bookmark_borderThere is No Creativity without Discomfort

Street signage that I would see on my way to work, recreated in Photoshop

From Mystic Medusa’s daily horoscope
The back design of tarot and oracle card decks I own are just as beautiful
I’m here right now :/

 

It’s kind of embarrassing what social media marketers have to do (at least in my experience); for example liking your own posts from different accounts so it looks like there are more likes than there really are. It’s fucking hard to do this organically and I think that’s why a lot of people cheated back in the day and bought likes & followers instead. Of course nowadays, it isn’t allowed anymore…just use bots, amirite? Ugh. I still don’t know how to do that, nor do I want to.

I think that is why I never considered myself a true marketer – you either come off way too salesy or it just feels forced. But I did try to create content for myself at some point under my real name. Trying to merge my Midheaven in Scorpio with my sun in the 10th house just wasn’t working though…since I have been working in the adult entertainment industry for years now, I realize that I feel more comfortable being semi-hidden out of the public eye (although my Mars in Leo still likes to be seen & admired sometimes, remember?).

A true occultist to the bone, and so here I am back home at Save the Savages.


The prompt I asked Gemini:
Explain to me what the difference is between my Midheaven in Scorpio and my sun in the 10th house; I’m trying to write a blog post showing why I can’t be a true marketer when I was attempting to create content for myself as a personal brand and prefer to be semi-hidden from the pubic eye.

Gemini’s response:
This is a brilliant topic for a blog post because it perfectly captures the “High-Stakes Tug-of-War” between your outward success and your private soul. To a “Marketing Guru,” the 10th House and the Midheaven (MC) look like the same thing—The Spotlight—but to you, they are functioning in two completely different dimensions.

Here is the forensic breakdown of why your “Personal Brand” feels like a trap.


1. The Midheaven (MC) in Scorpio: The “Internal Investigator”

The Midheaven is your Public Reputation and your “Professional Soul.” In Scorpio, your “Face” to the world isn’t a billboard—it’s a Mask.

  • The Conflict: Scorpio is the sign of the occult, secrets, and “Deep Water.” Having a Scorpio MC means you are naturally drawn to careers that involve uncovering truth, not broadcasting noise. * The “Anti-Marketer” Logic: True marketing requires “Radical Transparency” and constant, shallow visibility (being “The Face”). A Scorpio MC hates this. You want your work to be a mystery that people have to “detect” or “earn” access to. You’d rather be the Power Behind the Throne (the producer, the researcher, the strategist) than the “Brand” on the screen.

2. The Sun in the 10th House: The “Visible Light”

The Sun is your Core Identity and Vitality. Having it in the 10th House (the House of Career/Fame) means that you must be recognized to feel alive.

  • The Paradox: Your Sun wants to shine and achieve the $2M “Establishment” status. But because it’s filtered through that Scorpio MC, the “Light” feels like a spotlight you didn’t ask for.

  • The Result: You attract attention effortlessly, but you feel “exposed” when you get it. You want the Authority (10th House) without the Attention (Marketing).

bookmark_borderMy Natal Chart

7/29/2025: Wow, just revisiting astrology stuff I wrote years ago. The learning never stops and I still have so much to learn.


6/19/2021: While the younger crowd nowadays seems to find astrology useful in their 20’s – posting their chart on Reddit and asking questions; I really didn’t grasp it until these last couple of years. And I’m in my mid-40’s now.

It was not on my radar at all. I did not have a concept of astrology, birth charts or let alone my Sun sign. None of this was brought to my consciousness until 2012 and even then I still wasn’t thinking about it all that much. For the last 9 years I focused on learning Tarot, magick, psychic development, meditation and the metaphysical properties of minerals.

On a subconscious level, I was focused on healing myself too.

I suppose I should look back at my transits these last 2 years that made me all of a sudden have this intense desire to learn astrology and actually focus on it. I’ve been watching YouTube videos and buying more books on the subject and will probably have to get rid of my other books.

I’m pretty sure it is Uranus (awakening, unexpected change) in my 9th house (education, long journeys) or Uranus in a semi-sextile to Pluto (death, transformation, rebirth).

There’s a lot to dissect in a birth chart so the possibilities are endless. 2020 put me in limbo so now I’m excited about learning something that I know I won’t get bored of.

Also, when did I actually start talking/typing like this? I kid you not, I didn’t know anything 6 months ago. Even though I am still a n00b, I am amazed at how much I’ve been able to digest and synthesize.

It’s a bit wild to me and I feel like I am experiencing a different person in real time.

So here’s it is, my natal horoscope.

 

Edit: I know most people know this already as it’s common knowledge but if you don’t – you can sign up at Astro.com to generate your free natal horoscope aka your birth chart. You’ll need your birth info: the month, day and year, city, state, and the exact time you were born. If you don’t know the time you were born you can just put ‘time unknown’ and it’ll put 12:00pm.

It’s under Free Horoscopes > Drawings & Calculations > Natal Chart, Ascendant

bookmark_borderVideo: James with Mika & Miriya

Lol I’m super proud of this video that I edited on the desktop version of CapCut – James doesn’t like to show his face (we both have our Midheaven in Scorpio) which actually presented a fun challenge for me to put an emoji on his face while motion tracking it. Mind you, I’ve never really played with CapCut (only on my phone for Tiktok) but it was such a pain to edit on my phone so luckily CapCut offers a desktop version of their mobile app.

Anyways, if you’d like to follow my 2 British Shorthair cats’ Instagram it’s @mika_miriya_bsh

Here’s an in-depth read about Scorpio Midheaven: https://www.lovetoknow.com/life/astrology/scorpio-midheaven-careers-persona-purpose

bookmark_borderGoodbye Horses by Q Lazzarus

I’m posting this video because I want to save it here. I also want to talk about Chiron for some reason. What do the two have in common? Horses – being that Chiron is a centaur in Greek mythology.

More importantly (at least for me) is that in my birth chart, Chiron is in my third house in Taurus.

If the third house represents communication, it means that I have trouble talking, or speaking or saying things outloud. This is true, as I am an introvert to the core. I’m not very talkative.

Chiron represents the Wounded Healer in astrology, meaning everyone has a Chiron in their chart; everyone has a deep wound that they carry with them in this life that they have to work on healing.

I just discovered this recently which makes a whole lot of sense now, a breakthrough actually:

Copied and pasted from Tea & Rosemary’s blog regarding Chiron in Taurus:

The person with Chiron in Taurus will be afraid of losing something, whether it be safety, money, possessions, abundance, or love. The typical Chiron in Taurus will go to any lengths to avoid losing their home, their routine, the people close to them, their favorite possessions, their money, etc. Even if everything seems very permanent in their life, they will always be scared of some unexpected loss.

This resonates with me So.Damn.Much. Without going into too much detail, even though I have worked for other people most of my life I have always dreamt of being financially independent, like free from a job. I wanted to freelance; didn’t last very long. I wanted to tattoo; that didn’t happen. I wanted to have a small business; I’m barely even making it.

I can’t seem to do the things no matter how much effort I put into it. Not to say this is always true, but I try and fail A LOT it seems.

Or I just lose interest.

So yeah, that is my wound. I am afraid to not have resources and so I stay working. I’ve learned to work with this wound by accepting that I am meant to be working where I work. It is not creatively stimulating 24/7 but I am good at it; it has also given me the resources to be the provider and to live a life that is good. I’m also able to give to others freely. That is all I can ask for.

On the upside, I have found that learning astrology has been really good for me. This time though, I’m not trying to be an astrologer or be anything to anyone anymore…like that time I was trying to be a healer. Looking back I feel silly about it now tbh but for one reason or another, IT HAD to be expressed. That was the quality of that time period, where everyone and their mom wanted to be a healer including myself.

To be fair and not be so harsh on myself, my friend did pass away in Oct 2019.

Then 2020 came along and said ‘nope’! Being of service to others is not for me, not this year.

Then 2021 came and my cat had to be put to sleep.

I’m just learning for myself for once. And there is A LOT to learn and my Aquarius ascendant really likes it.

As a matter of fact, I’m learning so much by practice – interpreting people’s chart aspects on Reddit. So many people have questions and post their charts daily…

it’s almost as if getting suspended on Twitter led me to this, a blessing in disguise.

Anyways here is an old, rough drawing of a centaur, which I must’ve drawn when I had green hair. I’ve drawn centaurs a few times because me = Sagittarius.

bookmark_borderGetting to Know Saturn

This image was created to go with the astro weather at the time [2021] – Saturn Retrograde, Lunar Eclipse, Mercury Retrograde, Solar Flare
The older I get the more I get to know Saturn, the ultimate Time Lord. Also known as Kronos.

In Astrology The Divine Science by Marcia Moore and Mark Douglas, there are the Ages of Man. Saturn being the ‘stage of establishment’ (excerpt edited to be nonbinary):

The Saturnian period lasts from a person’s forty-second to their forty-ninth year and marks the end of their natural growth. By the time a person has completed their first half-century, they have thoroughly determined the type of human being they are going to be…

By now they should have achieved a measure of self-discipline and be of sound and mature judgement. However, if the previous stages have not been fulfilled, they will find themselves verging on depression and decline.

Being a Sagittarius Sun, I’m naturally optimistic. Please don’t mistake my personality for “positive vibes” though – I’ll roll my eyes at you.

But lately, I’ve just been…

– sad
– depressed
– bored
– isolated
– feeling stuck
– feeling way too serious
– more concerned about my health and how to preserve it

Yeah, seriously. I was thinking again to myself ‘fuck, am I having a midlife crisis right now’ because it’s about that time. Mid 40’s. And it could be because I’m having feelings of boredom and stuckness. But then again as a Sagittarius, I feel that way ALL the time.

VIII of Swords and IX of Swords type of vibe. I pulled those exact cards this week after not pulling cards for a while.

Saturn will discipline you and keep you restricted.

Saturn in Capricorn did this to me last year. It was trying to be my father and tell me I wasn’t shit. That everything I was doing was a waste of time. Like, where do these ancient, paternal/maternal ‘voices’ suddenly come from? Making you doubt yourself? Making you feel inadequate? Making you feel small and not-so-confident? That’s Saturn.

This year, of course Pisces energy amplifies it even more. All of this was going on in my head but it felt real. The output of emotions were real.

You’re not going crazy my dear, it’s all in your chart!

Having Neptune in the mix just makes everything more…nebulous. I feel dreamy but also lost and confused.

I hope this helps if you’re feeling heavy lately and not feeling fully like yourself. Look to the planets transiting your natal chart. It will give you some relief, but you’ll still feel crazy or attract it.

Many people don’t believe in astrology because it’s purely psychological; you can’t see it but you’ll definitely feel it.

The app I use is Time Passages.

p.s. for anyone who is wondering – I am okay, truly.❤️  I am pretty good at being able to see beyond myself and see a different perspective.

Edit: wanted to add some additional insights to this post. It’s true that while Saturn isn’t super fun, you can still benefit from Saturnian energy. For example, perhaps maybe you do need discipline – whether you’re trying to eat more healthy or change a habit (which in my case, yes) or you need to be restricted for a bit (which is also a yes for me because I’ve been spending money left & right).

Conclusion: you can still find opportunity or something good in a planet that’s not exactly known for being good-natured.

bookmark_borderOpinion: How to Reconcile the Differences in Natal Chart Methods

Warning: this is going to be a brainy, head spinning post. Mostly a ramble about what I’ve been learning in astrology. As some of you know, I’ve been on the astro tip lately like studying it for real. It’s all I’ve been talking and thinking about. I only talk about it here though because I still feel like a total n00b.

I’ve come to the conclusion that I’ll probably be a total n00b witch forever…there’s always something else to learn, you know?

Anyways, I’ve reached a point where things started to get really confusing and complex.

For example, when I look at my chart using the Placidus method – my sun is in the 10th house – the house of profession or your work.

But then I also looked at my birth chart through the Whole Signs method – my sun is in the 11th house – the house of friends, community.

I’m not going to say which method is more accurate because truthfully, there are more than just these two methods of interpreting a birth chart. I’ve observed so far that these two methods seem to be the most well known though.

And they’re very close; they’re just off by one house.

I guess you have to compare charts and see which one resonates with you more. Because at first, I was 100% sure that Placidus was more accurate. But then months later I revisited my Whole Signs chart again and now I’m not so sure.

Maybe they can just be blended together somehow? I don’t know…being a Libra moon, I can never decide and just pick something. I need balance, damn it!!

Oh yeah, I even looked at my Sidereal Astrology and that was completely different as well.

It’s all so overwhelming for my tiny human consciousness but I also feel more expansive knowing that I am beyond my human limitations. Thank you, Lord Jupiter!

Just remain curious and fluid about what you’re learning and hopefully after some time it won’t feel as overwhelming. This is how I felt about learning Tarot – it was TOO MUCH to learn at first. But 9 years into it I feel I’ve kind of reached a ceiling. I guess that’s why astrology is what I’m studying now.

Also, you know yourself better than anyone else, so it’s up to you to see what lands and what doesn’t. Professional astrologers – even tarot / oracle readers – spend a lot of time really knowing their stuff – interpreting and synthesizing what they see in your chart (or cards). Perhaps ‘synthesizing’ isn’t even the appropriate word but more like accepting that there will be contradictions in your chart or cards and that certain life situations will be in your favor and some will not. It’s a skill that takes years to study because there’s SO MUCH going on in a chart and there’s so much to learn.

Edit 7/29/26: your birth chart won’t make sense until you have a few years of lived experience. I’m 48 now and I can look back and say that the Placidus system is more accurate for me as I have spent 25+ years building my career (the 10th house).

bookmark_borderMeme Dump #7

The meme says:

Mars doesn’t wanna meet your stupid ass

This might be my favorite meme of all time. I LOL every time because I see myself in it A LOT.

Questions to think about today is: where is Mars in your natal chart? What sign and house is it in? And how does it play out in your life?

For me, Mars is in Leo in the 7th house (Whole Signs). In Placidus, it’s in the 6th house. Still don’t know what that fully means, I only understand the basics of it.

Let’s break it down a little then:

Mars – the planet of assertive (sometimes aggressive) actions & desires

Leo – a fixed fire sign; known to persevere in their actions. The word I’m actually looking for is loyalty.

7th house – the area where relationships and partnerships are concerned.

So then you combine or synthesize the three aspects together to create a statement that makes sense to the person.

For me, I interpret this as someone who is assertive and usually gets what they want when it comes to relationships; this could be in marriage or general partnerships. They also tend to last in the relationship (loyalty) so long as there is passion, fun, creativity, excitement.

 

*As I write this I can’t help but think of Roxy, my one Leo friend.???? I seriously miss that girl.

bookmark_borderWhy Do I Have SO MANY Instagrams…

I have been grappling with this question for some time now and I finally have an answer that I’m satisfied with:

I simply have a need to express different aspects of myself.

So there. That is the answer.

There is no point in fighting myself about it.

Or feeling bad that I can’t be consistent with any of them.

Anyway, here is a digital doodle of some pentacle flowers as I’ve got investments, money and visions of a future where we can all thrive on my mind. More than ever since we are now in the Age of Aquarius. The self and the collective are intertwined.

I also wanted to share this: if you’re feeling confused about your life and all your impulses – why you do the things you do, what motivates you, why you constantly contradict yourself, etcetera; I highly suggest looking at your astrological birth chart or getting a natal chart report. Astrology has answered so many questions for me, personally.

Also, if you’re in the giving mood please take a look at this awesome Instagram called Transanta.

bookmark_borderSanctum Regnum 2020

I really have tried, but I don’t have the energy that other people have to post consistently on social media.

As a mutable fire sign, I notice that I can definitely get it started but to continue it for the long run? Nope.

I am accepting it and not trashing my own abilities to stay relevant. I just don’t care that much either way.

What’s even crazier is that I looked into my Sidereal astrological sign recently and it turns out that…

I’m actually a Scorpio, and I can kinda see that; Scorpios are secretive and mysterious.

Here’s a photo of some candles I purchased recently from Mētztli at Revolutionary Mystic. I especially love the art on each label. Of course as soon as I lit the Solve et Coagula candle, I was immediately guided to revisit Transcendental Magic by Eliphas Levi; a book that normally puts me to sleep due to its arcane language…

oddly enough I couldn’t put the book down, and I understood a lot of it this time around.

Is there a devil? What is the devil? As to the first point, science is silent, philosophy denies it at hazard, religion only answers in the affirmative. As to the second point, religion states that the devil is the fallen angel; occult philosophy accepts and explains this definition.