bookmark_borderIn the Pursuit of Healing and the Unknown

If you’ve been reading this blog, you’ve probably heard me say this often:

I just don’t know what I’m doing anymore.

And it’s quite true.

I don’t know why I keep pursuing certain things; I don’t know why I am interested in wanting to learn Reiki, Crystal Healing and other healing modalities…or why I even decided to sell crystals and stones. I feel like I’m not the type, yet on the contrary here I am. The fantasy I had a year ago became a full blown reality; having an online business is expensive af, I imagine having a brick and mortar would be even more. I still really love the crystals though, the ones who are sitting in my home have brought so much good to my life.

Sales have been slow last month but that’s fine; I’m learning to trust the ebb and flow.

A lot of things don’t make sense to me right now, but again I’m going to trust it.

It would be a lot more practical of me to take more classes in computer programming, marketing, design, motion graphics, etc. More classes related to my work to stay competitive or whatever; keep up with everyone else and make more $$$…

But I’m just not into it right now. Yeah I love money, I mean who doesn’t? But I’m not into hustling or chasing money.

I’ve also been noticing recently that employers don’t pay people as much for being skilled. If anything, people are being laid off for being highly skilled AND making too much.

Things are always changing, even faster now it seems.

On the upside, I feel completely at peace. I am happy for no reason.

If you also know me from the past, you know that I lived within my ego. And while it had its highs, a lot of it was low vibrational.

What are people going to remember you for, really?

I can look back and say I was a low vibrational human being. Lol! I guess if you want to insult somebody you can start calling them a “low vibrational being”. They would probably be confused by that, or not. Try it and report back 😉

Anyways, so that’s what’s been going on with me.

We’re all evolving and becoming one with our Selves, one with the Higher Consciousness.

If you’re reading this, I hope you are doing what feels good and right for you…even if it doesn’t make sense! I feel as I will probably have less friends after this round. You will look back and then it will all make sense. Trust yourself, everything will be fine.

All my love to you.❤

[I made this drawing today to go with my blog post and turned it into an animated gif again. Sorry (not sorry), all I seem to draw are pyramids, stars and eyes now. I’m boring I know and I don’t care. Artists are SO full of , aren’t they? I don’t even know who is reading my blog tbh, so.]

bookmark_borderIt’s So Easy to Slip Back…

Into an old habit, an old way of thinking…

I am totally aware of this. Right now I’m feeling an old habit creeping up on me, the feeling of boredom. I don’t want to be bored, yet I am. Perhaps the gloomy weather is causing me to feel this way, perhaps it’s my job.

Regardless I am thankful for my job, I am thankful for my life. I’m thankful that I was able to manifest an online business selling crystals; I don’t even know how it happened – being a seller was never really on my radar but marketing and building websites were, so there. It helps that I really like crystals too.

But I get bored still from time to time…I think everybody does.

You don’t have to fight it, but you can’t let it take over completely. So I am writing this to my future self as a reminder:

+ If you get bored, remember to just simply change it up! Do something a different way or make it a point to learn something new every day.

+ Read, read, read. Doodle, scribble, draw. Write with a pen, handwriting is still important.

+ Snap out of it, snap out of feeling sorry for yourself. Other people are really suffering and here you are complaining about being bored. SMH. Exercise, go outside, take a walk, breathe and be in gratitude for fuck sake. You really have a lot to be thankful for.

I am all too aware that I am also creeping my way into getting old, I can see the subtleties on my face. I’m caring less and less about a lot of things but I also don’t want to be forgetful. And I don’t want to be helpless. That’s why they say reading, writing and problem solving or playing memory games is important.

I’ve also been thinking about my finances a lot more, like 401ks and life insurance. I don’t have children so that made it a little easier, but I still have to think about retirement and my loved ones. Had I payed closer attention to this stuff when I was younger, I would be all set for retirement! I would be rich by this world’s standards. But if I DID amass that huge amount, then Uncle Sam would be taxing me for it, wouldn’t he? He sure would! So really, which choice is better; and are you really rich if all that you saved up for goes to paying down debt?

Whatever choice I picked is fine for me, I am successful either way. No matter what choice we make in life, Spirit will always look out for your best interest. You can always look back on your life and see how everything actually worked out for you.

I wanted to draw something for this post but I got stuck. So here’s an old drawing that I decided would look better in hot pink and as an animated gif.

I haven’t been feeling super creative and so I wrote this blog post over at my crystal shop’s website: How to Break Through a Creative Block with Crystals

bookmark_borderThe Masonic Influence

I just realized that I have a lot of original content that I created for myself to use for social media stuff and really just for the sake of creating and experimenting; for example this one was my old Facebook cover photo from 2013. I always like things to match to the point where I become obsessive over it, like my cover photo and my avatar. What can I say, it’s one of the few things I CAN control.

I used an old drawing that I scanned (the woman with a rose and a skull); I then played around with colors and gradients in Photoshop. For some reason I was drawn to using bright colors, triangular shapes and checkerboards at the time – not really knowing the significance of each. I then created a black square shape, duplicated it and layed it out, grouped them together, flattened them and used the Perspective tool to create the floor. The white part is just one big shape.

I hope to type up a decent tutorial soon on how I create my graphics, so my blog posts can be more useful and have some kind of value to you, the reader.

Here is a good reference of the meaning of the checkerboard in Freemasonry