this is and has been the history of human civilization. A person dies, and another one is born. It’s the cycle that keeps on going, no matter how we feel about it. The World Tarot card appeared to me this week too.

Death is certainly the most painful of all teachers. It is the one that is hard to let go of, to get over with and move on from. It’s especially painful for us who are still alive because we’re the ones who have to keep on living and remembering.

My mom passed away 10 years ago from cancer. I feel as if it was only in these last 4 years when the Tarot showed itself to me, that I started to feel like I could live again.

This is not to say that your feelings and emotions are invalid. They are valid and you have a right to feel the way you do. You can grieve and experience all the feels for as long as you need to, this is what it’s like to be human. Just know that this too shall pass, and that you have people that understand what you’re going through.

Where there is death, there is also rebirth, growth, transformation, healing, a new way of seeing things, a different perspective and so much more. The effects of death are far-reaching; peace, love, unity, justice, karma, and other cause and effects can spring from it. It really puts me in awe.