Sometimes there are no words to explain how magick works in my life…so I just create.
I wanted to put a watermark on this but that would’ve been dumb, taking away from the beauty of this repeating animated symbol.
I don’t know what to call this symbol, I’ve seen it so many times in magickal works. I saw it on a tarot deck that I own and in the Psychonaut Field Manual. Since this PDF was shared with me for free, I figured I would share it with you because the original link seems to be missing.
Does the depression, sadness and self-pity go away because the season feels lighter and brighter? Maybe we just put it on the backburner until we feel the overwhelming pull of Pluto to take us back under to brood over our sins and aggressions. The neverending balancing act between love / self-forgiveness vs self-loathing, guilt and shame. Such a beautiful mess we humans are.
Everything is a cycle. Cycle of life – death and rebirth.
I really like this drawing of a geometric flower with my bunny in shades. I miss the way I used to draw. I feel like adulthood has robbed me of so much and I feel somewhat resentful. Like, what happened to the old me who used to just draw and create all day for no reason, no purpose whatsoever?
I know a lot of these thoughts are just passing through. I know I have much to be thankful for. It just feels like insanity at times when you realize that you have 12 signs, 12 houses, 10 planets and 4 elements existing within us all – every single one of them wanting to express themselves at any given time in an infinite number of angles.
Enjoy the aging process.
I drew this sometime last week but added some stuff last minute:
like the zodiac symbols. I am aware that I have Sagittarius & Scorpio in the wrong order, counterclockwise starting from Aries.
I was curious about when I was actually going to die so I googled ‘death astrology’ and entered my birth date – it gave me 2055. I filled out another one and it gave me 2042. I guess we’ll see, right? Live everyday as if it were your last.
I was reading something on Reddit recently. It was about Witchcraft or Psychosis – something along those lines. The person was asking when is their practice considered witchcraft and when is it considered a mental illness?
I can’t speak about the mental illness part but here’s what I will say about my experience with witchcraft / meditation or spiritual practice:
+ You must always set an intention.
+ Always call upon your highest and best guidance when tapping in – your higher self, your guides, your angels, loved ones, etc.
+ Imagination is a key component to seeing with your third eye. How do you know if you’re connecting with something else?
+ Pay attention to how you actually feel when communicating with this entity. Do you feel scared or anxious? Or calm and peaceful? Are you projecting this being from your unconscious self?
+ Grounding and anchoring yourself to this earth would probably help before traveling; meditating often to clear out any debris or baggage in your mental and emotional bodies before you begin.
+ My favorite protection mineral will always be Black Tourmaline which I like to pair up with Selenite. I also like gridding with Quartz crystals and sitting inside a circle of them.
+ Know yourself inside and out. Your strengths and weaknesses. That way when a negative thought or voice enters your mind, recognize where it’s coming from and banish it.
+ Just like with people, you have to set boundaries with these spirit beings. Which is why you must always set an intention.
+ It’s possible to self-sabotage your practice. If we are creating our reality then we are most certainly thinking of it ALL.THE.TIME. What have you been thinking about lately?
I don’t know why I’m writing about this. There were a couple of times when I was new when I started to question my sanity, but not in a way that I thought I was actually crazy although I had moments of feeling like I was. But I am aware that there are people who actually feel this way 24/7.
Some of us are more ‘open’ to these kinds of energies so you’ll have to figure out what works for you to maintain a healthy spiritual practice. It also could be that your third eye might be overactive.
Something I personally like to do is check the astro weather. I learned recently that when Neptune is making a transit in your natal horoscope – usually with the Moon – the archetypal energies are amplified – dreams, delusion, fantasy. You might even be more open to psychic impressions.
Conclusion: if you find that you can’t control what’s happening to you then it’s best to find a therapist best suited for your needs.
The death of Roxy and now a year and a half later, Tabby – I feel like – has stunted my creativity and side business pursuits. First I lost interest in Crystal Healer LA, next up is Metaphysical Vibes I think. It’s really not their fault at all but I’m feeling and experiencing the after effects. I don’t have the same energy for things; if anything I’ve been staring off into space a lot. I’ve literally been bringing Hematite and Apache Tear with me to work and it’s been helping me ground and stay in the moment (especially when driving).
I want to disappear from the internet and be anonymous, like the old days. Not to talk shit or anything, just to browse freely without someone trying to steal my personal data for marketing/advertising purposes or identity theft.
Somewhat related to this is a movie with Johnny Depp called Transcendence.
I also like the idea of creating anonymously. In that sense, you don’t have to worry about your identity, especially when it comes to people stealing your work. Not having an identity means you’re less likely to get upset about it. On another note, this is why Bitcoin is so appealing because it is decentralized; the banks don’t own it.
I’ve lost my sense of purpose and I don’t feel motivated – all the signs of grief. Right now I’m thinking to myself ‘why tf am I still here?’
I’m just trying my best to live through it and not be so hard on myself for not creating or being productive. I am grieving after all, I just don’t like to admit it.
I was tired from being on the computer at work so I came home and painted this instead of turning the computer on, which is something I want to do more often. Not saying I was off the computer entirely, I was still on my phone. I was just drawing lines and spirals but subconsciously a dimensional zodiac wheel appeared. I like it so far.
Even though I feel sad and empty, I am aware that other people are experiencing worse than me. There is always something to be grateful for, even in our pain and sorrow.
I don’t normally embed Instagram posts – I always think they will disappear somehow and then I’d have to delete this but this one was worth embedding because I want to remember it – both the image and the caption – for as long as it exists. I still don’t know much about asteroids but I’ll get there eventually.
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I have been grappling with this question for some time now and I finally have an answer that I’m satisfied with:
So there. That is the answer.
There is no point in fighting myself about it.
Or feeling bad that I can’t be consistent with any of them.
Anyway, here is a digital doodle of some pentacle flowers as I’ve got investments, money and visions of a future where we can all thrive on my mind. More than ever since we are now in the Age of Aquarius. The self and the collective are intertwined.
I also wanted to share this: if you’re feeling confused about your life and all your impulses – why you do the things you do, what motivates you, why you constantly contradict yourself, etcetera; I highly suggest looking at your astrological birth chart or getting a natal chart report. Astrology has answered so many questions for me, personally.
Also, if you’re in the giving mood please take a look at this awesome Instagram called Transanta.
I am really happy with how this video turned out, (even though YouTube butchered the quality after I uploaded it). So now it’s living on Vimeo and I tweaked the colors in Premiere. Getting older is pretty much equal to giving less fucks and not caring about others opinions and I love it. I am loving myself and what’s been wanting to express itself through video. I am thankful that I did those random talking videos to practice talking on Instagram, as it really did help me to be able to express myself.
Of course if you know me, I have to find ways to stand out from everyone else. Maybe it’s all been done before, but hey – it’s new to me and that’s all that matters.
Calling your energy back to yourself (at least to me) means you’re not liking, following and scrolling on Instagram as much. I was guilty of this for such a long time and it really kept me from creating anything for myself. Well not anymore; even if I don’t have a consistent amount of clients, I’ve made a promise to myself to stay creative and push myself to keep on learning.
Sales at my crystal shop have slowed down a lot, but at the same time I really don’t mind; it seems that the less sales I make, the less taxes I have to pay. Paying taxes in California sucks in my experience if you have a business – it’s no wonder so many people avoid paying it. Their system needs a major upgrade too as I got into a little messy situation with them for not paying on time, even though I did pay the full amount eventually. I exercised patience and persistence and it served me well.
I drew this today (Monday, November 5 2018).
I’m here, trying to just be and go with the flow. I once saw someone on Twitter tweet this out: “only dead fish go with the flow”.
So as usual, I’m conflicted.
Like, how do we just go with the flow if we are conscious beings, when we’re wired a certain way. It really takes effort to reprogram our minds and to find balance between wanting stuff to happen already versus allowing it to come to you.
I want so many things, but mostly I want to learn everything that fascinates me.
Right now I have a list of things I want to learn or make my way towards:
Light Language
Medical Intuitive
Holistic Life Coach
Quantum Healing Hypnosis
Transpersonal Psychology
I’ve also been considering going into Massage Therapy but then again I’m not sure whether I’m ready to touch people…I’m still thinking about it though.
I don’t know. I want to focus on one thing and get really good at it. But it also feels like I need to do other things too. Why? Selling minerals is cool but tbh, I’m already losing interest in it. Perhaps I was a bit naive in thinking that I was always going to make consistent sales, but not only that – selling gets boring after a while. I feel that I also made some poor decisions and spent more than I made. Lesson learned, I guess.
My intuition is leading me to a consciousness upgrade, it seems. It wants me to learn all this stuff that I’ve never even considered wanting to get into.
So here I am again, wondering where my life is going next. I honestly don’t know anymore. This is what wanted to come out today while drawing.
Reflecting back on it now, setting up the crystal shop was easy; selling something that is tangible and beautiful is quite easy.
Marketing & selling a service on the other hand, is a bit more challenging; people can’t see it, it’s not tangible like a crystal or a stone. But it’s still doable.
I trust myself, I trust that I can make this work.
Everything takes times to grow, the hardest part is being patient especially when you’re planting a seed. Seeds grow in the dark, you can’t see what’s happening but you must tend to it, you must believe that it will grow.
This is what I’m doing right now with my latest project, Crystal Healer LA; just experimenting with it and seeing where it goes. I expect it to be another source of income, and I expect to receive awesome clients from it. I expect that I am going to be in service to others in a way that makes me happy.
I definitely did not foresee that I would take the path of the healer. But really, I’m just following my inner guidance and it feels right.
My mindset is definitely different from last year, I was more driven & motivated. This time I’m more about just learning, experimenting and enjoying the experience.
I usually create content for every blog post, but I don’t know what to post this time around. I was digging through my internet files and stumbled on this surreal, occult work of art by Felix Labisse.
Today is Friday 9/14/18 and I’m on fire right now, or as the kids would say: I’m LIT as fuck.? HA.
Putting things into place now that can only grow and get bigger in the future.
Yesterday in the morning, I did a crystal healing on myself again. This time, along with the other stones – I put my Pyrite with Quartz right on my solar plexus, the third chakra. Pyrite is masculine energy, manifestation, action, vitality, willpower, creativity, confidence; so I wonder if there is a direct correlation with this newfound drive and motivation I’m experiencing right now? I think so.
I’ve been working with that Pyrite with Quartz since the beginning of my business in 2017, it’s definitely doing its work. I actually did a lot of the things that I only talked or dreamed about, I even surprised myself. It’s a trip to watch yourself evolve.
Now I’m working on building my crystal healing practice, so I put up another website: crystalhealerLA.com – putting my digital marketing skills to use to build it up. I’m excited to create original content for it.
I don’t have a whole lot of clients yet, so I’ve been doing these crystal healings on myself – in order to understand what’s really happening when crystal energy is interacting with the human energy field. I want to be able to test and prove that something IS happening, even when we can’t see it. Not for the non-believers but really for myself and my future clients.
It’s all an experiment really, but I really like where I’m going with all of this right now. I plan to stay creatively focused.
The biggest takeaway for wanting to do something, is to just do it. Don’t expect perfection, just dive right in; you’ll learn as you go and you’ll perfect things as you do them.
