My previous boss (RIP) would often say this. And I think about it whenever my thoughts spiral out of control.
The irony is that my old boss would start to complicate things, then we’re made to follow his madness. Everyone contradicts themselves.
The font is Laser, an 80’s style font.
It’s February 2023 and I’m getting closer to living by these words. I pretty much can’t stand Instagram anymore. I feel like, if I’m going to waste that many hours online I might as well get paid for it.
July 2021: I posted this last year; except for the hustle part, this quote is still true for me so I’m bumping it up. I really don’t have a whole lot to say these days. The internet is weird so it’s better to move in silence…
I will say this though – it’s Leo season and I miss my favorite Leo: Roxy.
December 7, 2020: Even though social media is a big part of my day job (used to be), I’m not a fan of it as much these days. If you follow me on ANY of my Instagrams then you know I’m also not very consistent with any of them anymore. My internet life has gotten a lot quieter and I actually don’t mind. I think when I got suspended on Twitter in August 2020 (and it was for good btw, even though Twitter said in an email that I didn’t actually commit any violations ((ok, then wtf))), it gave me time to really think about what it is I enjoy doing.
And right now, social media annoys tf outta me, I find that I need more frequent breaks from it. I don’t have the same attention span. Which is why I haven’t been posting as much. It’s not directed towards anyone in particular either, I still scroll daily but not as much.
Also, since the top social media platforms have been heavy handed with the censorship, it’s pointless for me to promote anything adult. So in some ways, it’s pointless to post on social media.
I really like writing and meditation. And yes, even blogging (I still hate that word). It gives me time to hear myself instead of hearing everyone on Instagram or Twitter.
So yeah, I found this on Ice-T’s Instagram. It says:
p.s. I miss my ghost friend, Roxy???? – she loved to blog.
The internet is becoming a wasteland, isn’t it? You’ve probably heard every single inspirational, motivational quote out there. I’m sure we ALL have. It makes you roll your eyes or make that puking face, doesn’t it?
The meme says:
It’s never too late to start believing in yourself.
Vlad the Impaler didn’t even start impaling people until his mid-30s.
*Also, don’t get me wrong. I love getting motivated and inspired, we all need it. I just don’t wanna hear it or see it ALL the time.
It’s strange, isn’t it? The things we’ve spent time building up crumbles eventually as soon as people start to make fun of it.
Perhaps I’m too overly concerned…sensitive…about what people think but at the same time, you also have to put your feelers out there to see what people actually think.
It can be a downer on your energy for sure and it makes you want to hide (at least for me).
For example – my crystal shop. A few months ago on Reddit, I put up a photo of crystals for sale – some were natural while some were aura treated. It was then reposted in a subreddit forum called Mineral Gore. The purpose of the subreddit is to post unnatural, manmade or enhanced mineral specimens so people can comment at how ugly and atrocious they are.
One man’s treasure is another man’s trash. Again, to each their own.
But still, it personally affected me and I never wanted to post again.
The point of this post is that people ARE out there…UNCONSCIOUSLY making you feel bad for the things that you personally love. And when somebody shares their opinion that you don’t necessarily agree with regarding that thing you love, you’re most likely going to feel like shit and you’re going to want to hide.
Just understand that most people aren’t doing it on purpose or personally attacking you, they’re just sharing their opinion and preference.
But it still comes off harsh.
Reddit is a strange place…well, all social media in general. It feels good to have your posts or comments “liked” or “upvoted”, it feels awful to have them “downvoted” or when people leave shitty comments.
It’s hard to not take things personally, but I’ll keep on working on it.
(Yes, that’s me in the background with my husband taking a photo of this claw machine filled with kawaii stuffed animals).
Today is Friday 9/14/18 and I’m on fire right now, or as the kids would say: I’m LIT as fuck.? HA.
Putting things into place now that can only grow and get bigger in the future.
Yesterday in the morning, I did a crystal healing on myself again. This time, along with the other stones – I put my Pyrite with Quartz right on my solar plexus, the third chakra. Pyrite is masculine energy, manifestation, action, vitality, willpower, creativity, confidence; so I wonder if there is a direct correlation with this newfound drive and motivation I’m experiencing right now? I think so.
I’ve been working with that Pyrite with Quartz since the beginning of my business in 2017, it’s definitely doing its work. I actually did a lot of the things that I only talked or dreamed about, I even surprised myself. It’s a trip to watch yourself evolve.
Now I’m working on building my crystal healing practice, so I put up another website: crystalhealerLA.com – putting my digital marketing skills to use to build it up. I’m excited to create original content for it.
I don’t have a whole lot of clients yet, so I’ve been doing these crystal healings on myself – in order to understand what’s really happening when crystal energy is interacting with the human energy field. I want to be able to test and prove that something IS happening, even when we can’t see it. Not for the non-believers but really for myself and my future clients.
It’s all an experiment really, but I really like where I’m going with all of this right now. I plan to stay creatively focused.
The biggest takeaway for wanting to do something, is to just do it. Don’t expect perfection, just dive right in; you’ll learn as you go and you’ll perfect things as you do them.
“If people in powerful positions continue to hire and cast only people who look like them, sound like them, come from the same neighborhoods they grew up in, they will never have a greater understanding of experiences different from their own. They will hire the same models, curate the same art, cast the same actors over and over again, and we will all lose. The beauty of social media is it’s completely democratic. Everyone has a say. Everyone’s voice counts, and everyone has a chance to paint the world from their own perspective.” – Beyoncé // Vogue, September 2018
I’m not a fan of Beyoncé but this part in her Vogue September 2018 article really spoke to me.
Something about being in Leo season that’s making me determined as fuck.
I’m feeling a surge of energy from the sun.
In comparison to Cancer season, I feel a lot more stable and have clarity on what I need to do next…sort of.
Cancer season was turning me into a emotional wreck for no reason. I almost felt like a victim? A victim of my own fucking mind when it turns on me and starts to get me to think in limited ways.
I drive myself crazy sometimes. I feel alone on this because I feel like it’s up to me to keep up with finances, to figure out how to bring in more money. I feel like I’m the only one who invests in myself.
Anyways…
Right now I have investments and entrepreneurship on my mind. I think at this point I will have to create my own damn job; I keep looking on CL for something else but none of them appeal to me at all. The stuff that used to interest me no longer does.
Not only that but the deeper I go into metaphysical stuff, the less I can relate to the three-dimensional world.
At this point I really don’t want to work for anyone else but myself. How do I parlay this?
And is this a sign? It must be because it’s all I’ve been thinking about.
The Fool (0) has been showing up a few times now. This card usually never shows up, unless it’s time for me to dive into the unknown again.
And 8 of Swords is the card that tends to remind me of the so called “prison” that I created.
I have a few ideas (some are risky while most are just past my comfort zone) but at the moment I can’t think of anything else:
+ Pull out money from my 401k account, quit my job and live off of that while I bring up my small business.
+ Live a lean & frugal lifestyle. Downgrade to a smaller place (might have to be an apartment, meh) and cut out the cable and other stuff so I can have less expenses.
+ Move closer to my work so I don’t have to drive my car & spend so much money on gas and car repairs; I can just walk.
These are just ideas that have been running through my head these last couple of months. All I know is, something has to change. If this is my dream, then surely I can change it right?
Here’s my latest drawing: Soul Star and the Stellar Gateway. These are based off the 12 chakra system according to Katrina Raphaell in her book The Crystal Transmission.
Into an old habit, an old way of thinking…
I am totally aware of this. Right now I’m feeling an old habit creeping up on me, the feeling of boredom. I don’t want to be bored, yet I am. Perhaps the gloomy weather is causing me to feel this way, perhaps it’s my job.
Regardless I am thankful for my job, I am thankful for my life. I’m thankful that I was able to manifest an online business selling crystals; I don’t even know how it happened – being a seller was never really on my radar but marketing and building websites were, so there. It helps that I really like crystals too.
But I get bored still from time to time…I think everybody does.
You don’t have to fight it, but you can’t let it take over completely. So I am writing this to my future self as a reminder:
+ If you get bored, remember to just simply change it up! Do something a different way or make it a point to learn something new every day.
+ Read, read, read. Doodle, scribble, draw. Write with a pen, handwriting is still important.
+ Snap out of it, snap out of feeling sorry for yourself. Other people are really suffering and here you are complaining about being bored. SMH. Exercise, go outside, take a walk, breathe and be in gratitude for fuck sake. You really have a lot to be thankful for.
I am all too aware that I am also creeping my way into getting old, I can see the subtleties on my face. I’m caring less and less about a lot of things but I also don’t want to be forgetful. And I don’t want to be helpless. That’s why they say reading, writing and problem solving or playing memory games is important.
I’ve also been thinking about my finances a lot more, like 401ks and life insurance. I don’t have children so that made it a little easier, but I still have to think about retirement and my loved ones. Had I payed closer attention to this stuff when I was younger, I would be all set for retirement! I would be rich by this world’s standards. But if I DID amass that huge amount, then Uncle Sam would be taxing me for it, wouldn’t he? He sure would! So really, which choice is better; and are you really rich if all that you saved up for goes to paying down debt?
Whatever choice I picked is fine for me, I am successful either way. No matter what choice we make in life, Spirit will always look out for your best interest. You can always look back on your life and see how everything actually worked out for you.
I wanted to draw something for this post but I got stuck. So here’s an old drawing that I decided would look better in hot pink and as an animated gif.
I haven’t been feeling super creative and so I wrote this blog post over at my crystal shop’s website: How to Break Through a Creative Block with Crystals
To will, to dare, to dream, to want…
but don’t expect it to arrive exactly in the way you imagined.
Wanting without expecting it to be a certain way certainly feels like a balancing act; want it too much and you become obsessed, want it too little but then nothing happens. That’s why they call spirituality a practice – something you have to constantly work on. The non-attachment part can get tricky.
There’s lots of things I should be doing for Metaphysical Vibes to achieve certain results but haven’t quite gotten around to doing, like YouTube videos. I’m also supposed to be blogging a lot more too; actually I’m supposed to be creating LOTS of content on a consistent basis. Not sure if I can do it all though. Some days I feel like I should be posting more on Instagram or do an auction or a sale like everybody else yadda yadda…
But it all seems exhausting. Most of the time I just end up doing nothing and I’m totally fine with that.
But I guess I am doing something, I’m typing my thoughts here and practicing my writing. And I’ve been playing with the image above.
So I have resolved to not compete with anyone and just go at my own pace, that’s what I’m doing.
Reminding myself that I’m not everybody else so why do I feel the need to do what everyone else is doing?
Success is different for everybody, and I feel that I am already successful. Now I just have to step it up and see how far I can go with the resources I have.
I feel pretty grateful that I’ve gotten this far and I know it can only get better from here.
I am and have been living in the eternal now moment more these days. Life has been feeling more and more timeless the more I let go of certain concepts, like birthdays.
Like today is supposed to be my “40th” birthday but what does that really mean? It’s a construct, created by humans to measure time.
Anyways, before I ramble on about esoteric things – the whole purpose of this blog post was to post my first Celtic Cross reading I did for myself today. For the longest time, I feel as if I have been intimidated by this spread and was actually looking for someone to read my cards for me; but through the process of searching for someone I realized that I ‘could’ just read for myself (even though I still need help from a book). To anyone who is reading this, I’m not a professional tarot reader at all – I just read for myself.
So here is a photo of my reading using my favorite deck the HK Tarot with the card and card position meanings:
Position 1 / Heart of the Matter: IV of Pentacles
Position 2 / Opposing Factor: I The Magician
Position 3 / Root Cause or Unconscious Influence: XV The Devil
Position 4 / The Past: Page of Cups
Position 5 / Attitudes and Beliefs or Conscious Influence: IV The Emperor
Position 6 / Future or Approaching Influence: Ace of Wands
Position 7 / You as Your Present Self: II of Pentacles
Position 8 / You as Others See You: IX The Hermit
Position 9 / Guidance: III of Pentacles
Position 10 / Outcome: X of Pentacles
I’ve definitely been focused on business stuff lately so of course it makes total sense that a lot of pentacles are present in my reading. I’ve had money on my mind a lot – how to make it, how to keep it, how to make more of it in a way that’s enjoyable to me. The devil is ever present, reminding me of my strong attachments to material wealth (money).
I used Joan Bunning’s Learning The Tarot book as my guide; it was one of the first tarot books I got for myself and seems to be the book I still go back to often.
Do you have a tarot book that you really like? I’d love to know what books you read.
