It’s true (at least for me) – that I’m slowly turning into a narcissistic bitch. It’s been happening ever since I started to cam. And yes, I do get a lot of younger men saying they can’t believe I’m 40 something (46 actually).
Sidenote: I’ve been in the adult entertainment industry since 2010 working behind the scenes as a graphic production artist up until 2023. Holy fucking shit. I’ve definitely earned the title of ‘Professional Pervert’, ha.
Mostly based on my own behavior, I noticed that:
– People just aren’t paying attention as much. For me personally, my attention span dips in and out. The millions of people promoting or sharing something can be taxing and I have other things on my mind these days. Maybe it’s because I’m getting old? Idk. I was also one of those people promoting or sharing something for a hot minute…I got sick of myself.
– One of the things I learned about marketing your business is that if you want people to pay attention, then you have to post A LOT. This is how people will remember you, through repetition. It’s annoying as fuck tbh but it works. Posting a lot in my opinion though, eventually leads to burnout especially if it’s not producing some kind of return (a lead or a sale of your product). I definitely felt this with my crystal shop and that’s why I haven’t posted in some time now. Although I had a couple of loyal folks who always bought crystals from me (if you’re reading this – thank you, I love & appreciate you!), the majority of my crystal sales never came from posting on Instagram anyways.
– Posting a lot won’t necessarily bring the results you want. If anything, the majority of people just want to be entertained by what you post. They don’t always want to buy, which is why I think the shop section of IG is pointless. I’m definitely one of those people who also rejects a lot of ads (most of them are irrelevant anyway)…which is why it’s hard for me to do ads for my own business. Too critical for my own good.
– I haven’t been very successful with my own entrepreneurial endeavors; thanks to the neverending pandemic, I kinda gave up on it. I tried it, but wasn’t built for it. Did the universe spare me from struggling and putting myself in a situation I didn’t really want to be in? Probably. That or being programmed to be an employee for life has taken its toll.
– As usual, I’m bored with everything that I’m doing and I don’t know what’s next for me. A friend did a channeled card reading for me recently and also sensed my eternal state of boredom. Sigh. Anyways, here’s an excerpt from Mystic Medusa‘s Astral DNA Report aka her take on my natal chart that at least gives me some clues as to why I can’t just settle as a “personal brand”:
Neptune House X
Their public image can be mysterious: an alias, nom de plume or a brand conceals the true persona. Tenth House Neptune people are adrift in an ocean of treacherous career currents until they find or create their true vocation. Their c.v. is peppered with surreal episodes, a twilight zone of enigmatic gigs and of course, quite a few off-c.v. escapades. Whatever their official occupation, their title is really “magician” or “rainmaker.”
Enjoy this gif I made. Happy Scorpio season!
Or: you work in the adult entertainment industry and now you’ve been banned or suspended from social media. Most likely for good. This is my current situation, since last year August 2020 on Twitter.
First let me say that I am not a sex worker but I can relate to this as I am an internet marketer who promotes adult entertainment. Both things tend to be intertwined as there wouldn’t be adult entertainment without sex workers. Even if it is just “virtual” I have to at least know wtf I’m talking about in order to market it effectively. I’ve been in this industry for 10 years.
+ Create your own property. Make sure you pick a web hosting company that allows adult XXX themed sites. Once your website is up and running, post good content and SEO the heck out of it. You will start to get organic traffic in no time. Even if you have to describe yourself in ridiculously obvious ways (ex: dark haired, brown skin, heavily tattooed big booty fat girl or whatever), do it anyway because that is exactly how people tend to search.
+ Buy your own traffic. You can build your own audience by doing so.
+ If you really need to get back on social media, maybe it’s best to get a new phone or a new computer. Or both. I know that I can’t get back on because of my devices. They pretty much know who I am. So if I were to get back on, I would have to get a new phone or a new computer. And post normal shit like a regular person and not do anything that might get me banned.
The sad thing is, even if you didn’t do anything wrong – there’s still a good chance you might still get banned. This is the world we live in now.
+ Pay others to promote you or do some kind of barter. I know spending money to promote doesn’t sound so great. Which is why the first two options are the best one, I think.
+ Find other online communities to hang out in. Nobody likes being promoted or advertised to, so it’s best to build relationships with your prospects.
+ Thinking large here than just trying to join another online community but maybe you can collaborate with like-minded individuals to create a whole new platform. I have been thinking for a while now that the adult entertainment industry – whether they’re small or large players – need their own social media platform, a place online where we could hang out and post all the adult content we wanted. Instead of trying to mingle with mainstream entertainment, those who want to actually be there would come and sign up.
I know most of these suggestions don’t sound good because you have to spend money before you can see a return on investment.
Why did I get suspended anyway? I don’t really know but supposedly I violated their terms. Also when you work for a company that deals with adult content and provides adult entertainment services, there’s always competition. So there’s a high chance that someone didn’t like that we were promoting so much and started reporting or flagging us so we would be out of the picture.
Unfortunately, that’s part of the business; when people see you as competition they’ll find a way to eliminate you.
If it can happen to someone like me who is an absolute nobody, then I’m sure sex workers will be next (if it isn’t already happening). I mean, just look at Instagram’s new TOS. And how right-wing conservatives targeted Pornhub.
Expect more of this to happen so don’t get attached to your social media accounts. But also know that adult traffic will not go away. There’s so much you can do with it. But you’ll have to be okay with spending money.
* I didn’t know what photo to add to this post, so here’s a test image of a candy text effect in Photoshop. I use it a lot for my adult graphics. This is the tutorial I followed.
I’ve not talked about my affiliate marketing journey on here, as I have yet to make money from it. But I feel like I need to now, just to document all the shit I’ve had to do just to get it to this point.
5 years ago, I bought an adult domain. It had all the right keywords so I bought it. It turned out that that domain had some risky history that came along with it – Google decided that the domain was pure spam so it penalized me, giving me a manual spam label which I had no idea how to fix so I had to work on that just to have it revoked.
It worked and I was so elated. First obstacle down.
At the same time I didn’t really know what I was doing with what I had set up, so I halted everything. I kind of regret it now that everything is saturated but again, I was clueless about the affiliate marketing game even though I had purchased the playbook that would help me do it step by step and secondly: even though I spent money to test it, I was still scared about spending big chunks of money.
I’m still clueless tbh, but not as clueless as I was 5 years ago.
5 years later, I started it up again and now I’m dealing with a site with malware (obstacle 2). I had taken care of it mostly by making sure the site was clean and secure, but still had one more thing to pass.
My traffic source said my site still had malware, so I had to do one more thing (obstacle 3). And thankfully, it worked within the timeframe I was given.
I know none of this isn’t very detailed (I’m sure those in IM – internet marketing – will get it) but the point is:
if we want to achieve our goals – whatever they may be, we’re gonna be faced with other challenges along the way BEFORE we actually reach our goal.
Expect it and keep pushing anyways.
And when we reach our goal, we STILL have to maintain it somehow.
The process and the effort of trying to make it all work together will be tiring, as there are different parts that have to connect for all of it to work. Pace yourself and take a break from it whenever you need to.
You don’t have to rush to make it happen but you have to keep going because you’ve already gone too far and spent money to set it all up.
So that’s where I’m currently at. I’m just typing it out for my sanity.
The title of the post is appropriate because it’s what I wrote down after I completed my third obstacle, for now. Also, I didn’t know what photo to attach so I copied and pasted some Wingdings.
I also purchased my birth chart report – it indicated somewhere in the report that I was courageous and liked to take a few risks in life. Could this be one of them?
My Only Fans isn’t poppin and here’s why:
Become or do the opposite of the 3 I just mentioned above and I’m 100% sure your Only Fans will be POPPIN. (Don’t know why I picked “poppin” – it seemed the most appropriate word).
My reason for this is that I simply would rather be low key about it. If I start promoting heavy like everyone else then I will for sure attract creeps and rudeass subscribers who will demand shit from me and I really don’t want that.
Most people are lured by money but can’t see that there’s a price to pay for it. I would rather have my peace & privacy (whatever that actually means). I don’t think I can handle the fame, rude comments and lack of privacy. I can see that some of these girls are already suffering from it.
So I’m taking it slow and not forcing myself to do anything I don’t feel comfortable doing.
If you do go on Only Fans, or any of these platforms (there are more now that are springing up btw with better payouts) – be sure that you’re not doing it for the money. Otherwise you’ll be disappointed.
Do it because you like making content and that it’s a creative outlet for you.
Based on my observations so far, the ones who are making bank from Only Fans have a huge following on Twitter, Instagram or YouTube. And they’re young and attractive. And they’re showing nudes.
I’ve only found someone on Only Fans close to my age; she’s a few years older than me and is successful and that would be Sinnamon Love and Tera Patrick. The only difference is that they’re retired porn stars with huge followings and I’m just a nobody.
To be continued…
Here’s a trippy animated gif that I made – I drew the triangles in Photoshop with my Wacom tablet, animated them and added some light in the middle. I wish I could remember how I actually did it though.
+ I love my job. For someone who is a weirdo and an introvert anyway, it’s actually a good fit for me.
+ I get to create animated gifs (my favorite).
+ I get to be on the internet all day.
+ I get to learn new things in the world of internet marketing, as it’s constantly changing.
+ I’ve gotten better at writing.
I wonder, would my bio dad be proud or ashamed? I have a memory of him drawing naked ladies when I was little.
– There’s a high risk of your social media accounts getting suspended. This is what happened to me on Twitter recently. Like if you use your own phone number for work AND personal, then you will risk your phone number being blacklisted. I’ve already appealed to get my Twitter accounts back so we’ll see.
– You can’t really talk about it with anyone unless they’re in the industry themselves or they’re cool AF & open minded.
– Since I create graphics, trying to get another job is pointless as you can’t show any of your work. You would have to make up some dummy, “safe for work” designs just for your portfolio which in my experience, has been a total waste of time.
– The marketing gets repetitive; meaning, there’s only so much sexy shit you can say.
– Your marketing comes off as spammy.
– Spammers and scammers are then attracted to you.
– It’s really competitive and if you’re successful, other people will just copy exactly what you’re doing and basically steal your shit.
Remember: high risk = high rewards. No matter how much the big social media companies try to suppress adult entertainment, people are always looking for it.
I made it in Photoshop with 4 frames. So with each frame, you tweak the lips and the chin just a little to simulate movement. Maybe I will write a tutorial on this.
Reflecting back on it now, setting up the crystal shop was easy; selling something that is tangible and beautiful is quite easy.
Marketing & selling a service on the other hand, is a bit more challenging; people can’t see it, it’s not tangible like a crystal or a stone. But it’s still doable.
I trust myself, I trust that I can make this work.
Everything takes times to grow, the hardest part is being patient especially when you’re planting a seed. Seeds grow in the dark, you can’t see what’s happening but you must tend to it, you must believe that it will grow.
This is what I’m doing right now with my latest project, Crystal Healer LA; just experimenting with it and seeing where it goes. I expect it to be another source of income, and I expect to receive awesome clients from it. I expect that I am going to be in service to others in a way that makes me happy.
I definitely did not foresee that I would take the path of the healer. But really, I’m just following my inner guidance and it feels right.
My mindset is definitely different from last year, I was more driven & motivated. This time I’m more about just learning, experimenting and enjoying the experience.
I usually create content for every blog post, but I don’t know what to post this time around. I was digging through my internet files and stumbled on this surreal, occult work of art by Felix Labisse.
I noticed recently that I’m not really into super feminine pages on Instagram – pages that look soft, pretty and overtly feminine. Super curated and absolutely perfect. They’re great, just not for me.
Look, I’m a woman and I’m definitely soft. And I’m also straight. But I’m not super feminine and girly at all, but I really like hot pink and pretty things. Even the word ‘tomboy’ is not a fit to describe me, as looking at the definition of a tomboy – I don’t even like nor participate in sports. Who the fuck came up with these definitions anyway?
So what’s this really about then? I guess what I’m trying to say is that I’m not a super feminine person; I don’t follow all the witches who worship goddesses as well as the moon. It’s sort of becoming a cliché, don’t you think? Even witchcraft is becoming a look and everyone is doing the same exact thing…
I’m down for all that stuff just not too much of it, you know?
Speaking of doing the same exact things, I’ve been following a marketing guy on Instagram who is abrasive and hard to like, but he is interesting af to me because he’s one of the very few marketing people out there who dare to be different, saying some real shit; and trust me when I say that I’ve come across a few marketing people already and have subscribed to their emails & bought their e-books. A lot of the stuff they teach is mostly the same bullshit, just packaged different.
I basically saw an ad of his – Ryan Orrico – and started following him. And trust me, I’m very hard to convince, I reject a lot of ads on IG; a lot of them are pretty bland and cookie cutter. As a matter of fact, Ryan “inspired” me (I put this in quotes because I know to him, the word ‘inspiration’ is a loaded term and he talks in depth about this in his emails) to start doing these random talking videos on my crystal shop’s Instagram page – where I talk unedited about whatever it is I want to talk about. This is actually working for me. How is it working? Let’s just say that by looking at my analytics, the talking videos are what people watch the most.
Now am I getting more sales? Not necessarily but really the whole point of these is to put yourself out there, imperfect & unedited…especially when you feel anxious and nervous about doing it, do it anyway. Because the truth is, you will never get it done if you are expecting perfection – literally spending hours editing the fuck out of a video to make it perfect or making sure your face is as beautiful and as flawless as it can be. Fuck that. This is what got me fired up to start doing these videos. Ryan literally destroys yoga people on Instagram who have these ultra cliché photos of themselves doing yoga in the jungle and basically making the rest of us feel like shit because we can’t live up to that.
I feel like the perfection part is what’s been keeping me from actually doing YouTube videos – I’ve only been talking about it. Now that I’m practicing doing these random talking videos on my IG page with a small amount of followers, I can feel more confident in doing it for a larger audience down the road.
So Ryan aka Yoga Sex Rock God if you happen to see this – thank YOU!
Anyways, what I’m trying to say about marketing and why I follow this guy is this: you have to stand out somehow. Marketing is all about getting noticed, it is NOT the same as advertising. Advertising just gives the information needed to make a purchase. It took me a while to understand this. Most people see marketing & advertising as one and the same because they can be used in that way.
Marketing is getting people to react to you or whatever it is you’re offering, whether it’s perceived as a good or a bad reaction. The fact that they even reacted means that it’s working, right? They gave you their attention. It’s works the same exact way when someone hates you – they hate you but they CAN’T STOP THINKING ABOUT YOU. They check your Instagram page daily, they constantly need to see what you’re up to.
This is what I’m learning right now from Ryan. New ideas and concepts cannot be created if we don’t challenge the status quo. The greatest minds of history were not liked at first, they were hated because their thoughts and ideas were different.
By the way, The Devil tarot card appeared this week yet again. I now recognize him as the antagonist, the angel who challenges God.
I get a lot of people following/unfollowing me daily on my crystal shop’s Instagram page. The number of followers hasn’t really grown that much. But that’s alright because I still get sales.
At first, I did get hung up about it. Like why do people play the stupid ‘follow to unfollow’ game? It really annoyed the fuck outta me.
Anyways, I realized after a year that it didn’t actually matter…I still made sales.
Moral of the story? Just because you have more Instagram followers doesn’t necessarily mean you get more sales.
I’m writing this because maybe some of you are feeling discouraged or feel like you’re not gaining any traction on selling or putting yourself or your brand out there. It’s crowded, everyone’s doing the same damn thing, people steal content, I have to show my face when I don’t really want to, blah blah blah…
It’s definitely going to feel that way sometimes, especially when you’re just starting out.
But with consistency, patience and most importantly – using your own unique voice & perspective – you WILL sell and you WILL attract the right people. And all your hangups about other people doing the same thing will melt away.
Not as easy as it sounds, but if you intend for things to be a certain way – trust that it can happen.
And as cliché as it already sounds – you really HAVE to believe in yourself. You have to be your own fucking number 1 fan. Your negative self-talk will only hold you back.
You also have to stop looking at what other people are doing. I swear, as soon as I stopped doing this – my creativity came back; my writing and my art sounded like me again.
I’m a life coach now by the way. Kidding!?
I’m writing this to encourage you and myself. I have more confidence now that I’ve had the business up and running for a little over a year. So while I have some nuggets of wisdom to share, I’m also aware that I still have a long way to go.
Either way, I’m not worried about it. I intend to have fun and go at my pace.
I see a lot of people start their shop pages on Instagram but don’t really last longer than a month. Why? Because I think they run out of steam. They tend to post a lot hoping people will notice them and start buying right away, but then they burn out just as quickly as they started.
Consistency and repetition is key. But also, pace yourself so you don’t crash and burn. Self-care is just as important.
One of my mentors was telling me you should post 3 times a day on Instagram. I followed that at first, but got tired. So now I only post once or twice a day, depending on how I feel.
What most people don’t think about is that while even starting a small business can be a lot of fun, it’s also A LOT of work. You are the owner, marketer, manager, accountant and more…all rolled into one. You can easily go through a roller coaster of emotions too – from being happy and excited because you made some sales, to being scared and anxious because you spent a lot of money to make those sales, then happy and excited all over again because you paid down some of your debt. Yay!
That is the reality of a lot of small businesses & entrepreneurs – spending money to make money.
Would I do it all over again? Probably.
The secret is to only sell what you love, what you yourself would buy. I guess in some ways this is difficult because you’ll be tempted to keep a lot of the stuff you’re supposed to sell!
The other secret is to branch out and learn other skills so you can stand out from everybody else who sells the same thing as you.
Here’s a personal example: I don’t consider myself to be a seller or come anything close to being a salesperson; I am so anti-hustle. Not into it at all. But on the contrary, I AM selling, consistently.
How am I doing it? I honestly couldn’t tell you.
Either people really love the crystals that they see on my Instagram, or they like me as a person. They could be basing it off the reviews I have on Etsy.
It could be all of the above or none of the above.
Behind this human avatar, I could really be a fucking magical being – creating whatever I want to happen next. That sounds feasible to me.
Whatever it is, the effort is paying off – that doesn’t mean I’m done. I have to continue, because I love that I created this; and I love that people love it too.
And I also know that you can do this for yourself too.?
p.s. hope you enjoy the photo I posted with this post! My mom’s church friends already think I worship the devil anyway.???♀️?
To will, to dare, to dream, to want…
but don’t expect it to arrive exactly in the way you imagined.
Wanting without expecting it to be a certain way certainly feels like a balancing act; want it too much and you become obsessed, want it too little but then nothing happens. That’s why they call spirituality a practice – something you have to constantly work on. The non-attachment part can get tricky.
There’s lots of things I should be doing for Metaphysical Vibes to achieve certain results but haven’t quite gotten around to doing, like YouTube videos. I’m also supposed to be blogging a lot more too; actually I’m supposed to be creating LOTS of content on a consistent basis. Not sure if I can do it all though. Some days I feel like I should be posting more on Instagram or do an auction or a sale like everybody else yadda yadda…
But it all seems exhausting. Most of the time I just end up doing nothing and I’m totally fine with that.
But I guess I am doing something, I’m typing my thoughts here and practicing my writing. And I’ve been playing with the image above.
So I have resolved to not compete with anyone and just go at my own pace, that’s what I’m doing.
Reminding myself that I’m not everybody else so why do I feel the need to do what everyone else is doing?
Success is different for everybody, and I feel that I am already successful. Now I just have to step it up and see how far I can go with the resources I have.
I feel pretty grateful that I’ve gotten this far and I know it can only get better from here.
