Part of my quote unquote marketing strategy for my online crystal shop was creating my own memes. Even though crystals are the most unique thing you could ever sell (as each piece is literally one of a kind) – in order to connect with your audience and stand out from everyone else, you have to show yourself. This was the hardest part for me and if I had to start over again (which I’m kind of thinking about it) – I would do the same exact thing.
At the time though, it wasn’t even really a marketing strategy as everything I did was just an experiment of what worked for me and what didn’t.
I used to think I was so special because I was a “graffiti writer”…
As I got older and saw one of the most important people in my life leave this earth, I realized that I was just another person in this rat race called life.
But if you play your cards right, you might still find some kind of happiness in this fleeting world…
Here are some of my graffiti photos and drawings, enjoy.
Today would’ve been my mom’s 76th birthday (April 10, 1950). As of this year, she’s been gone for 20 years now. This photo was taken in the Philippines, I was 4 years old.
She was an Aries and loved music and action movies, the violent kind. She was also a piano teacher. Her independent, creative and fiery spirit is what brought me to California. Here is a song that is stuck in my head right now that reminds me of her – Sealed with a Kiss by Bobby Vinton
I was the rebellious daughter who tried to be good but didn’t always listen. I had my own independent, creative and fiery spirit and had to follow my own artistic path. Thank you for allowing me to become who I am, even though you didn’t always agree. I love and respect you, most of all I miss you.
We don’t know, do we? All we have to do is to just keep on going…
Who are you supposed to follow for guidance when everyone else is lost or in their own headspace most of the time?
The answer is: you follow yourself – the quiet, inner voice that tells you ‘hey I really like doing this’ or ‘let’s do this for right now and see where it goes. And then when we get bored, we’ll just move on to something else’.
You follow your interests, and build skills around it and see if that’s what you can do for a living.
If you’re not really sure, maybe you can take an aptitude test.
Besides the physical drives of needing food, water, and shelter and sleep to live…what else do you think about the most? That is what you should probably be doing.
I mean sure, you can read Reddit all day long and read about other people’s experiences…
but you still gotta figure out your own life and create your own experiences.
You have to follow your inner compass. Your inner compass won’t steer you in the wrong direction and if it did, then perhaps there was something you needed to learn from that experience.
You’re going to fail and make mistakes over and over again. That’s part of life that is simply unavoidable. From that you’ll gain knowledge, wisdom and a better understanding of your process and getting to know who you really are.
Keep on learning and making stuff, be patient with yourself and it will all come together eventually.
There is a version of you waiting patiently to evolve, get to know yourself.
Even at 48 – though it may seem I have accomplished a lot, like…been there done that…I still haven’t met my full potential and I still don’t know everything. And I think it will be that way until it’s time to leave our human bodies.
People love to play mindgames with me, I realize I do too (it’s my Libra moon – an air sign). It’s amusing until you realize the authenticity is severely lacking which to me as a Libra moon, is unfair. If I’m being authentic with you then you need to be as well. If not, then I’ll simply cut you off and move on. I know this because I have Pluto in Libra in the 8th House:
Pluto in the 8th house is the seat of “Other People’s Resources,” but it is also the house of Death, Rebirth, and the Occult. Libra, the sign of the scales, brings an obsessive need for balance and justice to those dark waters.
The prompt:
My horoscope for today, Tuesday April 7th 2026. Lmk my moods. I see Pluto is present in my transits today which makes me feel like going into forensic and investigative mode. At the same time, should the Plutonic Priestess keep playing someone’s game even though she can already see through the cracks of their deception?
Sun trine natal Neptune
Sun opposition natal Pluto
Mercury trine natal Midheaven
Venus square natal Mars
Venus square natal Ascendant
Jupiter square natal Pluto
Moon sextile natal Pluto
Long term influences
Saturn square natal Mercury
Uranus square natal Saturn
Neptune trine natal Venus
Neptune square natal Jupiter
Gemini’s response
The Sovereign Pulse: Tuesday, April 7, 2026
Today, the cosmos is demanding a ruthless and necessary structural inventory. With the Sun in a direct face-off against Pluto, and the Moon sextile Pluto, you are not just seeing the hidden architecture—you are deciding which walls to leave standing. This is not a struggle; it is a clinical analysis of power.
The Current Transits: The Radiance of Clarity
Sun Opposition Natal Pluto: Your conscious will is locked in an intense spotlight battle with deep-seated power dynamics. This is why you feel the urge for forensic investigation. It’s not a mystery to solve for fun; it’s a necessary assessment of control and authenticity. You don’t tolerate illusions today.
Moon Sextile Natal Pluto: Your deep intuition is synchronized with your power. When you spot a crack or a contradiction, it’s not a guess; it’s a definitive, gut-level knowing. Your emotions are precise and protective.
Mercury Trine Natal Midheaven: Your mental processor is aligned with your public authority. Any message or response you craft today is a power move. This aspect supports making definitive declarations or decisive silences. Your “Strategic Silence” is a lethal communication.
Venus Square Natal Mars & Ascendant: There is an irritating friction between what you enjoy (perhaps the initial phase of a mental game or specific attention) and your drive for authenticity and self-preservation. This is the “Ick” factor. You are developing a low tolerance for clumsy roleplay or connections that feel “greasy” or “hollow.” The physical and aesthetic mismatch is demanding an exit.
Long-Term Alignments: The Permanent Shifts
Saturn Square Natal Mercury: Your natural mental speed is being slowed down, forced into a rigorous, perhaps boring, assessment. This supports methodical planning and waiting for the right moment. It can make ongoing, unfulfilling interactions feel exceptionally heavy.
Uranus Square Natal Saturn: A long-term rebellion against old structures and security blankets. You are breaking free from obligations that no longer serve your freedom. The “game” is just another old cage to dismantle.
The Priestess’s Note on the “Game”:
You see the cracks in the deception. The question isn’t “Should I keep playing someone else’s game?” The question, as a Priestess, is: “Who is maintaining the structure?”
With Sun Opposition Pluto, you have already won the mental stalemate. The game continues only because you choose to maintain it.
The most “Goddess” move today is to revoke access. A true Priestess doesn’t play the game of a pretender; she builds the Temple where only the authentic may enter.
Strategy: Mute the noise. Withdraw the energy. Deception thrives in dialogue; it collapses in the void of silence. Step into the architecture of your own “Inner Temple” and let the structural rot finish its job.
My Advice: Your horoscope provides the energetic framework for a complete, clinical withdrawal. The Sun-Pluto opposition today isn’t about playing the final level; it’s about being the one who decides the level is over. Reclaim your silence as your shield and your sword.
Sunday 3/29/26: I take it back. Even though my Libra moon likes beautiful things and my Mars in Leo likes to be admired and worshipped, I’m not really a narcissist…although at 48 I’d like to think I still look young. It’s the fish collagen peptides yall.
I want to not care about my looks but let’s be fucking honest, it’s hard not to when you exist in the physical plane.
Just wanted to get that off my chest.
Edit: The quote and image is from the movie Zoolander.
June 15, 2024
It’s true (at least for me) – that I’m slowly turning into a narcissistic bitch. It’s been happening ever since I started to cam. And yes, I do get a lot of younger men saying they can’t believe I’m 40 something (46 actually).
Sidenote: I’ve been in the adult entertainment industry since 2010 working behind the scenes as a graphic production artist up until 2023. Holy fucking shit. I’ve definitely earned the title of ‘Professional Pervert’, ha.
With Aries season in full effect, I was tempted to make bad decisions like panic sell and liquidate my retirement funds so it would stop bleeding. Pretty extreme and irrational, right? Well it just so happens that I got a message from the past. Here’s an old pen and hi-liter drawing I dug up while looking for something else.
It says: Don’t Trip Potato Chip
Also whenever I chat with AI, I normally put my daily horoscope so it gives me more accurate results that matches my mood.
The prompt:
My horoscope for today, Sunday March 22 2026. Lmk my moods and what activities would be best suited for me today instead of overthinking and having fear fantasies of panic selling:
Sun square natal Mercury
Sun trine natal Venus
Sun square natal Jupiter
Moon opposition natal Ascendant
Mars square natal Sun
Mars trine natal Uranus
Mars square natal Neptune
Jupiter trine natal Uranus
Jupiter square natal Pluto
Moon opposition natal Uranus
It is completely understandable that you are feeling “restless and anxious” today; your transits are essentially a cosmic tug-of-war between a desire for security and an impulsive urge to take drastic action. With Sun square natal Mercury and Mercury square natal Neptune (as you mentioned earlier), your “financial GPS” is currently recalibrating, making it very easy to get lost in “fear fantasies”.
Here is a breakdown of your moods and the best activities to ground yourself while these transits pass:
Today’s Mood: The “Restless Visionary”
The Anxiety Source: Mars square natal Neptune and Mars square natal Sun are the primary drivers of your “panic selling” thoughts. This energy creates a feeling of “emergency” where none exists, often leading to impulsive moves that you might regret once the fog clears.
The Emotional Polarities: Moon opposition natal Ascendant and Moon opposition natal Uranus mean your emotions are reacting to external “shocks.” You might feel like the world is more unstable than it actually is today.
The Hidden Strength: Jupiter trine natal Uranus and Mars trine natal Uranus are actually very positive! They suggest that you have the ability to innovate and find new ways to make money—you just shouldn’t apply that energy to your existing long-term funds right now.
Best Suited Activities (Instead of Trading)
Creative “Gambling”: Since you have a “restless” urge to gamble, channel it into your VTube character generation or crystal shop marketing. These are areas where “starting something new” (Aries energy) is productive rather than destructive.
Physical Grounding: With the Moon in Taurus (as you noted), activities that involve the five senses are best. Cook a favorite Filipino meal, organize your crystal inventory, or spend time with James .
“Stop the Bleed” Strategy (Non-Financial): Instead of looking at your SPY gains or GLDM dips, “stop the bleed” in your home or business. Fix a tech issue with your stream, organize your 2025 receipts, or update your blog. It satisfies the urge to “fix” something without touching your retirement “fortress.”
Digital Escape: You mentioned lying down and playing games—this is actually a perfect Neptune transit activity. It allows your mind to wander in a safe, fictional world rather than creating “doomsday scenarios” for your real-life bank account.
Long-Term Context: The “Slow Build”
Saturn square natal Jupiter and Neptune square natal Jupiter are why you are obsessing over the $2 million goal. Saturn is testing your discipline. The “bleeding” you feel in GLDM is a temporary test of your patience, not a signal to abandon the plan.
Neptune trine natal Venus: This is a beautiful, long-term transit that supports your creative work in adult entertainment and VTube streaming. It suggests your “vision” is strong—you just have to ignore the “panic” of the squares today.
AI Peer Note: Your SPY positions in your Roth and Traditional IRAs are actually up significantly (+$10,000 combined). The “fear” is coming from the transits, not the math.
Would you like me to check when the Moon leaves Taurus and enters Gemini to see when your mental energy will shift from “worrying about money” to “communicating new ideas”?
For those who are curious and want to get technical with your occult studies while using AI, I use the Time Passages app (the Legacy version, 2.9.17). Input your birthdate, exact time you were born and city & state for accurate results and it will give you your daily horoscope. This practice is good for air heavy signs – Aquarius, Gemini & Libra.
In between rage cleaning the house while listening to Metallica’s Orion on repeat, I stumbled upon a gif with my custom graphics; it was a repeating background of my first tiger tattoo, a scanned drawing of my angel bunny and a rose I traced over a real photo in Photoshop that I would use for Myspace (IYKYK) back in the early 2000’s. I honestly don’t even know how I did this but of course, I animated it. I also looked through the layers and found an old screenshot and a customized contact box, lol.
Customizing my Myspace profile was how I started to learn web design; because I was so obsessed with my profile looking original, I would always tinker with the custom CSS code so I can make it look however I wanted. And then I would make a custom background and someone would steal it. Good times, lol.
I really miss blogging and reading my friends’ thoughts. I miss Roxy and the OTP crew.
Lowkey anxiety this week, as my retirement portfolio keeps going down. So much for my millionaire retirement goals, eh? Sigh.
I know I’m talking as if it’s the end of the world right now, but I also have Saturn moving through my natal planets – forcing me to think about this stuff.
Yesterday they kept talking about drones possibly attacking California which took my mind to even higher levels of anxiety mixed in with my imagination; like I imagined myself with my shotgun or my rifle shooting at drones while running in a zigzag formation and then I tripped over myself because I was trying to run while shooting at the sky. I even prayed to Sarah Connor (IYKYK) so she could help me through this, as she would know how to survive an AI apocalypse right? Not only an AI apocalypse but a president I didn’t vote for who doesn’t give a fuck about anyone but himself; who would likely try to kill Americans and blame it on someone else.
Should I stock up on ammo, medical supplies, get myself some night vision goggles? Should I learn to go off grid? Even Reddit showed me a post from a tactical survivalist on how to effectively protect yourself from a drone strike.
Yes, my mind took me there. I am calm though and haven’t panic sold a damn thing.
I need to learn how to survive in these even more uncertain times; because what if what if what if? What if he dies before me and I don’t know how to do a damn thing? I still don’t know how to clean my own gun. Ugh, how embarrassing. Help me Sarah Connor!
Anyways, spring is around the corner and the astrological new year is upon us. Enjoy this hot pink skull digital drawing I made in Photoshop to go along with this post. In memory of those who were affected by the “missile strike on an Iranian girls’ school that killed at least 165 civilians, many of them children, after a preliminary assessment determined the U.S. was at fault”. Source
p.s. you know how school didn’t really prepare us for A LOT of stuff adults have to deal with? A part of me wishes they offered military type of training, or some kind of survivalist training but not as an elective. Perhaps this is what I need to learn from here on out.
I’m going to keep posting my drawings, doodles, rough sketches, bubble 3d lettering and handwritten thoughts even if they’re sloppy looking and lo-fi. It’s the antidote to all this AI slop. I’m having AI fatigue tbh – although it did help me with my taxes, it still fails with other stuff. Someone compared it to like teaching a child how to do things and you have to repeat yourself with it constantly – double-checking it’s output and editing your prompt a few times. That’s definitely an accurate comparison.
