If you know me well then you know that I am an astrology enthusiast. I’ve been using the SINE Daily Manifest app to ask specific questions about my life, career, relationships, etc. and it’s been really accurate for me.
Of course, it’s not free to use. It’s free if you want to see your daily astrology forecast, add a partner to check compatibility, etc. But the real meat and potatoes (at least for me anyways) is in the Daily Ask.
The only downside from it is that I can’t save my questions and the replies I get so…yeah. Lots of screenshots have been flooding my phone.
October 17, 2024: Time for a yearly update I suppose. I’m still on there. I make money sometimes but not a whole lot because I simply suck at promoting myself and sending out PPV’s, I’d rather not actually. It’s so contradictory but I really wish I could hide and be invisible most of the time.
December 16, 2023: My oh my have I evolved from the first time I wrote this. I feel like a different person now, still very introverted though. I’m not a popular OF girl and I don’t aim to be (I still value privacy and peace of mind) but I am making a little bit of money here & there. It certainly won’t replace my fulltime job but it helps.
May 18, 2023: Wow, time is strange. I was just going through the stuff I wrote here and came across this again. It’s 2023 and I started an OnlyFans again. Learning a lot, as usual; I didn’t know wtf I was doing in 2020 on OF but now I kinda do. I also have been behind the scenes for so long that it’s quite an adjustment to be marketing & promoting myself.
Aug 16, 2020: So I want to go on Only Fans just to try it out, because you know…I like to try things and experiment.
BUT!
I don’t want to be nude or sexy on there at all. I want to be the opposite of what everyone else is on there: awkward and wholesome…or awkward, but with a dirty mouth.
Or maybe I should be a mean girl. I confess that I enjoy being mean and talking shit.
Working in the adult entertainment industry for 10 years now, I’ve seen enough nudity in my life to last me a 1000+ lifetimes. I don’t want to join the porn tribe, I just want to be me.
Anyways, I just want to prove a point: that you can be on there, make money WITHOUT being sexy.
I’ve been dwelling on the idea for a few weeks now, so there must be something there. Also, it will motivate me to get better at creating content again, which I have been terrible at lately. I was doing okay for a while doing random talking videos to get better at talking but it seems I’ve lost interest.
And if you know me, then you know I tend to lose interest in things. And because of it, I always feel like I’m starting over again.
Sept 18, 2024: Still living by these words. Playing another character in this game called Life so we can continue to live where we live.
It’s February 2023 and I’m getting closer to living by these words. I pretty much can’t stand Instagram anymore. I feel like, if I’m going to waste that many hours online I might as well get paid for it.
July 2021: I posted this last year; except for the hustle part, this quote is still true for me so I’m bumping it up. I really don’t have a whole lot to say these days. The internet is weird so it’s better to move in silence…
I will say this though – it’s Leo season and I miss my favorite Leo: Roxy.
December 7, 2020: Even though social media is a big part of my day job (used to be), I’m not a fan of it as much these days. If you follow me on ANY of my Instagrams then you know I’m also not very consistent with any of them anymore. My internet life has gotten a lot quieter and I actually don’t mind. I think when I got suspended on Twitter in August 2020 (and it was for good btw, even though Twitter said in an email that I didn’t actually commit any violations ((ok, then wtf))), it gave me time to really think about what it is I enjoy doing.
And right now, social media annoys tf outta me, I find that I need more frequent breaks from it. I don’t have the same attention span. Which is why I haven’t been posting as much. It’s not directed towards anyone in particular either, I still scroll daily but not as much.
Also, since the top social media platforms have been heavy handed with the censorship, it’s pointless for me to promote anything adult. So in some ways, it’s pointless to post on social media.
I really like writing and meditation. And yes, even blogging (I still hate that word). It gives me time to hear myself instead of hearing everyone on Instagram or Twitter.
Sometimes there are no words to explain how magick works in my life…so I just create.
I wanted to put a watermark on this but that would’ve been dumb, taking away from the beauty of this repeating animated symbol.
I don’t know what to call this symbol, I’ve seen it so many times in magickal works. I saw it on a tarot deck that I own and in the Psychonaut Field Manual. Since this PDF was shared with me for free, I figured I would share it with you because the original link seems to be missing.
A screenshot from an episode of The Sopranos. It says:
Psychics are heretics and thieves who practice witchcraft.
It’s kinda true, isn’t it? As much as I love psychic topics and witchcraft, scammers ABOUND these worlds. Well, ALL worlds actually.
How do you spot a scammer these days? Here’s a few observations – patterns if you will – based on what I’ve seen on Instagram:
+ They usually DM you first, soliciting their services to you. You’re not interested yet there they are, sliding into your DM’s.
+ They steal other people’s photos and identity. People I’ve followed have had their original photos and content stolen. Hence, the fugly watermarks became a necessity. Unfortunately, people’s words tends to get poached too, making it a lot harder to spot where it came from.
+ As soon as you follow some real IG profiles, they seem to “follow” you out of nowhere.
+ Nothing about their page looks authentic. They’re probably not showing their face either. If they are showing a pic, it’s probably somebody else’s.
+ They might threaten you via DM, saying you are “cursed” if you don’t follow their instructions AND send them a ridiculous amount of money before removing the “curse”. They’re playing on your fear of the unknown. Like, WHAT IF you are cursed? The seed’s been planted into your subconscious and it starts to makes you wonder…
Perhaps the more cunning of these types of people observe their targets from afar first to see who is most likely to fall for their scam. Maybe you’ve been having a streak of bad luck lately; you got into a terrible car accident, or something tragic happened recently that would cause you to put your guard down and believe that you might be “cursed”. You’ve also been a total wreck emotionally and aren’t feeling very grounded.
That’s when opportunity strikes for psychic scammers.
It happens sometimes even if you think you’re smart and careful. You’re gonna feel like a complete dumbass when it happens and that’s ok, lesson learned. Just don’t let it happen again.
Does it go both ways? Yes. I think the universe allows us to be vulnerable to these situations so we can learn from the experience.
Conclusion:
This was written on October 29, 2021. Their methods might have changed by then. Either way, always stay aware. They always say ‘be aware of your surroundings’ and that includes people as well. If something is too good to be true, it probably is. Someone offering you something for “free” isn’t necessarily free. If you have any doubts with something, trust your instincts. Research the person reaching out to you. If you can’t find any legit info about them online, it’s probably a scam. Don’t forget to block and report.
I’m posting this video because I want to save it here. I also want to talk about Chiron for some reason. What do the two have in common? Horses – being that Chiron is a centaur in Greek mythology.
More importantly (at least for me) is that in my birth chart, Chiron is in my third house in Taurus.
If the third house represents communication, it means that I have trouble talking, or speaking or saying things outloud. This is true, as I am an introvert to the core. I’m not very talkative.
Chiron represents the Wounded Healer in astrology, meaning everyone has a Chiron in their chart; everyone has a deep wound that they carry with them in this life that they have to work on healing.
I just discovered this recently which makes a whole lot of sense now, a breakthrough actually:
The person with Chiron in Taurus will be afraid of losing something, whether it be safety, money, possessions, abundance, or love. The typical Chiron in Taurus will go to any lengths to avoid losing their home, their routine, the people close to them, their favorite possessions, their money, etc. Even if everything seems very permanent in their life, they will always be scared of some unexpected loss.
This resonates with me So.Damn.Much. Without going into too much detail, even though I have worked for other people most of my life I have always dreamt of being financially independent, like free from a job. I wanted to freelance; didn’t last very long. I wanted to tattoo; that didn’t happen. I wanted to have a small business; I’m barely even making it.
I can’t seem to do the things no matter how much effort I put into it. Not to say this is always true, but I try and fail A LOT it seems.
Or I just lose interest.
So yeah, that is my wound. I am afraid to not have resources and so I stay working. I’ve learned to work with this wound by accepting that I am meant to be working where I work. It is not creatively stimulating 24/7 but I am good at it; it has also given me the resources to be the provider and to live a life that is good. I’m also able to give to others freely. That is all I can ask for.
On the upside, I have found that learning astrology has been really good for me. This time though, I’m not trying to be an astrologer or be anything to anyone anymore…like that time I was trying to be a healer. Looking back I feel silly about it now tbh but for one reason or another, IT HAD to be expressed. That was the quality of that time period, where everyone and their mom wanted to be a healer including myself.
To be fair and not be so harsh on myself, my friend did pass away in Oct 2019.
Then 2020 came along and said ‘nope’! Being of service to others is not for me, not this year.
Then 2021 came and my cat had to be put to sleep.
I’m just learning for myself for once. And there is A LOT to learn and my Aquarius ascendant really likes it.
As a matter of fact, I’m learning so much by practice – interpreting people’s chart aspects on Reddit. So many people have questions and post their charts daily…
it’s almost as if getting suspended on Twitter led me to this, a blessing in disguise.
Anyways here is an old, rough drawing of a centaur, which I must’ve drawn when I had green hair. I’ve drawn centaurs a few times because me = Sagittarius.
Warning: this is going to be a brainy, head spinning post. Mostly a ramble about what I’ve been learning in astrology. As some of you know, I’ve been on the astro tip lately like studying it for real. It’s all I’ve been talking and thinking about. I only talk about it here though because I still feel like a total n00b.
I’ve come to the conclusion that I’ll probably be a total n00b witch forever…there’s always something else to learn, you know?
Anyways, I’ve reached a point where things started to get really confusing and complex.
For example, when I look at my chart using the Placidus method – my sun is in the 10th house – the house of profession or your work.
But then I also looked at my birth chart through the Whole Signs method – my sun is in the 11th house – the house of friends, community.
I’m not going to say which method is more accurate because truthfully, there are more than just these two methods of interpreting a birth chart. I’ve observed so far that these two methods seem to be the most well known though.
And they’re very close; they’re just off by one house.
I guess you have to compare charts and see which one resonates with you more. Because at first, I was 100% sure that Placidus was more accurate. But then months later I revisited my Whole Signs chart again and now I’m not so sure.
Maybe they can just be blended together somehow? I don’t know…being a Libra moon, I can never decide and just pick something. I need balance, damn it!!
Oh yeah, I even looked at my Sidereal Astrology and that was completely different as well.
It’s all so overwhelming for my tiny human consciousness but I also feel more expansive knowing that I am beyond my human limitations. Thank you, Lord Jupiter!
Just remain curious and fluid about what you’re learning and hopefully after some time it won’t feel as overwhelming. This is how I felt about learning Tarot – it was TOO MUCH to learn at first. But 9 years into it I feel I’ve kind of reached a ceiling. I guess that’s why astrology is what I’m studying now.
Also, you know yourself better than anyone else, so it’s up to you to see what lands and what doesn’t. Professional astrologers – even tarot / oracle readers – spend a lot of time really knowing their stuff – interpreting and synthesizing what they see in your chart (or cards). Perhaps ‘synthesizing’ isn’t even the appropriate word but more like accepting that there will be contradictions in your chart or cards and that certain life situations will be in your favor and some will not. It’s a skill that takes years to study because there’s SO MUCH going on in a chart and there’s so much to learn.
I’ve not talked about my affiliate marketing journey on here, as I have yet to make money from it. But I feel like I need to now, just to document all the shit I’ve had to do just to get it to this point.
5 years ago, I bought an adult domain. It had all the right keywords so I bought it. It turned out that that domain had some risky history that came along with it – Google decided that the domain was pure spam so it penalized me, giving me a manual spam label which I had no idea how to fix so I had to work on that just to have it revoked.
It worked and I was so elated. First obstacle down.
At the same time I didn’t really know what I was doing with what I had set up, so I halted everything. I kind of regret it now that everything is saturated but again, I was clueless about the affiliate marketing game even though I had purchased the playbook that would help me do it step by step and secondly: even though I spent money to test it, I was still scared about spending big chunks of money.
I’m still clueless tbh, but not as clueless as I was 5 years ago.
5 years later, I started it up again and now I’m dealing with a site with malware (obstacle 2). I had taken care of it mostly by making sure the site was clean and secure, but still had one more thing to pass.
My traffic source said my site still had malware, so I had to do one more thing (obstacle 3). And thankfully, it worked within the timeframe I was given.
I know none of this isn’t very detailed (I’m sure those in IM – internet marketing – will get it) but the point is:
if we want to achieve our goals – whatever they may be, we’re gonna be faced with other challenges along the way BEFORE we actually reach our goal.
Expect it and keep pushing anyways.
And when we reach our goal, we STILL have to maintain it somehow.
The process and the effort of trying to make it all work together will be tiring, as there are different parts that have to connect for all of it to work. Pace yourself and take a break from it whenever you need to.
You don’t have to rush to make it happen but you have to keep going because you’ve already gone too far and spent money to set it all up.
So that’s where I’m currently at. I’m just typing it out for my sanity.
The title of the post is appropriate because it’s what I wrote down after I completed my third obstacle, for now. Also, I didn’t know what photo to attach so I copied and pasted some Wingdings.
I also purchased my birth chart report – it indicated somewhere in the report that I was courageous and liked to take a few risks in life. Could this be one of them?
I know I probably tend to confuse people – as I’m ALWAYS starting up new Instagrams and trying things – I currently have 5 and that’s just for my personal projects.????
I am that eternal fire, a Sagittarius Sun with my home planet being Jupiter – constantly searching for freedom and expansion. Constantly wanting to express different aspects of myself, as I’ve come to realize that now.
It used to frustrate me to no end as to why I can never finish things or be consistent for once. I hated it and would berate myself.
Have you ever known fire to burn consistently? Of course not.
I am understanding myself more as I get older and accepting myself fully. I’ll be 43 in December.
I hope you are too.
This was me from 5 years ago. Even though I had already stopped painting graffiti, I was still trying to be anonymous on the internet and wasn’t comfortable showing my face.
Just know that it takes YEARS to be comfortable in your own skin. It takes time to love and get to know ourselves. Once we truly know ourselves, no one can say anything to us anymore. No one can really hurt us.
This song – Kapila’s Theme by Om always takes me somewhere else. I only listen to it when I’m driving to work.
Sight to freedom rises descender.
Ground to screen of the seer, the sight, and the seen.
Up to obviate the sentinel and ground prevails.
Fuse to seed at the flight into absalom.
Perhaps not being on Twitter is good for me, I am less distracted and reading and writing more. I really was on there mostly for work but then work & personal kind of started crossing over to each other. I don’t know, I guess that was my fault for allowing it to happen.
For this new moon, I re-commited myself to writing for 20 minutes a day again. I was doing it earlier this year but fell off.
