
July 24, 2026: I don’t know where to put this so I’ll put it here. Lately, I’ve been dreading getting on cam. Why? Because it’s always the people I’m not really feeling that tend to show up, it’s also the same people who have tokens. It’s rare for someone to be likeable on there AND have tokens AND be actually good looking, a unicorn really; there’s only one person I can think of who is all 3.
And then there’s another person who’s kinda likeable AND has tokens but I’m not super into him.
And then there’s the person who really knew how to engage me; handsome, persistent, intense, loyal af but also a disruptive, disrespectful, controlling asshole and rarely had tokens. He was the worst and most memorable of them all. The one who took up a lot of my time. The one I loved and hated at the same time.
You know what’s even crazier? They’re all Sagittarius men. Fire + Fire = Fun, intelligent, flirtatious banter, hot esex but we’ll probably argue/fight a lot.
I probably said too much and will delete this soon.
May 18, 2026: If you repeat something to yourself over and over again, it basically comes true. For example, I’ve repeatedly said how much I suck at this and guess what? It came true. I just don’t have the energy to make content after being on the computer for 8 hours at my dayjob. Like I know for a fact I COULD make money but then it will also consume a lot of my time and energy. And I feel as if I don’t have much time left in this world, I don’t want to spend the rest of it working some more. I’m not dying right now however WE ARE ALL slowly marching towards our death and eventual demise.
For me I feel like time is running out; there is a lot of Saturn influence in my horoscope for the next few months so I’m a lot more quiet, antisocial and withdrawn. I feel like everything I say sounds like a total bummer and so negative…and I’m not normally like this; I’m usually positive and prefer to focus on the good side of life.
If anything, I would like to delete my account. But then people who paid for content will be upset, so it stays up for now I guess.
October 17, 2024: Time for a yearly update I suppose. I’m still on there. I make money sometimes but not a whole lot because I simply suck at promoting myself and sending out PPV’s, I’d rather not actually. It’s so contradictory but I really wish I could hide and be invisible most of the time.
December 16, 2023: My oh my have I evolved from the first time I wrote this. I feel like a different person now, still very introverted though. I’m not a popular OF girl and I don’t aim to be (I still value privacy and peace of mind) but I am making a little bit of money here & there. It certainly won’t replace my fulltime job but it helps.
May 18, 2023: Wow, time is strange. I was just going through the stuff I wrote here and came across this again. It’s 2023 and I started an OnlyFans again. Learning a lot, as usual; I didn’t know wtf I was doing in 2020 on OF but now I kinda do. I also have been behind the scenes for so long that it’s quite an adjustment to be marketing & promoting myself.
Aug 16, 2020: So I want to go on Only Fans just to try it out, because you know…I like to try things and experiment.
BUT!
I don’t want to be nude or sexy on there at all. I want to be the opposite of what everyone else is on there: awkward and wholesome…or awkward, but with a dirty mouth.
Or maybe I should be a mean girl. I confess that I enjoy being mean and talking shit.
Working in the adult entertainment industry for 10 years now, I’ve seen enough nudity in my life to last me a 1000+ lifetimes. I don’t want to join the porn tribe, I just want to be me.
Anyways, I just want to prove a point: that you can be on there, make money WITHOUT being sexy.
I’ve been dwelling on the idea for a few weeks now, so there must be something there. Also, it will motivate me to get better at creating content again, which I have been terrible at lately. I was doing okay for a while doing random talking videos to get better at talking but it seems I’ve lost interest.
And if you know me, then you know I tend to lose interest in things. And because of it, I always feel like I’m starting over again.