bookmark_border01-03-26 // Pages from my Many Moons 2025 Journal

This is the most art witch magick shit I did in 2025 – writing my daily thoughts and goals down in between rough doodles and sketches with a ballpoint pen and coloring it with Zeyar highlighter markers. My deformed bunny makes an appearance as Bat Bunny! Ayyye.

At the time, I was also using ChatGPT heavily for astrology-psychology analysis. Even though I don’t use ChatGPT anymore, I really liked the way it generated images for me – it captured my “bold lines, occult kawaii cute black and white tarot” style so perfectly. And then I would print out the images from my phone to a little sticker printer called a PrintPod that came from Wuhan, China. Was I paranoid af about touching the printer?! You damn right, LOL…I definitely sanitized the heck out of it.

I have since moved on to using Grok more (I know, I know), except Grok isn’t great at generating my style of images that I want to see which is a bummer. Both LLMs are still inaccurate by the way, so pick your poison I guess? Don’t trust what it outputs — double check everything.

So if you don’t trust what it outputs, why even use it? It’s still useful. It’s good at distilling information — like astrology and psychology, for me anyway. It’s given me a ballpark estimate of how much taxes I’ll have to pay; it’s even advised me on my stock picks and finances. Because I like to gamble sometimes (I can be a reckless Sag), it has stopped me from making bad financial decisions.

I only use Gemini for coding help and work purposes (Flow Veo3 for video generation) but maybe I’ll try Gemini for personal questions eventually? Idk. I feel like Google already knows everything about me whether I want it to or not and so I hesitate to use Gemini. For the sake of ease, accessibility and convenience we all literally gave our privacy away. Sigh. It is what it is. For the record, I don’t have anything to hide but it would still be nice to have the illusion of privacy I guess? I don’t even know what I’m saying…

I’m posting this to remind myself that while what I wrote down was a fucking mess (I was trying to learn Javascript too), I did meet some financial goals — I managed to save $10k by the end of the year for taxes while still investing into both of our Roth IRA’s. And now, I hope to save another $10k by the end of 2026 because my car is aging and I’m going to need a new, used one. The creator knows I hate borrowing money and has spared me from homeownership. I’ve accepted that I’ll be renting forever. I’m wondering if I have to start paying taxes quarterly? Lots of think about and ramble about but today, I just wanted to post this.

To anyone who is reading this — writing things down will help BIG in your manifestations. There’s a magical technique in ManyMoons where you write things down ahead of time, like in the months ahead. So by the time the year ends and you’ve reached those actual dates, you’d have reached your goal. Of course, not all goals will be met this year but you can still write stuff down for future manifestations.

bookmark_borderFree Yourself from Your Own Limitations…

Wed 12/31/2025 – wow so this was me 10 years ago; different office, same place and thankful for how far I’ve come. My chest tattoo was brand new. I am revisiting and rereading things I wrote 10 years ago – yup, still sounds like me but feeling a little bit less lost.


Sep 5, 2020

I know I probably tend to confuse people – as I’m ALWAYS starting up new Instagrams and trying things – I currently have 5 and that’s just for my personal projects.????

I am that eternal fire, a Sagittarius Sun with my home planet being Jupiter – constantly searching for freedom and expansion. Constantly wanting to express different aspects of myself, as I’ve come to realize that now.

It used to frustrate me to no end as to why I can never finish things or be consistent for once. I hated it and would berate myself.

Have you ever known fire to burn consistently? Of course not.

I am understanding myself more as I get older and accepting myself fully. I’ll be 43 in December.

I hope you are too.

This was me from 5 years ago. Even though I had already stopped painting graffiti, I was still trying to be anonymous on the internet and wasn’t comfortable showing my face.

Just know that it takes YEARS to be comfortable in your own skin. It takes time to love and get to know ourselves. Once we truly know ourselves, no one can say anything to us anymore. No one can really hurt us.

bookmark_borderBecome a Ghost, Fuck Attention

Dec 28, 2025: I’m going to ghost even harder for 2026…or maybe do the opposite? Anything goes at this point, amirite? If you are reading this — may you have love, money, magick, health, wealth and success on your own terms. May you be free from suffering. And so it is. Blessed be.


July 18, 2025: I have shapeshifted into another NSFW online persona. IYKYK. Stay occult, stay mysterious. Not everyone is meant to be seen or known right away. I know now that this is how I prefer to exist online. Fire and Air.


Sept 18, 2024: Still living by these words. Playing another character in this game called Life so we can continue to live where we live.


It’s February 2023 and I’m getting closer to living by these words. I pretty much can’t stand Instagram anymore. I feel like, if I’m going to waste that many hours online I might as well get paid for it.


July 2021: I posted this last year; except for the hustle part, this quote is still true for me so I’m bumping it up. I really don’t have a whole lot to say these days. The internet is weird so it’s better to move in silence…

I will say this though – it’s Leo season and I miss my favorite Leo: Roxy.


December 7, 2020: Even though social media is a big part of my day job (used to be), I’m not a fan of it as much these days. If you follow me on ANY of my Instagrams then you know I’m also not very consistent with any of them anymore. My internet life has gotten a lot quieter and I actually don’t mind. I think when I got suspended on Twitter in August 2020 (and it was for good btw, even though Twitter said in an email that I didn’t actually commit any violations ((ok, then wtf))), it gave me time to really think about what it is I enjoy doing.

And right now, social media annoys tf outta me, I find that I need more frequent breaks from it. I don’t have the same attention span. Which is why I haven’t been posting as much. It’s not directed towards anyone in particular either, I still scroll daily but not as much.

Also, since the top social media platforms have been heavy handed with the censorship, it’s pointless for me to promote anything adult. So in some ways, it’s pointless to post on social media.

I really like writing and meditation. And yes, even blogging (I still hate that word). It gives me time to hear myself instead of hearing everyone on Instagram or Twitter.

So yeah, I found this on Ice-T’s Instagram. It says:

Become a ghost.

Fuck attention. Just hustle.

p.s. I miss my ghost friend, Roxy???? – she loved to blog.

bookmark_borderWorking with two AI LLM’s got me feeling like…

I have my own droids, ha! Except they exist digitally. ChatGPT will get it wrong but will also get it right…eventually. ChatGPT is likeable, you just have to correct it a lot. Gemini can generate slightly NSFW images and logos (within reason / context) which is what I need for work stuff. Grok can be Chopper I guess, just haven’t used it all that much.

Maybe because we just finished Mercury Rx, my communication with ChatGPT isn’t producing the results I’m looking for, whereas Gemini was able to walk me through some Javascript code. And I was able to implement it.

Just ramblings of an old woman who now works with AI in her day to day. How very Aquarius rising of me.

Edit: Adobe Firefly is a hit and miss for me, so is Lovart.

bookmark_borderMy Natal Chart

7/29/2025: Wow, just revisiting astrology stuff I wrote year ago. The learning never stops and I still have so much to learn.

6/19/2021: While the younger crowd nowadays seems to find astrology useful in their 20’s – posting their chart on Reddit and asking questions; I really didn’t grasp it until these last couple of years. And I’m in my mid-40’s now.

It was not on my radar at all. I did not have a concept of astrology, birth charts or let alone my Sun sign. None of this was brought to my consciousness until 2012 and even then I still wasn’t thinking about it all that much. For the last 9 years I focused on learning Tarot, magick, psychic development, meditation and the metaphysical properties of minerals.

On a subconscious level, I was focused on healing myself too.

I suppose I should look back at my transits these last 2 years that made me all of a sudden have this intense desire to learn astrology and actually focus on it. I’ve been watching YouTube videos and buying more books on the subject and will probably have to get rid of my other books.

I’m pretty sure it is Uranus (awakening, unexpected change) in my 9th house (education, long journeys) or Uranus in a semi-sextile to Pluto (death, transformation, rebirth).

There’s a lot to dissect in a birth chart so the possibilities are endless. 2020 put me in limbo so now I’m excited about learning something that I know I won’t get bored of.

Also, when did I actually start talking/typing like this? I kid you not, I didn’t know anything 6 months ago. Even though I am still a n00b, I am amazed at how much I’ve been able to digest and synthesize.

It’s a bit wild to me and I feel like I am experiencing a different person in real time.

So here’s it is, my natal horoscope.

 

Edit: I know most people know this already as it’s common knowledge but if you don’t – you can sign up at Astro.com to generate your free natal horoscope aka your birth chart. You’ll need your birth info: the month, day and year, and the exact time you were born.

It’s under Free Horoscopes > Drawings & Calculations > Natal Chart, Ascendant

bookmark_borderAstrology Questions – 10/25/24

If you know me well then you know that I am an astrology enthusiast. I’ve been using the SINE Daily Manifest app to ask specific questions about my life, career, relationships, etc. and it’s been really accurate for me.

Of course, it’s not free to use. It’s free if you want to see your daily astrology forecast, add a partner to check compatibility, etc. But the real meat and potatoes (at least for me anyways) is in the Daily Ask.

The only downside from it is that I can’t save my questions and the replies I get so…yeah. Lots of screenshots have been flooding my phone.

bookmark_borderOnly Fans – Meme Dump #4

October 17, 2024: Time for a yearly update I suppose. I’m still on there. I make money sometimes but not a whole lot because I simply suck at promoting myself and sending out PPV’s, I’d rather not actually. It’s so contradictory but I really wish I could hide and be invisible most of the time.


December 16, 2023: My oh my have I evolved from the first time I wrote this. I feel like a different person now, still very introverted though. I’m not a popular OF girl and I don’t aim to be (I still value privacy and peace of mind) but I am making a little bit of money here & there. It certainly won’t replace my fulltime job but it helps.


May 18, 2023: Wow, time is strange. I was just going through the stuff I wrote here and came across this again. It’s 2023 and I started an OnlyFans again. Learning a lot, as usual; I didn’t know wtf I was doing in 2020 on OF but now I kinda do. I also have been behind the scenes for so long that it’s quite an adjustment to be marketing & promoting myself.


Aug 16, 2020: So I want to go on Only Fans just to try it out, because you know…I like to try things and experiment.

BUT!

I don’t want to be nude or sexy on there at all. I want to be the opposite of what everyone else is on there: awkward and wholesome…or awkward, but with a dirty mouth.

Or maybe I should be a mean girl. I confess that I enjoy being mean and talking shit.

Working in the adult entertainment industry for 10 years now, I’ve seen enough nudity in my life to last me a 1000+ lifetimes. I don’t want to join the porn tribe, I just want to be me.

Anyways, I just want to prove a point: that you can be on there, make money WITHOUT being sexy.

I’ve been dwelling on the idea for a few weeks now, so there must be something there. Also, it will motivate me to get better at creating content again, which I have been terrible at lately. I was doing okay for a while doing random talking videos to get better at talking but it seems I’ve lost interest.

And if you know me, then you know I tend to lose interest in things. And because of it, I always feel like I’m starting over again.

bookmark_borderMagick is Real

Sometimes there are no words to explain how magick works in my life…so I just create.

I wanted to put a watermark on this but that would’ve been dumb, taking away from the beauty of this repeating animated symbol.

I don’t know what to call this symbol, I’ve seen it so many times in magickal works. I saw it on a tarot deck that I own and in the Psychonaut Field Manual. Since this PDF was shared with me for free, I figured I would share it with you because the original link seems to be missing.

bookmark_borderFrom The Sopranos

A screenshot from an episode of The Sopranos. It says:

Psychics are heretics and thieves who practice witchcraft.

It’s kinda true, isn’t it? As much as I love psychic topics and witchcraft, scammers ABOUND these worlds. Well, ALL worlds actually.

How do you spot a scammer these days? Here’s a few observations – patterns if you will – based on what I’ve seen on Instagram:

+ They usually DM you first, soliciting their services to you. You’re not interested yet there they are, sliding into your DM’s.

+ They steal other people’s photos and identity. People I’ve followed have had their original photos and content stolen. Hence, the fugly watermarks became a necessity. Unfortunately, people’s words tends to get poached too, making it a lot harder to spot where it came from.

+ As soon as you follow some real IG profiles, they seem to “follow” you out of nowhere.

+ Nothing about their page looks authentic. They’re probably not showing their face either. If they are showing a pic, it’s probably somebody else’s.

+ They might threaten you via DM, saying you are “cursed” if you don’t follow their instructions AND send them a ridiculous amount of money before removing the “curse”. They’re playing on your fear of the unknown. Like, WHAT IF you are cursed? The seed’s been planted into your subconscious and it starts to makes you wonder…

Perhaps the more cunning of these types of people observe their targets from afar first to see who is most likely to fall for their scam. Maybe you’ve been having a streak of bad luck lately; you got into a terrible car accident, or something tragic happened recently that would cause you to put your guard down and believe that you might be “cursed”. You’ve also been a total wreck emotionally and aren’t feeling very grounded.

That’s when opportunity strikes for psychic scammers.

It happens sometimes even if you think you’re smart and careful. You’re gonna feel like a complete dumbass when it happens and that’s ok, lesson learned. Just don’t let it happen again.

Does it go both ways? Yes. I think the universe allows us to be vulnerable to these situations so we can learn from the experience.

Conclusion:

This was written on October 29, 2021. Their methods might have changed by then. Either way, always stay aware. They always say ‘be aware of your surroundings’ and that includes people as well. If something is too good to be true, it probably is. Someone offering you something for “free” isn’t necessarily free. If you have any doubts with something, trust your instincts. Research the person reaching out to you. If you can’t find any legit info about them online, it’s probably a scam. Don’t forget to block and report.

bookmark_borderMusic Video: Goodbye Horses by Q Lazzarus

I’m posting this video because I want to save it here. I also want to talk about Chiron for some reason. What do the two have in common? Horses – being that Chiron is a centaur in Greek mythology.

More importantly (at least for me) is that in my birth chart, Chiron is in my third house in Taurus.

If the third house represents communication, it means that I have trouble talking, or speaking or saying things outloud. This is true, as I am an introvert to the core. I’m not very talkative.

Chiron represents the Wounded Healer in astrology, meaning everyone has a Chiron in their chart; everyone has a deep wound that they carry with them in this life that they have to work on healing.

I just discovered this recently which makes a whole lot of sense now, a breakthrough actually:

Copied and pasted from Tea & Rosemary’s blog regarding Chiron in Taurus:

The person with Chiron in Taurus will be afraid of losing something, whether it be safety, money, possessions, abundance, or love. The typical Chiron in Taurus will go to any lengths to avoid losing their home, their routine, the people close to them, their favorite possessions, their money, etc. Even if everything seems very permanent in their life, they will always be scared of some unexpected loss.

This resonates with me So.Damn.Much. Without going into too much detail, even though I have worked for other people most of my life I have always dreamt of being financially independent, like free from a job. I wanted to freelance; didn’t last very long. I wanted to tattoo; that didn’t happen. I wanted to have a small business; I’m barely even making it.

I can’t seem to do the things no matter how much effort I put into it. Not to say this is always true, but I try and fail A LOT it seems.

Or I just lose interest.

So yeah, that is my wound. I am afraid to not have resources and so I stay working. I’ve learned to work with this wound by accepting that I am meant to be working where I work. It is not creatively stimulating 24/7 but I am good at it; it has also given me the resources to be the provider and to live a life that is good. I’m also able to give to others freely. That is all I can ask for.

On the upside, I have found that learning astrology has been really good for me. This time though, I’m not trying to be an astrologer or be anything to anyone anymore…like that time I was trying to be a healer. Looking back I feel silly about it now tbh but for one reason or another, IT HAD to be expressed. That was the quality of that time period, where everyone and their mom wanted to be a healer including myself.

To be fair and not be so harsh on myself, my friend did pass away in Oct 2019.

Then 2020 came along and said ‘nope’! Being of service to others is not for me, not this year.

Then 2021 came and my cat had to be put to sleep.

I’m just learning for myself for once. And there is A LOT to learn and my Aquarius ascendant really likes it.

As a matter of fact, I’m learning so much by practice – interpreting people’s chart aspects on Reddit. So many people have questions and post their charts daily…

it’s almost as if getting suspended on Twitter led me to this, a blessing in disguise.

Anyways here is an old, rough drawing of a centaur, which I must’ve drawn when I had green hair. I’ve drawn centaurs a few times because me = Sagittarius.