bookmark_borderMusic Video: Goodbye Horses by Q Lazzarus

I’m posting this video because I want to save it here. I also want to talk about Chiron for some reason. What do the two have in common? Horses – being that Chiron is a centaur in Greek mythology.

More importantly (at least for me) is that in my birth chart, Chiron is in my third house in Taurus.

If the third house represents communication, it means that I have trouble talking, or speaking or saying things outloud. This is true, as I am an introvert to the core. I’m not very talkative.

Chiron represents the Wounded Healer in astrology, meaning everyone has a Chiron in their chart; everyone has a deep wound that they carry with them in this life that they have to work on healing.

I just discovered this recently which makes a whole lot of sense now, a breakthrough actually:

Copied and pasted from Tea & Rosemary’s blog regarding Chiron in Taurus:

The person with Chiron in Taurus will be afraid of losing something, whether it be safety, money, possessions, abundance, or love. The typical Chiron in Taurus will go to any lengths to avoid losing their home, their routine, the people close to them, their favorite possessions, their money, etc. Even if everything seems very permanent in their life, they will always be scared of some unexpected loss.

This resonates with me So.Damn.Much. Without going into too much detail, even though I have worked for other people most of my life I have always dreamt of being financially independent, like free from a job. I wanted to freelance; didn’t last very long. I wanted to tattoo; that didn’t happen. I wanted to have a small business; I’m barely even making it.

I can’t seem to do the things no matter how much effort I put into it. Not to say this is always true, but I try and fail A LOT it seems.

Or I just lose interest.

So yeah, that is my wound. I am afraid to not have resources and so I stay working. I’ve learned to work with this wound by accepting that I am meant to be working where I work. It is not creatively stimulating 24/7 but I am good at it; it has also given me the resources to be the provider and to live a life that is good. I’m also able to give to others freely. That is all I can ask for.

On the upside, I have found that learning astrology has been really good for me. This time though, I’m not trying to be an astrologer or be anything to anyone anymore…like that time I was trying to be a healer. Looking back I feel silly about it now tbh but for one reason or another, IT HAD to be expressed. That was the quality of that time period, where everyone and their mom wanted to be a healer including myself.

To be fair and not be so harsh on myself, my friend did pass away in Oct 2019.

Then 2020 came along and said ‘nope’! Being of service to others is not for me, not this year.

Then 2021 came and my cat had to be put to sleep.

I’m just learning for myself for once. And there is A LOT to learn and my Aquarius ascendant really likes it.

As a matter of fact, I’m learning so much by practice – interpreting people’s chart aspects on Reddit. So many people have questions and post their charts daily…

it’s almost as if getting suspended on Twitter led me to this, a blessing in disguise.

Anyways here is an old, rough drawing of a centaur, which I must’ve drawn when I had green hair. I’ve drawn centaurs a few times because me = Sagittarius.

 

bookmark_borderFFFFOUND

One of my favorite sites that had tons of inspiring images of all sorts was ffffound and Tumblr. And weheartit, which surprisingly is still around. I guess I have to look for my login but anyways the point of this post is that I’m probably going to post all the images that I’ve snagged over the years. Right now they’re just sitting in my hard drive with no one to appreciate them so, yeah. Here’s some of them.

I also apologize in advance if only some of these are credited. If you happen to know who the original artist or source is, please let me know.

Happy new moon in Taurus. Are you buying crypto? Taurus is an earth sign ruled by Venus so this is a good time to invest or do some manifesting around your finances.

bookmark_borderDrawing: Transcendence

I drew this sometime last week but added some stuff last minute:

like the zodiac symbols. I am aware that I have Sagittarius & Scorpio in the wrong order, counterclockwise starting from Aries.

I was curious about when I was actually going to die so I googled ‘death astrology’ and entered my birth date – it gave me 2055. I filled out another one and it gave me 2042. I guess we’ll see, right? Live everyday as if it were your last.


I was reading something on Reddit recently. It was about Witchcraft or Psychosis – something along those lines. The person was asking when is their practice considered witchcraft and when is it considered a mental illness?

I can’t speak about the mental illness part but here’s what I will say about my experience with witchcraft / meditation or spiritual practice:

+ You must always set an intention.

+ Always call upon your highest and best guidance when tapping in – your higher self, your guides, your angels, loved ones, etc.

+ Imagination is a key component to seeing with your third eye. How do you know if you’re connecting with something else?

+ Pay attention to how you actually feel when communicating with this entity. Do you feel scared or anxious? Or calm and peaceful? Are you projecting this being from your unconscious self?

+ Grounding and anchoring yourself to this earth would probably help before traveling; meditating often to clear out any debris or baggage in your mental and emotional bodies before you begin.

+ My favorite protection mineral will always be Black Tourmaline which I like to pair up with Selenite. I also like gridding with Quartz crystals and sitting inside a circle of them.

+ Know yourself inside and out. Your strengths and weaknesses. That way when a negative thought or voice enters your mind, recognize where it’s coming from and banish it.

+ Just like with people, you have to set boundaries with these spirit beings. Which is why you must always set an intention.

+ It’s possible to self-sabotage your practice. If we are creating our reality then we are most certainly thinking of it ALL.THE.TIME. What have you been thinking about lately?

I don’t know why I’m writing about this. There were a couple of times when I was new when I started to question my sanity, but not in a way that I thought I was actually crazy although I had moments of feeling like I was. But I am aware that there are people who actually feel this way 24/7.

Some of us are more ‘open’ to these kinds of energies so you’ll have to figure out what works for you to maintain a healthy spiritual practice. It also could be that your third eye might be overactive.

Something I personally like to do is check the astro weather. I learned recently that when Neptune is making a transit in your natal horoscope – usually with the Moon – the archetypal energies are amplified – dreams, delusion, fantasy. You might even be more open to psychic impressions.

Conclusion: if you find that you can’t control what’s happening to you then it’s best to find a therapist best suited for your needs.

bookmark_borderDrawing: Pastel Universe

I really like these Zeyar highlighters. The colors are pastel and have less intensity compared to the Sharpie brand. I guess I’m wondering to myself why tf didn’t I get these sooner? Anyways, I love them and have been highlighting and doodling my daily calendar / journal with them.

Today marks 2 months since we decided to put Tabby to sleep. The house feels less empty, but still feels like it’s missing something.

I would love to have a British Shorthair cat, I’ve wanted one forever. But they’re expensive and I’m not sure if I’m ready to shell out that kind of money yet. I also don’t have any experience with kittens and I’ve read that it’s time consuming. Tabby was my first cat ever. I also read up that if I were to get a BSH kitten, I would have to take 2 kittens so they won’t get lonely. Lots to consider there.

My goal is to be debt free in a couple of years, let’s see if I can achieve that…

I suck at posting on social media and can go weeks without posting now. I know I’m not but I feel old, cynical & grumpy. Ancient, if you will. I guess I’m embracing Saturn more and more these days. I’m having a hard time keeping up with the amount of stories people post on Instagram. Sorry if I haven’t been paying attention.

I still believe in magick though.

bookmark_borderWhy Do I Have SO MANY Instagrams…

I have been grappling with this question for some time now and I finally have an answer that I’m satisfied with:

I simply have a need to express different aspects of myself.

So there. That is the answer.

There is no point in fighting myself about it.

Or feeling bad that I can’t be consistent with any of them.

Anyway, here is a digital doodle of some pentacle flowers as I’ve got investments, money and visions of a future where we can all thrive on my mind. More than ever since we are now in the Age of Aquarius. The self and the collective are intertwined.

I also wanted to share this: if you’re feeling confused about your life and all your impulses – why you do the things you do, what motivates you, why you constantly contradict yourself, etcetera; I highly suggest looking at your astrological birth chart or getting a natal chart report. Astrology has answered so many questions for me, personally.

Also, if you’re in the giving mood please take a look at this awesome Instagram called Transanta.

bookmark_borderThe Effects of Having a Crystal Shop

If anything, I have learned to open my heart and give with my money.

Ironic given that the whole purpose – at least I thought it was MY purpose – was to make money with the crystal shop. And I definitely have and I’m super thankful.

What I didn’t expect was that I would be giving a lot more.

I’m learning to work with money in a way that I haven’t before. For a long time, I lived in scarcity mode meaning I always hoarded money. I always felt like I never had enough. So I was stingy with it even though I had more than enough.

Lately though, I noticed it just comes back to me naturally whenever I give it.

Ever since Covid hit I’ve been tipping witches online and / or buying their products and I am definitely seeing a benefit of doing that.

Some of these Auras are available at my crystal shop by the way, the Money Drawing Ritual Conjure Oil is from Mētztli aka The Revolutionary Mystic’s shop.

Missing my best friend Roxy every fucking day. Not a day goes by where I don’t think about her. October 20th will be a year since she transitioned. I wonder if she will visit us on Samhain.????

bookmark_borderSanctum Regnum 2020

I really have tried, but I don’t have the energy that other people have to post consistently on social media.

As a mutable fire sign, I notice that I can definitely get it started but to continue it for the long run? Nope.

I am accepting it and not trashing my own abilities to stay relevant. I just don’t care that much either way.

What’s even crazier is that I looked into my Sidereal astrological sign recently and it turns out that…

I’m actually a Scorpio, and I can kinda see that; Scorpios are secretive and mysterious.

Here’s a photo of some candles I purchased recently from Mētztli at Revolutionary Mystic. I especially love the art on each label. Of course as soon as I lit the Solve et Coagula candle, I was immediately guided to revisit Transcendental Magic by Eliphas Levi; a book that normally puts me to sleep due to its arcane language…

oddly enough I couldn’t put the book down, and I understood a lot of it this time around.

Is there a devil? What is the devil? As to the first point, science is silent, philosophy denies it at hazard, religion only answers in the affirmative. As to the second point, religion states that the devil is the fallen angel; occult philosophy accepts and explains this definition.

bookmark_borderJust Figured Out My Purpose

I now know what it is…for now at least. I’ve been sitting on this for about 2 months now, just to make sure it was still true.

I have this job, this resource so that not only can I support me and my family, I can also give back to my spiritual community – whether it’s supporting them through donations, signing up for their classes, or just supporting their small business in general.

For so long it seems I was never satisfied with where I was. I wanted so bad to quit my job and create my own shit – I’m actually still doing that but I’ve learned that it’s a much longer process. It takes time and money and so I must be patient and have perseverance while I continue to build it.

What I realized now after spending all this time ‘doing the work’ is that – I am where I’m supposed to be.

I am where I’m supposed to be.

Let that sink in.

Once I stopped struggling – complaining & fighting myself internally – and accepted where I am, everything fell into place.

I feel at peace with the work I do now, you can even say that I’ve mastered it. I know when I get my paycheck I can pay all my bills and still have enough to support others as well.

I’m currently reading “Existential Kink” by Carolyn Elliott. Though I am already familiar with a lot of the stuff she talks about in her book, I feel like there are some things I’ve missed or wasn’t fully aware of (like the unconscious) and could work on.

A magician must always seek to improve and perfect their craft.

bookmark_borderDrawing – LOL OMG Occult Girl

Colored her over the weekend, still WIP.

Not posting as much & following less people on Instagram in order to draw more. Taking all distractions away (little by little). Doing instead of trying.

Your power lies in the present moment. You can affirm what you want to happen and visualize the outcome.

I’m on my way to manifesting a new reality, whatever that is.

Description: a colored pencil drawing of a naked girl in blue tones. She has the words LOL OMG covering her eyes. There is a pyramid floating behind her head and 5 circles that go from small to large. She has her hands in prayer position and on each side of her is a pentacle (a 5 pointed star enclosed in a circle)  with rays shining out. Inspired by an image of Aleister Crowley where in the photo he was wearing a pyramid shaped hat with the symbol of an eye enclosed within a triangle with rays shining out.