bookmark_borderMeme Dump #999 – Age Defying Looks

Sunday 3/29/26: I take it back. Even though my Libra moon likes beautiful things and my Mars in Leo likes to be admired and worshipped, I’m not really a narcissist…although at 48 I’d like to think I still look young. It’s the fish collagen peptides yall.

I want to not care about my looks but let’s be fucking honest, it’s hard not to when you exist in the physical plane.

Just wanted to get that off my chest.


June 15, 2024

It’s true (at least for me) – that I’m slowly turning into a narcissistic bitch. It’s been happening ever since I started to cam. And yes, I do get a lot of younger men saying they can’t believe I’m 40 something (46 actually).

Sidenote: I’ve been in the adult entertainment industry since 2010 working behind the scenes as a graphic production artist up until 2023. Holy fucking shit. I’ve definitely earned the title of ‘Professional Pervert’, ha.

bookmark_borderMessages from the Past: Don’t Trip Potato Chip

With Aries season in full effect, I was tempted to make bad decisions like panic sell and liquidate my retirement funds so it would stop bleeding. Pretty extreme and irrational, right? Well it just so happens that I got a message from the past. Here’s an old pen and hi-liter drawing I dug up while looking for something else.

It says: Don’t Trip Potato Chip

Also whenever I chat with AI, I normally put my daily horoscope so it gives me more accurate results that matches my mood.


The prompt:

My horoscope for today, Sunday March 22 2026. Lmk my moods and what activities would be best suited for me today instead of overthinking and having fear fantasies of panic selling:

Sun square natal Mercury
Sun trine natal Venus
Sun square natal Jupiter
Moon opposition natal Ascendant
Mars square natal Sun
Mars trine natal Uranus
Mars square natal Neptune
Jupiter trine natal Uranus
Jupiter square natal Pluto
Moon opposition natal Uranus

Long-term influences:
Saturn square natal Mercury
Saturn trine natal Venus
Saturn square natal Jupiter
Uranus square natal Saturn
Neptune trine natal Venus
Neptune square natal Jupiter

Gemini’s response:

It is completely understandable that you are feeling “restless and anxious” today; your transits are essentially a cosmic tug-of-war between a desire for security and an impulsive urge to take drastic action. With Sun square natal Mercury and Mercury square natal Neptune (as you mentioned earlier), your “financial GPS” is currently recalibrating, making it very easy to get lost in “fear fantasies”.

Here is a breakdown of your moods and the best activities to ground yourself while these transits pass:

Today’s Mood: The “Restless Visionary”

  • The Anxiety Source: Mars square natal Neptune and Mars square natal Sun are the primary drivers of your “panic selling” thoughts. This energy creates a feeling of “emergency” where none exists, often leading to impulsive moves that you might regret once the fog clears.

  • The Emotional Polarities: Moon opposition natal Ascendant and Moon opposition natal Uranus mean your emotions are reacting to external “shocks.” You might feel like the world is more unstable than it actually is today.

  • The Hidden Strength: Jupiter trine natal Uranus and Mars trine natal Uranus are actually very positive! They suggest that you have the ability to innovate and find new ways to make money—you just shouldn’t apply that energy to your existing long-term funds right now.


Best Suited Activities (Instead of Trading)

  • Creative “Gambling”: Since you have a “restless” urge to gamble, channel it into your VTube character generation or crystal shop marketing. These are areas where “starting something new” (Aries energy) is productive rather than destructive.

  • Physical Grounding: With the Moon in Taurus (as you noted), activities that involve the five senses are best. Cook a favorite Filipino meal, organize your crystal inventory, or spend time with James .

  • “Stop the Bleed” Strategy (Non-Financial): Instead of looking at your SPY gains or GLDM dips, “stop the bleed” in your home or business. Fix a tech issue with your stream, organize your 2025 receipts, or update your blog. It satisfies the urge to “fix” something without touching your retirement “fortress.”

  • Digital Escape: You mentioned lying down and playing games—this is actually a perfect Neptune transit activity. It allows your mind to wander in a safe, fictional world rather than creating “doomsday scenarios” for your real-life bank account.


Long-Term Context: The “Slow Build”

  • Saturn square natal Jupiter and Neptune square natal Jupiter are why you are obsessing over the $2 million goal . Saturn is testing your discipline. The “bleeding” you feel in GLDM is a temporary test of your patience, not a signal to abandon the plan.

  • Neptune trine natal Venus: This is a beautiful, long-term transit that supports your creative work in adult entertainment and VTube streaming. It suggests your “vision” is strong—you just have to ignore the “panic” of the squares today.

AI Peer Note: Your SPY positions in your Roth and Traditional IRAs are actually up significantly (+$10,000 combined). The “fear” is coming from the transits, not the math.

Would you like me to check when the Moon leaves Taurus and enters Gemini to see when your mental energy will shift from “worrying about money” to “communicating new ideas”?


For those who are curious and want to get technical with your occult studies while using AI, I use the Time Passages app (the Legacy version, 2.9.17). Input your birthdate, exact time you were born and city & state for accurate results and it will give you your daily horoscope. This practice is good for air heavy signs – Aquarius, Gemini & Libra.

bookmark_borderMyspace Neon Dream 2008 and Beyond

In between rage cleaning the house while listening to Metallica’s Orion on repeat, I stumbled upon a gif with my custom graphics; it was a repeating background of my first tiger tattoo, a scanned drawing of my angel bunny and a rose I traced over a real photo in Photoshop that I would use for Myspace (IYKYK) back in the early 2000’s. I honestly don’t even know how I did this but of course, I animated it. I also looked through the layers and found an old screenshot and a customized contact box, lol.

Customizing my Myspace profile was how I started to learn web design; because I was so obsessed with my profile looking original, I would always tinker with the custom CSS code so I can make it look however I wanted. And then I would make a custom background and someone would steal it. Good times, lol.

I really miss blogging and reading my friends’ thoughts. I miss Roxy and the OTP crew.

bookmark_borderRandom Thoughts – 03/12/2026

Lowkey anxiety this week, as my retirement portfolio keeps going down. So much for my millionaire retirement goals, eh? Sigh.

I know I’m talking as if it’s the end of the world right now, but I also have Saturn moving through my natal planets – forcing me to think about this stuff.

Yesterday they kept talking about drones possibly attacking California which took my mind to even higher levels of anxiety mixed in with my imagination; like I imagined myself with my shotgun or my rifle shooting at drones while running in a zigzag formation and then I tripped over myself because I was trying to run while shooting at the sky. I even prayed to Sarah Connor (IYKYK) so she could help me through this, as she would know how to survive an AI apocalypse right? Not only an AI apocalypse but a president I didn’t vote for who doesn’t give a fuck about anyone but himself; who would likely try to kill Americans and blame it on someone else.

Should I stock up on ammo, medical supplies, get myself some night vision goggles? Should I learn to go off grid? Even Reddit showed me a post from a tactical survivalist on how to effectively protect yourself from a drone strike.

Yes, my mind took me there. I am calm though and haven’t panic sold a damn thing.

I need to learn how to survive in these even more uncertain times; because what if what if what if? What if he dies before me and I don’t know how to do a damn thing? I still don’t know how to clean my own gun. Ugh, how embarrassing. Help me Sarah Connor!

Anyways, spring is around the corner and the astrological new year is upon us. Enjoy this hot pink skull digital drawing I made in Photoshop to go along with this post. In memory of those who were affected by the “missile strike on an Iranian girls’ school that killed at least 165 civilians, many of them children, after a preliminary assessment determined the U.S. was at fault”. Source

p.s. you know how school didn’t really prepare us for A LOT of stuff adults have to deal with? A part of me wishes they offered military type of training, or some kind of survivalist training but not as an elective. Perhaps this is what I need to learn from here on out.

bookmark_borderDrawing: Hold On To What Feels Real

I’m going to keep posting my drawings, doodles, rough sketches, bubble 3d lettering and handwritten thoughts even if they’re sloppy looking and lo-fi. It’s the antidote to all this AI slop. I’m having AI fatigue tbh – although it did help me with my taxes, it still fails with other stuff. Someone compared it to like teaching a child how to do things and you have to repeat yourself with it constantly – double-checking it’s output and editing your prompt a few times. That’s definitely an accurate comparison.

Anyways, hold on to what feels real…

bookmark_borderPhotos: Memories of the Future MMXV

02/05/2026 – Sorting through photos and wanted to add these. The bird was painted by my lovely friend, Femme9. Her Instagram


01/11/2026 – Just reminiscing about who I was…I think this was the last piece I painted in 2015.


11/2020

Do you ever mourn the person that you once were?

It’s a trip how one’s ego motivates you for a long time. For over 20 years, painting graffiti was all I ever gave a shit about. That and making sure my profession was somewhat creative.

Then my mom died in 2006 and even though I still painted, the desire to paint consistently started to fade away. I’m not going into details, but other people ruined it for me too.

Your consciousness changes over time. You are the same person but different.

I didn’t realize that I would also experience a death of some sorts, but I did. I’ve died over and over.

Copied and pasted from my birth chart report:

Your Sun is in the 10th House of your birth chart meaning that you’re the sort of person who likes to make your mark on the world, in particular through your profession.

 

The Sun is in Sagittarius

Your Sun is in the Zodiac Sign of Sagittarius indicating that you’re a sunny and optimistic individual, with a love of adventure. In fact adventure plays a key role in your life, whether it be literally traveling around the globe, or metaphorically speaking exploring the world of ideas and philosophy. You’re particularly enthusiastic about anything that expands your world and helps you forget about daily chores.

bookmark_borderSelf Portraits from The Past✨👁✨


Feb 4, 2026 – I’ve been looking for this photo, as I don’t really take photos of my own tattoos. I think this is from between 2015-2017. This California tattoo was done by skateboarding legend Eric Dressen. Eric if you happen to see this, hi!


Jan 20, 2026 – Bumping this up just because. Saying hello to myself from the future.


Aug 23, 2017 Hello friends!?

I don’t have a whole lot to say these days. Selling crystals and stones along with marketing and advertising the small business I started in April 2017 is keeping me busy as well as learning and expanding my knowledge of the mineral kingdom. I also became attuned to level I Reiki very recently; I wanted to bless the stones that I’m selling with Reiki energy. So yeah, I am very grateful for everything that I am experiencing. I don’t know where all of this is taking me, I’m just here for the ride and following whatever interests me.

This year has been so different, doing the constant work on myself has been life changing.

I am turning 40 at the end of the year, technically I already am.? I don’t know wtf that means anymore as I don’t feel like it. It used to be a big deal for everyone, right? I guess for me, it’s not…at least not anymore.

If you are reading this, I hope that you are having a transformative year, I hope you are living your best life.???

bookmark_borderHappy Full Moon – Meme

Sunday, February 1st 2026 — happy full moon in Leo! I hope you feel fired up to do something that lights your soul on fire. Keep going


Sat Jan 3, 2026 — Happy Full Moon in Cancer! May you feel emotionally nurtured tonight. Still my favorite meme so I’m bumping it up.


Some apps along with my personal calendars say the moon is in Sagittarius, others in Capricorn. Shrug if I know BUT I always tend to feel more energized & motivated when the moon is in Sagittarius since it’s my Sun; determined and ‘into my work’ when the moon is in Capricorn (my Mercury).

I don’t have anything to say, as you can see I’ve gone ghost on nearly all my IG accounts or simply deactivated them. It takes so much energy and effort to be on there; I don’t know when I’ll feel motivated to pick up my side projects again.

Introverts gonna introvert I guess…

I just wanted to post this meme as it was buried in my Instagram saves. Credit: @thatcatbobbie

I hope you’re doing well. I’m just here lurking and being on the internets and pondering the next stage of adulthood: do I want a house, or do I want to retire with lots of money? I constantly go between wanting everything and wanting nothing. It’s hard to decide when you’re a Libra moon!

bookmark_borderRenting vs Buying a Home in Los Angeles, CA

Saturday, Jan 10, 2026: 10 years later and I still don’t own a home. And you know what? I’ve accepted it. I am still renting the same place I’ve been renting for 10 years now, and it’s been good to us. Who knows what will happen next, but I’m glad I stumbled upon this post.


April 18, 2016: This is not really a rant, but more of an observation…

but it seems that those who either grew up in LA or have lived here for a long time can’t afford to buy a house. You either have to move really far away or suck it up; and by suck it up I mean you continue to rent the house or apartment you live in so you could have an easy commute to work and be close to the places you enjoy frequenting. It all boils down to comfort, convenience and sentimental value – you just love that area and don’t see yourself living anywhere else.

But everyone always says it’s better to buy than to rent. My parents were drilling this into my head before I even understood the concept.

Now that I’m a little bit older, I’ve been thinking more and more about buying a house. I’ve talked to others around my age (the 35-45 something crowd) and they want to buy a home too, but none of us can afford it. The prices of homes in certain neighborhoods are going up and a lot of these homes are really just somewhat average.

It’s as if locals are getting pushed out farther and farther out.

I’ve been thinking about how far do I want to live just to have the house I want. But other factors fall in too like will I like the area/neighborhood, how far am I willing to commute to work, etc.

In the meantime, enjoy this beautiful contemporary house I saw during one of my hikes/walks a while back. A bitch can dream, right?

bookmark_border01-03-26 // Pages from my Many Moons 2025 Journal

Sat 1/31/2026. Edit: I have stopped using Grok due to repeated ‘no response’. I have since switched to Gemini and I like it so far.


Saturday, Jan 3, 2026. This is the most art witch magick shit I did in 2025 – writing my daily thoughts and goals down in between rough doodles and sketches with a ballpoint pen and coloring it with Zeyar highlighter markers. My deformed bunny makes an appearance as Bat Bunny! Ayyye.

At the time, I was also using ChatGPT heavily for astrology-psychology analysis. Even though I don’t use ChatGPT anymore, I really liked the way it generated images for me – it captured my “bold lines, occult kawaii cute black and white tarot” style so perfectly. And then I would print out the images from my phone to a little sticker printer called a PrintPod that came from Wuhan, China. Was I paranoid af about touching the printer?! You damn right, LOL…I definitely sanitized the heck out of it.

I have since moved on to using Grok more (I know, I know), except Grok isn’t great at generating my style of images that I want to see which is a bummer. Both LLMs are still inaccurate by the way, so pick your poison I guess? Don’t trust what it outputs — double check everything.

So if you don’t trust what it outputs, why even use it? It’s still useful. It’s good at distilling information — like astrology and psychology, for me anyway. It’s given me a ballpark estimate of how much taxes I’ll have to pay; it’s even advised me on my stock picks and finances. Because I like to gamble sometimes (I can be a reckless Sag), it has stopped me from making bad financial decisions.

I only use Gemini for coding help and work purposes (Flow Veo3 for video generation) but maybe I’ll try Gemini for personal questions eventually? Idk. I feel like Google already knows everything about me whether I want it to or not and so I hesitate to use Gemini. For the sake of ease, accessibility and convenience we all literally gave our privacy away. Sigh. It is what it is. For the record, I don’t have anything to hide but it would still be nice to have the illusion of privacy I guess? I don’t even know what I’m saying…

I’m posting this to remind myself that while what I wrote down was a fucking mess (I was trying to learn Javascript too), I did meet some financial goals — I managed to save $10k by the end of the year for taxes while still investing into both of our Roth IRA’s. And now, I hope to save another $10k by the end of 2026 because my car is aging and I’m going to need a new, used one. The creator knows I hate borrowing money and has spared me from homeownership. I’ve accepted that I’ll be renting forever. I’m wondering if I have to start paying taxes quarterly? Lots of think about and ramble about but today, I just wanted to post this.

To anyone who is reading this — writing things down will help BIG in your manifestations. There’s a magical technique in ManyMoons where you write things down ahead of time, like in the months ahead. So by the time the year ends and you’ve reached those actual dates, you’d have reached your goal. Of course, not all goals will be met this year but you can still write stuff down for future manifestations.