Category: Writing

bookmark_borderAstrology Questions – 10/25/24

Posted on by savethesavages

If you know me well then you know that I am an astrology enthusiast. I’ve been using the SINE Daily Manifest app to ask specific questions about my life, career, relationships, etc. and it’s been really accurate for me.

Of course, it’s not free to use. It’s free if you want to see your daily astrology forecast, add a partner to check compatibility, etc. But the real meat and potatoes (at least for me anyways) is in the Daily Ask.

The only downside from it is that I can’t save my questions and the replies I get so…yeah. Lots of screenshots have been flooding my phone.

bookmark_borderThey’re Ghosts

Posted on by savethesavages

I know I keep saying this but STS will fade out, eventually. It’s just a matter of WHEN.

I am not in the sharing mindset right now. I just want to be a ghost and wander around unnoticed.

There’s a lot of Saturn / Uranus influence in my long-term horoscope. Like part of me wants to preserve what I already have (Saturn), the other part of me wants to break away from it all and start over again (Uranus). I want to save for retirement/old age (Saturn) but at the same time I really want to take a year off from working (Uranus). These two ideas have been pushing back and forth in my psyche a whole lot lately; it’s maddening I tell you when transiting Saturn is in a strong square with my natal Uranus!

Oh look it’s me :/

I do have a semi-random thought that I DO want to share:

There’s a part of me that wishes to save all the hoes. Yes, you read that right. I really wish I could provide a safe, ethical working space for sex workers – strippers, dancers, entertainers, etc. No matter how much we talk about them now, they still get treated like crap unfortunately. Of course I know nothing about the business of running a strip club whatsoever but from what I’ve observed online, the people who run these joints are for the most part sleazy and not ethical. It sucks to read this because there’s tons of sex workers who love what they do – they want to be safe and get paid fairly just like the rest of us.

bookmark_borderFound: Take it from an Old Guy

Posted on by savethesavages

This was written 10 years ago as a reply from a user on Reddit and was shared by Reddit on their IG account recently. I had to post it here because feels.

My friend just died. I don’t know what to do.

 

Alright, here goes. I’m old. What that means is that I’ve survived (so far) and a lot of people I’ve known and loved did not. I’ve lost friends, best friends, acquaintances, co-workers, grandparents, mom, relatives, teachers, mentors, students, neighbors, and a host of other folks. I have no children, and I can’t imagine the pain it must be to lose a child. But here’s my two cents.

I wish I could say you get used to people dying. I never did. I don’t want to. It tears a hole through me whenever somebody I love dies, no matter the circumstances. But I don’t want it to “not matter”. I don’t want it to be something that just passes. My scars are a testament to the love and the relationship that I had for and with that person. And if the scar is deep, so was the love. So be it. Scars are a testament to life. Scars are a testament that I can love deeply and live deeply and be cut, or even gouged, and that I can heal and continue to live and continue to love. And the scar tissue is stronger than the original flesh ever was. Scars are a testament to life. Scars are only ugly to people who can’t see.

As for grief, you’ll find it comes in waves. When the ship is first wrecked, you’re drowning, with wreckage all around you. Everything floating around you reminds you of the beauty and the magnificence of the ship that was, and is no more. And all you can do is float. You find some piece of the wreckage and you hang on for a while. Maybe it’s some physical thing. Maybe it’s a happy memory or a photograph. Maybe it’s a person who is also floating. For a while, all you can do is float. Stay alive.

In the beginning, the waves are 100 feet tall and crash over you without mercy. They come 10 seconds apart and don’t even give you time to catch your breath. All you can do is hang on and float. After a while, maybe weeks, maybe months, you’ll find the waves are still 100 feet tall, but they come further apart. When they come, they still crash all over you and wipe you out. But in between, you can breathe, you can function. You never know what’s going to trigger the grief. It might be a song, a picture, a street intersection, the smell of a cup of coffee. It can be just about anything…and the wave comes crashing. But in between waves, there is life.

Somewhere down the line, and it’s different for everybody, you find that the waves are only 80 feet tall. Or 50 feet tall. And while they still come, they come further apart. You can see them coming. An anniversary, a birthday, or Christmas, or landing at O’Hare. You can see it coming, for the most part, and prepare yourself. And when it washes over you, you know that somehow you will, again, come out the other side. Soaking wet, sputtering, still hanging on to some tiny piece of the wreckage, but you’ll come out.

Take it from an old guy. The waves never stop coming, and somehow you don’t really want them to. But you learn that you’ll survive them. And other waves will come. And you’ll survive them too. If you’re lucky, you’ll have lots of scars from lots of loves. And lots of shipwrecks.

 

bookmark_borderDrawing: Transcendence

Posted on by savethesavages

I drew this sometime last week but added some stuff last minute:

like the zodiac symbols. I am aware that I have Sagittarius & Scorpio in the wrong order, counterclockwise starting from Aries.

I was curious about when I was actually going to die so I googled ‘death astrology’ and entered my birth date – it gave me 2055. I filled out another one and it gave me 2042. I guess we’ll see, right? Live everyday as if it were your last.

I was reading something on Reddit recently. It was about Witchcraft or Psychosis – something along those lines. The person was asking when is their practice considered witchcraft and when is it considered a mental illness?

I can’t speak about the mental illness part but here’s what I will say about my experience with witchcraft / meditation or spiritual practice:

+ You must always set an intention.

+ Always call upon your highest and best guidance when tapping in – your higher self, your guides, your angels, loved ones, etc.

+ Imagination is a key component to seeing with your third eye. How do you know if you’re connecting with something else?

+ Pay attention to how you actually feel when communicating with this entity. Do you feel scared or anxious? Or calm and peaceful? Are you projecting this being from your unconscious self?

+ Grounding and anchoring yourself to this earth would probably help before traveling; meditating often to clear out any debris or baggage in your mental and emotional bodies before you begin.

+ My favorite protection mineral will always be Black Tourmaline which I like to pair up with Selenite. I also like gridding with Quartz crystals and sitting inside a circle of them.

+ Know yourself inside and out. Your strengths and weaknesses. That way when a negative thought or voice enters your mind, recognize where it’s coming from and banish it.

+ Just like with people, you have to set boundaries with these spirit beings. Which is why you must always set an intention.

+ It’s possible to self-sabotage your practice. If we are creating our reality then we are most certainly thinking of it ALL.THE.TIME. What have you been thinking about lately?

I don’t know why I’m writing about this. There were a couple of times when I was new when I started to question my sanity, but not in a way that I thought I was actually crazy although I had moments of feeling like I was. But I am aware that there are people who actually feel this way 24/7.

Some of us are more ‘open’ to these kinds of energies so you’ll have to figure out what works for you to maintain a healthy spiritual practice. It also could be that your third eye might be overactive.

Something I personally like to do is check the astro weather. I learned recently that when Neptune is making a transit in your natal horoscope – usually with the Moon – the archetypal energies are amplified – dreams, delusion, fantasy. You might even be more open to psychic impressions.

Conclusion: if you find that you can’t control what’s happening to you then it’s best to find a therapist best suited for your needs.

bookmark_borderMood: Altered States

Posted on by savethesavages

This song – Kapila’s Theme by Om always takes me somewhere else. I only listen to it when I’m driving to work or in some kind of zone.

Sight to freedom rises descender.Ground to screen of the seer, the sight, and the seen.Up to obviate the sentinel and ground prevails.Fuse to seed at the flight into absalom.Orbits arm across to light the new day.Harbingers eclipse a pendant of time unseen.Solidate unto the field of a flow remember.Glows serene to attenuate the space and time.Crows the severeic rite to freedom.Shored the origin forms to a ground accede.Axiom core of the light shrine flight to shining.Glows serene to attenuate the space and time.
Lock to field screen – row the ocean onto sentient ground.New rites of a Vedic sun to attenuate the blue horizon.Prevails flight resplendent – sails the shrine effulgent windship.Stillness breathes apex supreme – reflects the new tomorrow.Lock to field screen – row the ocean onto sentient ground.New rites of a Vedic sun to attend the blue horizon.Prevails flight resplendent – sails the shrine effulgent windship.Stillness breathes apex supreme – groundates toward the mountain.
Walk onto freedom shrine deliverance.Accede to ground under blue stoned moon.
Lock to field screen – row the ocean onto sentient ground.New rites of a Vedic sun to attend the blue horizon.Prevails flight resplendent – sails the shrine effulgent windship.Stillness breathes apex supreme – I walk toward the mountain.
Crowns the sovereic rite to freedom.Shored the origin forms to a ground accede.Axiom core of the light shrine flight to shining.Glows serene to attenuate the space and time.Orbits arm across to light the new day.Harbigners eclipse a pendant of time unseen.Solidate unto the field of a flow remember.Glows serene to attenuate the space and time.

Perhaps not being on Twitter is good for me, I am less distracted and reading and writing more. I really was on there mostly for work but then work & personal kind of started crossing over to each other. I don’t know, I guess that was my fault for allowing it to happen.

For this new moon, I re-commited myself to writing for 20 minutes a day again. I was doing it earlier this year but fell off.

Current books I’m reading:

Reiki and Japan: A Cultural View of Western and Japanese Reiki
Let me just say that this book has clarified and confirmed a lot of things for me. If you’ve been reading my weird & confusing experiences with Reiki, then you’ll understand.

Way of the Ancient Healer: Sacred Teachings from the Philippine Ancestral Traditions
This one is also really good, as the author blends history, culture, spirituality, shamanism, metaphysics, psychology.

bookmark_borderWhy is Instagram…

Posted on by savethesavages

so fucking addicting? I hate it and want to wean myself off of it. It’s not like I have a lot of friends to keep up with nor do I get a bunch of likes on my posts. It’s the scrolling part – addicted to seeing photos and addicted to information, I guess? I don’t know. As a creative person, I’m definitely stimulated by words and images.

I know I can do better things with my time…and yet I don’t.

I only draw or get creative when I know I have a deadline.

Otherwise, I’d much rather be doing absolutely nothing, or scrolling. Ugh.

I’m also aware that it’s Mercury Rx and I really should just chill the fuck out and be easy on myself. Why do I beat myself up for not being creative enough?

Roxy’s birthday is August 2, it is still unreal to me that she is gone. The few months since her passing was the strongest connection I had to her. I miss her so much, social media & the internet isn’t quite the same without her.

Smile now, cry later.

Fuck the world.

bookmark_borderCurrent Events from a Spiritual Perspective

Posted on by savethesavages

I am writing this down as quick as I can because it feels like I’ve received a download from above that’s worth sharing.

Martyr, sacrifice, reincarnation, karma, ancestors, trauma, healing, justice, integration, shadow work are the words I keep receiving in my mind.

Are things worse off than they were before?

Even though it seems fucking horrible (and it always seems fucking horrible), I’m going to say NO.

Black, indigenous, people of color are rising up continuously – becoming more empowered each time one of their own dies from injustices such as racism or police brutality. Though it is exhausting as fuck to have to go through this over and over again, it empowers them and many others to fight back, using the technology that we now have.

Taking pictures and documenting the whole experience with video, boosting it on social media.

The internet is a gift.

I don’t know how to articulate this exactly, but those who have died from police brutality, racism, abuse, etc…

had a mission to do exactly that.

It may seem extreme and violent, even unfair – because it is – but again: violence, death and rebirth is our heritage.

The big bang was a violent, cosmic event. So was the birth and destruction of stars and planets. Even human and mammal birth is violent – it’s literally stretching the opening to its limits so one could be born. Then you’re covered in blood and plasma.

That also doesn’t mean we just sit back and allow fate to happen – as we have free will – to fight back and follow what our inner guide/daemon/spirit/higher consciousness calls us to do.

As above, so below.

So that the masses can continue to wake up, including their own people; so that we can continue to heal, becoming more aware and conscious with each iteration, each death.

It was not all for nothing.

Nobody dies for nothing.

Understand that we are all witnesses to this, witnesses to the United States of America facing its own shadow…over and over again.

On a microcosm level – I understand to a point now, why I’m here in California in the US. It is my home, it’s where I belong.

Even though I was born in the Philippines, I have never felt at home there. I feel at home here.

Why? Because I am American, just as much as I am Filipino. My mom brought me here in 1984. I wouldn’t have met the friends I love so much if I wasn’t here. I wouldn’t have met the person I married if I wasn’t here.

I would be living a life in the Philippines probably, but not as the same exact person that I am now. Probably living a whole different existence, probably unaware and just living a regular life.

There’s nothing wrong with any of that. But that is not what my soul wanted for me, obviously.

Believe it or not, I am grateful to be here right now – amidst the violence and chaos. I feel connected to all people, perhaps the internet is making that possible. I am witnessing the light and dark forces at work.

I love and hate the United States of America.

I feel the sadness, anger, hate, frustration, grief while simultaneously feeling peace, love, gratitude and an expanded awareness of it all.

We are one existing separately, living that paradoxical life for all eternity.

bookmark_borderMagick Symbols: Write On Effect

Posted on by savethesavages

Me practicing how to write magical symbols in the air using the Write On effect in Adobe Premiere. It turned out kind of janky but whatever, lol.

The Pentacle is the name of the 5 pointed star enclosed within a circle, while the Pentagram is the name of the 5 pointed star itself.

Witches and pagans use this symbol for blessings, protection and sending light. It is not a symbol of evil.

bookmark_borderSTS 112718

Posted on by savethesavages

I realize that this blog of mine is sloppy as fuck. It’s a mess for sure but at the same time, I really don’t care. This is my personal art blog, this is where I get to truly express myself and say all that I want to say. I don’t get to do that on my other sites. Though I’ve put up artwork for sale on here, I’ve really not tried to monetize this.

Actually, I did try to use AdSense once but my site wasn’t good enough for Google. Oh well.

So if you’re visiting this site – yes, I’ve redirected SHERMGRAFIK.com to here. Sherm is long gone, it was an old graffiti identity.

What’s going on with me these days? I honestly don’t know. I’ve been in this neutral zone. I want to learn and do so many things that I tend to get pulled into different directions, thinking that I can do it all. Part of me wishes to know what my purpose is but I think I’m going to drive myself insane if I keep asking. It’s almost as if I’m not satisfied with the answers, as if my life purpose is supposed to be profound and exotic.

I think in some ways, I’m just supposed to be me.

bookmark_borderGarnet VVitch

Posted on by savethesavages

While driving to work I was holding this Garnet Soapstone (available for purchase) in the photo and got a surge of energy flow through me and my eyes welled up a little…I thought about blood, bloodshed and sacrifice.

In my mind’s eye I got a flash of witches being accused and persecuted. Perhaps these were just mental pictures from witch-related movies I’ve seen, I wasn’t sure. But it was enough to make me feel something and to write this down.

Anyways.

In terms of sacrifice, often times we think about veterans who were in the war, but what about the thousands of innocent witches, healers who were burned at the stakes…

What about the countless women who were raped past, present and future…

It was brought to my awareness recently that James Marion Sims, the father of modern Gynecology, owned black slave women and cut them up without anesthesia in order to study and learn about our reproductive organs.

The history of mankind is gruesome and it was the women who usually suffered the most.

They all sacrificed themselves to have what we have today.

All these women live through me and they exist as little druzy sparkles in this Garnet Soapstone. Garnet is all about strength and security. I am you, you are me, we are One. Now whenever I look at Almandine Garnets I will always think about all the blood that has been shed and seeped through the earth to create such a beautiful stone.

I cursed myself often, often wishing I was a man instead. They always seemed to get away with doing things. It took some time to love my body and accept myself as a woman.

I used to be angry that my period would inconvenience me, it’s actually happening right now and I think it’s perfect for writing this post.❤️