bookmark_border05/29/26 Mood Gif: Born to Create, Forced to Work

Gosh, scrolling through Instagram I feel so weird right now. I want to start posting again, but everyone’s posts are so goddamned good and I feel intimidated. I shouldn’t be and yet I kinda am. So I guess I’ll just post over here until I feel confident again. People who follow me on that particular account aren’t down with AI too much so everything I post needs to be handmade digitally and somewhat original. It’s understandable as a lot of them are artists.

Just remember – AI is a tool, just like a pencil or a pen. It really can’t do anything without your input. Although I like it for some things, I don’t rely on it entirely unless I’m at work. Another reason why I just talk about it here because again, my Instagram followers will probably shame me for using it.

Anyways, here is the original drawing done inside my Many Moons journal today, Friday May 29 2026. Don’t get it twisted – I am lucky as fuck to work where I work. This is not a complaint but more like a commentary on people like me who have to work but would rather create just because we’re wired to. At the same time, my job supports what I do. If I had no job, then I’d probably be stressing about not having a job and money and because of the stress I probably won’t be creating anything so it’s a double edge sword that I’ve learn to live with.

bookmark_borderNew Moon Girl – Animated Drawing

Fri 11/01/24: bumping her up again because it’s a Scorpio new moon in Scorpio season. Go forth and manifest in the void.


Sat 8/20/22: bumping this up because I was looking for her.

I made her blink, maybe I will do a tutorial on how to do that. I’m pretty sure I posted the original drawing here somewhere…

nevermind, here it is from 2017.


June 22, 2020

Some random thoughts today:

I’m really glad I have this blog. Instagram and other social media hangouts may seem permanent, but it’s not your property. At least I can say this is my property. So if someone on Instagram decides they don’t like my post, they can report me. Then I would be on IG’s radar which means they can do other things, like shadow ban or disable my account.

Well I’m glad I don’t have a ton of followers on there, I don’t have to feel so attached like many others do who have built up a following on there. In some ways, I can relate more to porn stars and sex workers – who are used to having their accounts banned on a regular basis.

The impermanence of it all.

bookmark_borderGif Art: Remember Me When I’m Dead

I’m pretty sure my gif art will last longer…existing forever in the digital space.

I made this in After Effects following this tutorial on YouTube, rendered a 30 second video and brought it into Photoshop, converted it into frames and saved it as a gif.

bookmark_borderWork Shit

The pros and cons of working in adult entertainment marketing, at least for me.

Pros

+ I love my job. For someone who is a weirdo and an introvert anyway, it’s actually a good fit for me.

+ I get to create animated gifs (my favorite).

+ I get to be on the internet all day.

+ I get to learn new things in the world of internet marketing, as it’s constantly changing.

+ I’ve gotten better at writing.

I wonder, would my bio dad be proud or ashamed? I have a memory of him drawing naked ladies when I was little.

Cons

– There’s a high risk of your social media accounts getting suspended. This is what happened to me on Twitter recently. Like if you use your own phone number for work AND personal, then you will risk your phone number being blacklisted. I’ve already appealed to get my Twitter accounts back so we’ll see.

– You can’t really talk about it with anyone unless they’re in the industry themselves or they’re cool AF & open minded.

– Since I create graphics, trying to get another job is pointless as you can’t show any of your work. You would have to make up some dummy, “safe for work” designs just for your portfolio which in my experience, has been a total waste of time.

– The marketing gets repetitive; meaning, there’s only so much sexy shit you can say.

– Your marketing may come off as spammy to some people.

– Spammers and scammers are then attracted to you.

– It’s really competitive and if you’re successful, other people will just copy exactly what you’re doing and basically steal your shit.

Remember: high risk = high rewards. No matter how much the big social media companies try to suppress adult entertainment, people are always looking for it. 

About the gif animation:

I made it in Photoshop with 4 frames. So with each frame, you tweak the lips and the chin just a little to simulate movement. Maybe I will write a tutorial on this.

bookmark_borderAll is Divine Energy

I’ve come to the conclusion that all is divine energy – whether you use Reiki, Light Language, Middle Pillar, Quantum Touch or any other type of energy work to heal yourself and others.

I started using Reiki again for self-healing and found myself combining it with the others I just listed. I didn’t even force it, it just wanted to come through that way. I’ve encountered reptilian energy again while meditating with Serpentine, but this time it was benevolent. It was from the earth and I wasn’t fearful; it was alligators, snakes, kundalini energy.

I’m also at this state where I’m no longer paying attention to anyone in particular on IG, especially if they’re not paying attention to me. Whatever that was, a one sided energy exchange – has worn off. Admiration and adoration of others that you look up to is nice, but I noticed that I was hanging onto every word a few people were saying and believing it to be the absolute truth. It might be true for them, but not for me. So I pretty much had to snap out of it and unhook myself from people.

Just know that your thoughts and feelings about something or someone can change at any moment and that’s okay.

I’ve decided to stay in my lane and do whatever it is I’m good at. I’m still really trying to learn PHP, MySQL but mostly Javascript because I still suck major ballz. Not putting myself down, just being realistic; numbers with problem solving and equations aren’t my strong points but since I have to work with it a lot at work, I feel as if I really need to fucking learn it already. Wish me luck. As a Sagittarius though, I know that I tend to take on too many things to learn & achieve. I guess we’ll see.

Quick animated digital sketch gif by me, let’s call her Minty.

bookmark_border✨Friday Mood 12/21/18✨

“I know this steak doesn’t exist. I know that when I put it in my mouth, the Matrix is telling my brain that it is juicy and delicious. After nine years, you know what I realize? Ignorance is bliss.” Cypher // The Matrix 1999

How does it feel knowing you’re a slave existing in the matrix? I’ve been practicing all the self-help shit consistently, reprogramming my brain telling myself that I’m ‘free’ from all of this…

and yet today, this is how I feel. Coming in to work everyday going in waves of contentment to dissatisfaction then back again in a continuous, infinite loop.

Rest your mind, unplug for a bit. But will you do it though? Probably not.

My mood is definitely bleak today.

I suppose I should tell someone to “give me credit” for creating this, but I just don’t care. Credit me or not, none of it matters.

Also, reminding myself to grab a Selenite & Rose Quartz for my MIL this weekend, I’m hoping it will help with her Parkinsons.?

bookmark_borderGIF: Eternal Conflict 2012

I was digging through old files when I stumbled upon this old drawing. My mom was Christian so after she passed away in 2006, my soul wanted to draw, paint and explore the dark stuff. I was fascinated by the occult, Satanism, Anton LaVey and the image of the devil.

I was also heavily influenced by tattoo imagery, so I borrowed the devil image from Sailor Jerry’s flash. I wanted to be a tattoo artist at some point, so I bought a tattoo machine – tattooed myself and a couple of people out of my home. I was a scratcher, I didn’t get very far :/

Anyways, I guess I’m just reminiscing.

The Devil (15) is still my friend. I look forward to seeing him and I actually laugh, wondering what kind of temptation will he present to me whenever he shows up via tarot, or will he play the devil’s advocate through a person I encounter that day? You never know and that’s why I like him. He breaks up the seriousness of the tarot with his presence.

bookmark_borderMetaphysical Vibes – My New Online Rock Shop

Talk about rapid manifestation with Aries energy, I didn’t think I would be affected at all but when the time is right, you go for it even if you don’t have it all figured out. So I’ve decided to experiment with building up a new ecommerce business, selling something that I love and appreciate so very much: minerals.

I’m not sure where the idea came from, perhaps going to the Tucson Gem & Mineral Shows inspired me but at the same time I see so many people selling anything and everything online. I figured, well why can’t I do it too? And so here I am, practicing with my own resources. I think it will be a fun learning experience for me.

I was debating whether to go with Shopify or WooCommerce, but ended up with WooCommerce; the price for Shopify (although easier to set up) was just too steep for me. So even though it took a few steps to set everything up for WooCommerce – from buying the domain and hosting, installing WordPress and WooCommerce, connecting my PayPal account and all the tedious steps in between, it was less expensive.

Check it out: https://metaphysicalvibes.com/