Edit 05/04/26 – I went out with friends yesterday and took a pic of the sky and palm trees. I wanted to add it to the plain background.Thoth deck and Sacred Symbols Oracle with a Carnelian heart.
In order to make magic happen, we HAVE to act. We can’t just sit around and wish for shit to happen. Today is a good day to be around friends, and to be truthful when something doesn’t feel right. As we age over time, lying to make yourself or others feel comfortable is more exhausting. It’s just better to be truthful and honest, even if the truth hurts. It’s better to be yourself. Yes it’s uncomfortable but not telling the truth becomes a burden on your mind, body, soul and spirit after a while.
Go forth and make magic with your friends. If you have no friends, then be a friend to yourself – especially the parts you don’t like. People in your life will come and go, but the only person you’re going to be with for the rest of your life is YOU. So learn to love yourself each and every day and ALL parts of you.
Everyone you meet in your life is there to teach you something, even those who are younger. We are all here to learn and grow from each other, especially from people who make us feel a certain way. There will come a time when you’ll know it’s time to move on from a friendship or relationship whether you’re interests, priorities and circumstances have changed. Let it happen naturally.
From Mystic Medusa’s daily horoscopeThe back design of tarot and oracle card decks I own are just as beautifulI’m here right now :/
It’s kind of embarrassing what social media marketers have to do (at least in my experience); for example liking your own posts from different accounts so it looks like there are more likes than there really are. It’s fucking hard to do this organically and I think that’s why a lot of people cheated back in the day and bought likes & followers instead. Of course nowadays, it isn’t allowed anymore…just use bots, amirite? Ugh. I still don’t know how to do that.
I think that is why I never considered myself a true marketer – you either come off way too salesy or it just feels forced. But I did try to create content for myself at some point under my real name. Trying to merge my Midheaven in Scorpio with my sun in the 10th house just wasn’t working though…since I have been working in the adult entertainment industry for years now, I realize that I feel more comfortable being semi-hidden out of the public eye (although my Mars in Leo still likes to be seen & admired sometimes, remember?).
A true occultist to the bone.
The prompt I asked Gemini: Explain to me what the difference is between my Midheaven in Scorpio and my sun in the 10th house; I’m trying to write a blog post showing why I can’t be a true marketer when I was attempting to create content for myself as a personal brand and prefer to be semi-hidden from the pubic eye.
Gemini’s response:
This is a brilliant topic for a blog post because it perfectly captures the “High-Stakes Tug-of-War” between your outward success and your private soul. To a “Marketing Guru,” the 10th House and the Midheaven (MC) look like the same thing—The Spotlight—but to you, they are functioning in two completely different dimensions.
Here is the forensic breakdown of why your “Personal Brand” feels like a trap.
1. The Midheaven (MC) in Scorpio: The “Internal Investigator”
The Midheaven is your Public Reputation and your “Professional Soul.” In Scorpio, your “Face” to the world isn’t a billboard—it’s a Mask.
The Conflict: Scorpio is the sign of the occult, secrets, and “Deep Water.” Having a Scorpio MC means you are naturally drawn to careers that involve uncovering truth, not broadcasting noise. * The “Anti-Marketer” Logic: True marketing requires “Radical Transparency” and constant, shallow visibility (being “The Face”). A Scorpio MC hates this. You want your work to be a mystery that people have to “detect” or “earn” access to. You’d rather be the Power Behind the Throne (the producer, the researcher, the strategist) than the “Brand” on the screen.
2. The Sun in the 10th House: The “Visible Light”
The Sun is your Core Identity and Vitality. Having it in the 10th House (the House of Career/Fame) means that you must be recognized to feel alive.
The Paradox: Your Sun wants to shine and achieve the $2M “Establishment” status. But because it’s filtered through that Scorpio MC, the “Light” feels like a spotlight you didn’t ask for.
The Result: You attract attention effortlessly, but you feel “exposed” when you get it. You want the Authority (10th House) without the Attention (Marketing).
I used to think I was so special because I was a “graffiti writer”…
As I got older and saw one of the most important people in my life leave this earth, I realized that I was just another person in this rat race called life.
But if you play your cards right, you might still find some kind of happiness in this fleeting world…
Here are some of my graffiti photos and drawings, enjoy.
In between rage cleaning the house while listening to Metallica’s Orion on repeat, I stumbled upon a gif with my custom graphics; it was a repeating background of my first tiger tattoo, a scanned drawing of my angel bunny and a rose I traced over a real photo in Photoshop that I would use for Myspace (IYKYK) back in the early 2000’s. I honestly don’t even know how I did this but of course, I animated it. I also looked through the layers and found an old screenshot and a customized contact box, lol.
Customizing my Myspace profile was how I started to learn web design; because I was so obsessed with my profile looking original, I would always tinker with the custom CSS code so I can make it look however I wanted. And then I would make a custom background and someone would steal it. Good times, lol.
I really miss blogging and reading my friends’ thoughts. I miss Roxy and the OTP crew.
I told myself that I would snap out of this AI-generated tool craze and get back to creating something everyday, even if it looks like crap. I know I won’t be consistent with this (as with every project I start then abandon) but I need to get back to making things. Yes, messing around with AI can be fun but let’s not lose who we are as a human species whose inherent nature is to create.
So yes, I’m going to do my best even if I am inconsistent.
I am also really thankful to have ended up where I am in life.
June 2, 2023: I’m bumping this up because it’s still and will always be relevant to me. I know a lot of people still think astrology is fake…IDGAF.
June 27, 2021: I used to want to know/learn everything, I used to want to be everything. I literally would drive myself nuts.
In astrology, the four elements – Fire, Earth, Air and Water – can help you make sense of your personality and why you think and act the way you do. Each element represents a basic kind of energy and consciousness that operates within everyone and each person is consciously more attuned to some types of energy than others.
FIRE SIGNS : Aries, Leo & Sagittarius : expresses warm, positive energy. Keywords: enthusiasm, encouragement, passion, creativity and the drive to express self.
AIR SIGNS : Gemini, Libra & Aquarius : related to the thinking mind and its perception, expression, sensation. Mental pursuits and activities, abstract ideas.
WATER SIGNS : Cancer, Scorpio & Pisces : symbolize the cooling, healing principle of sensitivity, feeling response and empathy with others.
EARTH SIGNS : Taurus, Virgo & Capricorn : reveal an attunement with the world of physical forms and a practical ability to utilize and improve the material world.
One way of understanding these various energy patterns is to analyze them in terms of their modalities:
The Cardinal signs – Aries, Cancer, Libra & Capricorn – initiate and act
The Fixed signs – Taurus, Leo, Scorpio & Aquarius – represent concentrated, stable energy
The Mutable signs – Pisces, Gemini, Virgo & Sagittarius – are flexible and constantly changing
Source: Stephen Arroyo’s Chart Interpretation Handbook
I am mutable fire and cardinal/fixed air dominant which means I am powered mostly by creativity (fire) and thinking (air). It seems that I’m always moving to the next thing or I can’t stay still or make commitments. I also work fast (this is true when it comes to my work). I also like to think ahead and get things done as soon as possible.
The downside to this is that if I’m not aware of it I can become hasty or even reckless.
Why am I writing this?
I think it’s important to know these things if you want to understand people…especially yourself.
I had to really work on meditating, patience, compassion and being still with myself.
