bookmark_borderMeme Dump #999 – Age Defying Looks

Sunday 3/29/26: I take it back. Even though my Libra moon likes beautiful things and my Mars in Leo likes to be admired and worshipped, I’m not really a narcissist…although at 48 I’d like to think I still look young. It’s the fish collagen peptides yall.

I want to not care about my looks but let’s be fucking honest, it’s hard not to when you exist in the physical plane.

Just wanted to get that off my chest.

Edit: The quote and image is from the movie Zoolander.


June 15, 2024

It’s true (at least for me) – that I’m slowly turning into a narcissistic bitch. It’s been happening ever since I started to cam. And yes, I do get a lot of younger men saying they can’t believe I’m 40 something (46 actually).

Sidenote: I’ve been in the adult entertainment industry since 2010 working behind the scenes as a graphic production artist up until 2023. Holy fucking shit. I’ve definitely earned the title of ‘Professional Pervert’, ha.

bookmark_borderTest Video – Adobe Character Animator – 020326

I’ve been learning a new program in Adobe for work purposes these last couple of days; it’s called Adobe Character Animator (2026 version). With this app, you can create a character and it will sync up to your voice and body movements…

Obviously this doesn’t even look like me, but just wanted to do something fast. It is my voice though.

Next up, trying to figure out the alpha channel so I can put a custom background, there are some little annoying things with Ch that I don’t like. Anyways, so much to learn and figure out still!

p.s. don’t I look and sound sooo wholesome?? Omglol

bookmark_borderKISS = Keep It Simple, Stupid

My previous boss (RIP) would often say this. And I think about it whenever my thoughts spiral out of control.

The irony is that my old boss would start to complicate things, then we’re made to follow his madness. Everyone contradicts themselves.

The font is Laser, an 80’s style font.

bookmark_borderWork Shit

The pros and cons of working in adult entertainment marketing, at least for me.

Pros

+ I love my job. For someone who is a weirdo and an introvert anyway, it’s actually a good fit for me.

+ I get to create animated gifs (my favorite).

+ I get to be on the internet all day.

+ I get to learn new things in the world of internet marketing, as it’s constantly changing.

+ I’ve gotten better at writing.

I wonder, would my bio dad be proud or ashamed? I have a memory of him drawing naked ladies when I was little.

Cons

– There’s a high risk of your social media accounts getting suspended. This is what happened to me on Twitter recently. Like if you use your own phone number for work AND personal, then you will risk your phone number being blacklisted. I’ve already appealed to get my Twitter accounts back so we’ll see.

– You can’t really talk about it with anyone unless they’re in the industry themselves or they’re cool AF & open minded.

– Since I create graphics, trying to get another job is pointless as you can’t show any of your work. You would have to make up some dummy, “safe for work” designs just for your portfolio which in my experience, has been a total waste of time.

– The marketing gets repetitive; meaning, there’s only so much sexy shit you can say.

– Your marketing may come off as spammy to some people.

– Spammers and scammers are then attracted to you.

– It’s really competitive and if you’re successful, other people will just copy exactly what you’re doing and basically steal your shit.

Remember: high risk = high rewards. No matter how much the big social media companies try to suppress adult entertainment, people are always looking for it. 

About the gif animation:

I made it in Photoshop with 4 frames. So with each frame, you tweak the lips and the chin just a little to simulate movement. Maybe I will write a tutorial on this.

bookmark_borderOn Some Life Purpose Shit

I think I’m S L O W L Y starting to see my life purpose…and (I think) it sort of involves the fact that I’m weird with an open mind & open heart and the fact that I also work behind the scenes in the adult entertainment industry.

If you’ve been reading my blog for a while, you’ll probably notice that I rarely discuss my job. It’s a marketing and graphic design job so it’s nothing too exciting (unless you love sex & nudes, HA). I create lots of visual content sure, but I also look at a lot of data and some of it involves being technical.

But because of it, I’m attracting those who are weird like me that seek healing (they seek the crystals, not me btw) but can’t seem to be accepted by certain spiritual folk because it’s beyond their level of ‘weird’…

Spiritual folk who have issues with sex, sex workers and people who are on the fringe. And maybe even those who are all those things and are also POC. Those are the people who find me. People whom I accept because even though I don’t fully know what it’s like to be a sex worker, marketing for this industry allows me to understand a whole lot more than the average person.

And I have learned a lot from working here. I’m not even all that weird, really…as far as I know I’m straight and I don’t have a kinky lifestyle. I go to bed at 10pm and I get up to go to work just like everyone else, it’s just the content that’s different.

The secret’s out folks: I’m actually really boring as fuck.?

But like I said, I try to always have an open mind and an open heart. I’m learning to recognize Spirit in all things.

I mean, didn’t Jesus spend time with the lepers and the freaks?

And while I’ve worked here, I’ve delved into spirituality more and more – tarot, crystals, reiki, etc.

They’re all sort of merging into one…becoming something new.

I had a tarot reading with a good friend recently and she pulled the II of Wands from the Deviant Moon Tarot Deck and said something profound.

It went something like this:

Your two creative jobs are crossing over each other; they are becoming more fluid. There is no separation, just a flow of energy flowing in and out of one another.

I had to write this down before it slipped away.

Here are some other possible meanings for the Two of Wands.

bookmark_borderWhat Would You Do If You Were Fired Today?

I know what you’re probably thinking – the title of the post is completely unrelated to this image I created. Yes, your observations are correct. But I was in the mood, or better yet in a zone to draw crystals with my Wacom tablet while at work for some reason and attach it to this particular post. The title is still related to what I’m about to write…

What would you do if you were fired today? These are the kinds of thoughts that have been occupying my mind lately.

Continue reading “What Would You Do If You Were Fired Today?”

bookmark_borderIf Your Hobby Became Your Job…

If what you are really passionate about became your job, would you still love it?

Would you still feel the creative fire, or would it be replaced with feelings of obligation? Feeling stagnant and uninspired will also likely soon to follow.

Continue reading “If Your Hobby Became Your Job…”

bookmark_borderDream On

Today I am dreaming about a few things:

Rather than striving to buy a house (which I can’t afford at my comfort level anyway), I am now dreaming about freelancing yet again.

I’ve been doing the fulltime thing for quite some time now. It’s great to have that security but I also want to experience something different. I tried freelancing a couple of times before but failed.

I want to work for myself, and I want to grow my own business. I mostly just want the freedom to work from home and be at home. I’m kind of a homebody.

But just because it SOUNDS easy doesn’t mean it is.

And this could just be another pipe dream…
or this could be me manifesting a whole new reality.

If it’s in alignment with your highest good, then anything is possible.

Allowing myself to dream on.

Photo is a closeup shot of my favorite Labradorite stone. If you look closely, you’ll see what appears to be a lone figure. He occupies this mystical forest, just being.

I wish I could be like him, to just be. But it is also an inherent part of our human nature to want more for ourselves when our current situation no longer gels – to make our dreams come true, to manifest our truest desires.