Music Video: Goodbye Horses by Q Lazzarus

Posted on May 22, 2021November 18, 2023 by savethesavages

I’m posting this video because I want to save it here. I also want to talk about Chiron for some reason. What do the two have in common? Horses – being that Chiron is a centaur in Greek mythology.

More importantly (at least for me) is that in my birth chart, Chiron is in my third house in Taurus.

If the third house represents communication, it means that I have trouble talking, or speaking or saying things outloud. This is true, as I am an introvert to the core. I’m not very talkative.

Chiron represents the Wounded Healer in astrology, meaning everyone has a Chiron in their chart; everyone has a deep wound that they carry with them in this life that they have to work on healing.

I just discovered this recently which makes a whole lot of sense now, a breakthrough actually:

Copied and pasted from Tea & Rosemary’s blog regarding Chiron in Taurus:

The person with Chiron in Taurus will be afraid of losing something, whether it be safety, money, possessions, abundance, or love. The typical Chiron in Taurus will go to any lengths to avoid losing their home, their routine, the people close to them, their favorite possessions, their money, etc. Even if everything seems very permanent in their life, they will always be scared of some unexpected loss.

This resonates with me So.Damn.Much. Without going into too much detail, even though I have worked for other people most of my life I have always dreamt of being financially independent, like free from a job. I wanted to freelance; didn’t last very long. I wanted to tattoo; that didn’t happen. I wanted to have a small business; I’m barely even making it.

I can’t seem to do the things no matter how much effort I put into it. Not to say this is always true, but I try and fail A LOT it seems.

Or I just lose interest.

So yeah, that is my wound. I am afraid to not have resources and so I stay working. I’ve learned to work with this wound by accepting that I am meant to be working where I work. It is not creatively stimulating 24/7 but I am good at it; it has also given me the resources to be the provider and to live a life that is good. I’m also able to give to others freely. That is all I can ask for.

On the upside, I have found that learning astrology has been really good for me. This time though, I’m not trying to be an astrologer or be anything to anyone anymore…like that time I was trying to be a healer. Looking back I feel silly about it now tbh but for one reason or another, IT HAD to be expressed. That was the quality of that time period, where everyone and their mom wanted to be a healer including myself.

To be fair and not be so harsh on myself, my friend did pass away in Oct 2019.

Then 2020 came along and said ‘nope’! Being of service to others is not for me, not this year.

Then 2021 came and my cat had to be put to sleep.

I’m just learning for myself for once. And there is A LOT to learn and my Aquarius ascendant really likes it.

As a matter of fact, I’m learning so much by practice – interpreting people’s chart aspects on Reddit. So many people have questions and post their charts daily…

it’s almost as if getting suspended on Twitter led me to this, a blessing in disguise.

Anyways here is an old, rough drawing of a centaur, which I must’ve drawn when I had green hair. I’ve drawn centaurs a few times because me = Sagittarius.

Drawing: Transcendence

Posted on May 1, 2021August 18, 2021 by savethesavages

I drew this sometime last week but added some stuff last minute:

like the zodiac symbols. I am aware that I have Sagittarius & Scorpio in the wrong order, counterclockwise starting from Aries.

I was curious about when I was actually going to die so I googled ‘death astrology’ and entered my birth date – it gave me 2055. I filled out another one and it gave me 2042. I guess we’ll see, right? Live everyday as if it were your last.

I was reading something on Reddit recently. It was about Witchcraft or Psychosis – something along those lines. The person was asking when is their practice considered witchcraft and when is it considered a mental illness?

I can’t speak about the mental illness part but here’s what I will say about my experience with witchcraft / meditation or spiritual practice:

+ You must always set an intention.

+ Always call upon your highest and best guidance when tapping in – your higher self, your guides, your angels, loved ones, etc.

+ Imagination is a key component to seeing with your third eye. How do you know if you’re connecting with something else?

+ Pay attention to how you actually feel when communicating with this entity. Do you feel scared or anxious? Or calm and peaceful? Are you projecting this being from your unconscious self?

+ Grounding and anchoring yourself to this earth would probably help before traveling; meditating often to clear out any debris or baggage in your mental and emotional bodies before you begin.

+ My favorite protection mineral will always be Black Tourmaline which I like to pair up with Selenite. I also like gridding with Quartz crystals and sitting inside a circle of them.

+ Know yourself inside and out. Your strengths and weaknesses. That way when a negative thought or voice enters your mind, recognize where it’s coming from and banish it.

+ Just like with people, you have to set boundaries with these spirit beings. Which is why you must always set an intention.

+ It’s possible to self-sabotage your practice. If we are creating our reality then we are most certainly thinking of it ALL.THE.TIME. What have you been thinking about lately?

I don’t know why I’m writing about this. There were a couple of times when I was new when I started to question my sanity, but not in a way that I thought I was actually crazy although I had moments of feeling like I was. But I am aware that there are people who actually feel this way 24/7.

Some of us are more ‘open’ to these kinds of energies so you’ll have to figure out what works for you to maintain a healthy spiritual practice. It also could be that your third eye might be overactive.

Something I personally like to do is check the astro weather. I learned recently that when Neptune is making a transit in your natal horoscope – usually with the Moon – the archetypal energies are amplified – dreams, delusion, fantasy. You might even be more open to psychic impressions.

Conclusion: if you find that you can’t control what’s happening to you then it’s best to find a therapist best suited for your needs.

Drawing: Pastel Universe

Posted on April 15, 2021August 18, 2021 by savethesavages

I really like these Zeyar highlighters. The colors are pastel and have less intensity compared to the Sharpie brand. I guess I’m wondering to myself why tf didn’t I get these sooner? Anyways, I love them and have been highlighting and doodling my daily calendar / journal with them.

Today marks 2 months since we decided to put Tabby to sleep. The house feels less empty, but still feels like it’s missing something.

I would love to have a British Shorthair cat, I’ve wanted one forever. But they’re expensive and I’m not sure if I’m ready to shell out that kind of money yet. I also don’t have any experience with kittens and I’ve read that it’s time consuming. Tabby was my first cat ever. I also read up that if I were to get a BSH kitten, I would have to take 2 kittens so they won’t get lonely. Lots to consider there.

My goal is to be debt free in a couple of years, let’s see if I can achieve that…

I suck at posting on social media and can go weeks without posting now. I know I’m not but I feel old, cynical & grumpy. Ancient, if you will. I guess I’m embracing Saturn more and more these days. I’m having a hard time keeping up with the amount of stories people post on Instagram. Sorry if I haven’t been paying attention.

I still believe in magick though.

Getting to Know Saturn

Posted on March 16, 2021August 21, 2022 by savethesavages

The older I get the more I get to know Saturn, the ultimate Time Lord. Also known as Kronos.

In Astrology The Divine Science by Marcia Moore and Mark Douglas, there are the Ages of Man. Saturn being the ‘stage of establishment’ (excerpt edited to be nonbinary):

The Saturnian period lasts from a person’s forty-second to their forty-ninth year and marks the end of their natural growth. By the time a person has completed their first half-century, they have thoroughly determined the type of human being they are going to be…

By now they should have achieved a measure of self-discipline and be of sound and mature judgement. However, if the previous stages have not been fulfilled, they will find themselves verging on depression and decline.

Being a Sagittarius Sun, I’m naturally optimistic. Please don’t mistake my personality for “positive vibes” though – I’ll roll my eyes at you.

But lately, I’ve just been…

– sad
– depressed
– bored
– isolated
– feeling stuck
– feeling way too serious
– more concerned about my health and how to preserve it

Yeah, seriously. I was thinking again to myself ‘fuck, am I having a midlife crisis right now’ because it’s about that time. Mid 40’s. And it could be because I’m having feelings of boredom and stuckness.

VIII of Swords and IX of Swords type of vibe. I pulled those exact cards this week after not pulling cards for a while.

Saturn will discipline you and keep you restricted.

Saturn in Capricorn did this to me last year. It was trying to be my father and tell me I wasn’t shit. That everything I was doing was a waste of time. Like, where do these ancient, paternal/maternal ‘voices’ suddenly come from? Making you doubt yourself? Making you feel inadequate? Making you feel small and not-so-confident? That’s Saturn.

This year, of course Pisces energy amplifies it even more. All of this was going on in my head but it felt real. The output of emotions were real.

You’re not going crazy my dear, it’s all in your chart!

Having Neptune in the mix just makes everything more…nebulous. I feel dreamy but also lost and confused.

I hope this helps if you’re feeling heavy lately and not feeling fully like yourself. Look to the planets transiting your natal chart. It will give you some relief, but you’ll still feel crazy or attract it.

Many people don’t believe in astrology because it’s purely psychological; you can’t see it but you’ll definitely feel it.

The app I use is Time Passages.

p.s. for anyone who is wondering – I am okay, truly. I am pretty good at being able to see beyond myself and see a different perspective.

Edit: wanted to add some additional insights to this post. It’s true that while Saturn isn’t super fun, you can still benefit from Saturnian energy. For example, perhaps maybe you do need discipline – whether you’re trying to eat more healthy or change a habit (which in my case, yes) or you need to be restricted for a bit (which is also a yes for me because I’ve been spending money left & right).

Conclusion: you can still find opportunity or something good in a planet that’s not exactly known for being good-natured.

Cosmic Grief

Posted on February 24, 2021December 11, 2022 by savethesavages

The death of Roxy and now a year and a half later, Tabby – I feel like – has stunted my creativity and side business pursuits. First I lost interest in Crystal Healer LA, next up is Metaphysical Vibes I think. It’s really not their fault at all but I’m feeling and experiencing the after effects. I don’t have the same energy for things; if anything I’ve been staring off into space a lot. I’ve literally been bringing Hematite and Apache Tear with me to work and it’s been helping me ground and stay in the moment (especially when driving).

I want to disappear from the internet and be anonymous, like the old days. Not to talk shit or anything, just to browse freely without someone trying to steal my personal data for marketing/advertising purposes or identity theft.

Somewhat related to this is a movie with Johnny Depp called Transcendence.

I also like the idea of creating anonymously. In that sense, you don’t have to worry about your identity, especially when it comes to people stealing your work. Not having an identity means you’re less likely to get upset about it. On another note, this is why Bitcoin is so appealing because it is decentralized; the banks don’t own it.

I’ve lost my sense of purpose and I don’t feel motivated – all the signs of grief. Right now I’m thinking to myself ‘why tf am I still here?’

I’m just trying my best to live through it and not be so hard on myself for not creating or being productive. I am grieving after all, I just don’t like to admit it.

I was tired from being on the computer at work so I came home and painted this instead of turning the computer on, which is something I want to do more often. Not saying I was off the computer entirely, I was still on my phone. I was just drawing lines and spirals but subconsciously a dimensional zodiac wheel appeared. I like it so far.

Even though I feel sad and empty, I am aware that other people are experiencing worse than me. There is always something to be grateful for, even in our pain and sorrow.

Opinion: How to Reconcile the Differences in Natal Chart Methods

Posted on February 1, 2021August 8, 2021 by savethesavages

Warning: this is going to be a brainy, head spinning post. Mostly a ramble about what I’ve been learning in astrology. As some of you know, I’ve been on the astro tip lately like studying it for real. It’s all I’ve been talking and thinking about. I only talk about it here though because I still feel like a total n00b.

I’ve come to the conclusion that I’ll probably be a total n00b witch forever…there’s always something else to learn, you know?

Anyways, I’ve reached a point where things started to get really confusing and complex.

For example, when I look at my chart using the Placidus method – my sun is in the 10th house – the house of profession or your work.

But then I also looked at my birth chart through the Whole Signs method – my sun is in the 11th house – the house of friends, community.

I’m not going to say which method is more accurate because truthfully, there are more than just these two methods of interpreting a birth chart. I’ve observed so far that these two methods seem to be the most well known though.

And they’re very close; they’re just off by one house.

I guess you have to compare charts and see which one resonates with you more. Because at first, I was 100% sure that Placidus was more accurate. But then months later I revisited my Whole Signs chart again and now I’m not so sure.

Maybe they can just be blended together somehow? I don’t know…being a Libra moon, I can never decide and just pick something. I need balance, damn it!!

Oh yeah, I even looked at my Sidereal Astrology and that was completely different as well.

It’s all so overwhelming for my tiny human consciousness but I also feel more expansive knowing that I am beyond my human limitations. Thank you, Lord Jupiter!

Just remain curious and fluid about what you’re learning and hopefully after some time it won’t feel as overwhelming. This is how I felt about learning Tarot – it was TOO MUCH to learn at first. But 9 years into it I feel I’ve kind of reached a ceiling. I guess that’s why astrology is what I’m studying now.

Also, you know yourself better than anyone else, so it’s up to you to see what lands and what doesn’t. Professional astrologers – even tarot / oracle readers – spend a lot of time really knowing their stuff – interpreting and synthesizing what they see in your chart (or cards). Perhaps ‘synthesizing’ isn’t even the appropriate word but more like accepting that there will be contradictions in your chart or cards and that certain life situations will be in your favor and some will not. It’s a skill that takes years to study because there’s SO MUCH going on in a chart and there’s so much to learn.

Age of Aquarius

Posted on January 28, 2021January 30, 2021 by savethesavages

I saw The Weeknd post this to his IG story so I had to listen to it.

At some point I even searched online as to when the Age of Aquarius actually began, as there was no definitive answer that astrologers could agree on.

But it must’ve started at the beginning of the 20th century, when technology started to advance? How did such groups such as The Fifth Dimension create this song or why was Sun Ra, Earth Wind & Fire, George Clinton and other musicians so ahead of their time? From where did they channel this information?

I’m an Aquarius Rising by the way so my consciousness is currently emotionally detached, wondering about things the collective is going through right now – like the whole meme stock revolution on Reddit.

Makes sense because last year around this time I was all about Humanity First, Universal Basic Income and Andrew Yang.

Anyways, here are the lyrics to this song:

When the moon is in the Seventh House
And Jupiter aligns with Mars
Then peace will guide the planets
And love will steer the stars

This is the dawning of the Age of Aquarius
The Age of Aquarius
Aquarius! Aquarius!

Harmony and understanding
Sympathy and trust abounding
No more falsehoods or derisions
Golden living dreams of visions
Mystic crystal revelation
And the minds true liberation

Aquarius, Aquarius
Lyrics found here

Meme Dump #7

Posted on January 14, 2021August 18, 2021 by savethesavages

The meme says:

Mars doesn’t wanna meet your stupid ass

This might be my favorite meme of all time. I LOL every time because I see myself in it A LOT.

Questions to think about today is: where is Mars in your natal chart? What sign and house is it in? And how does it play out in your life?

For me, Mars is in Leo in the 7th house (Whole Signs). In Placidus, it’s in the 6th house. Still don’t know what that fully means, I only understand the basics of it.

Let’s break it down a little then:

Mars – the planet of assertive (sometimes aggressive) actions & desires

Leo – a fixed fire sign; known to persevere in their actions. The word I’m actually looking for is loyalty.

7th house – the area where relationships and partnerships are concerned.

So then you combine or synthesize the three aspects together to create a statement that makes sense to the person.

For me, I interpret this as someone who is assertive and usually gets what they want when it comes to relationships; this could be in marriage or general partnerships. They also tend to last in the relationship (loyalty) so long as there is passion, fun, creativity, excitement.

*As I write this I can’t help but think of Roxy, my one Leo friend.???? I seriously miss that girl.

Photo: Memories of the Future MMXV

Posted on November 4, 2020August 8, 2021 by savethesavages

Do you ever mourn the person that you once were?

It’s a trip how one’s ego motivates you for a long time. For over 20 years, painting graffiti was all I ever gave a shit about. That and making sure my profession was somewhat creative.

Then my mom died in 2006 and even though I still painted, the desire to paint consistently started to fade away. I’m not going into details, but other people ruined it for me too.

Your consciousness changes over time. You are the same person but different.

I didn’t realize that I would also experience a death of some sorts, but I did. I’ve died over and over.

Copied and pasted from my birth chart report:

Your Sun is in the 10th House of your birth chart meaning that you’re the sort of person who likes to make your mark on the world, in particular through your profession.

The Sun is in Sagittarius

Your Sun is in the Zodiac Sign of Sagittarius indicating that you’re a sunny and optimistic individual, with a love of adventure. In fact adventure plays a key role in your life, whether it be literally traveling around the globe, or metaphorically speaking exploring the world of ideas and philosophy. You’re particularly enthusiastic about anything that expands your world and helps you forget about daily chores.