Mildly interesting, but only to me I’m pretty sure. Been seeing lots of repeating numbers, mileage on my vehicle. My car is getting up there.
I want to reference the angel numbers so I’m going to do it for 1333
Category: Spirituality
bookmark_borderDrawing: Magickal Synthwave Witch
I hate how the iPhone 11 Pro Max doesn’t capture true color, I had to modify this in Photoshop to show the pastel quality of these Zeyar highlighters.
Drawn last night, I stayed up til 1:30am drawing and listening to music.
A part of me wishes there was a place where I could just dance. No one bothering me or making small talk. Spirit dancing, moving your body to music, releasing toxins. I recently watched this video of Irene Cara (RIP) and she literally looks like a spirit dancing in human form. Then you listen to the actual lyrics and she’s talking about immortality and being remembered. I swear everything takes on a different meaning when you’re older. Or actually, the message was always there; it was my own understanding that took years to catch up to the message.
I did go to a party in an undisclosed warehouse in DTLA more than 10 years ago and I did just that.
Well since I’m old and don’t know where to go anymore for such things, I just danced in my room in between drawing. That was enough for me.
bookmark_borderDrawing: Transcendence
I drew this sometime last week but added some stuff last minute:
like the zodiac symbols. I am aware that I have Sagittarius & Scorpio in the wrong order, counterclockwise starting from Aries.
I was curious about when I was actually going to die so I googled ‘death astrology’ and entered my birth date – it gave me 2055. I filled out another one and it gave me 2042. I guess we’ll see, right? Live everyday as if it were your last.
I was reading something on Reddit recently. It was about Witchcraft or Psychosis – something along those lines. The person was asking when is their practice considered witchcraft and when is it considered a mental illness?
I can’t speak about the mental illness part but here’s what I will say about my experience with witchcraft / meditation or spiritual practice:
+ You must always set an intention.
+ Always call upon your highest and best guidance when tapping in – your higher self, your guides, your angels, loved ones, etc.
+ Imagination is a key component to seeing with your third eye. How do you know if you’re connecting with something else?
+ Pay attention to how you actually feel when communicating with this entity. Do you feel scared or anxious? Or calm and peaceful? Are you projecting this being from your unconscious self?
+ Grounding and anchoring yourself to this earth would probably help before traveling; meditating often to clear out any debris or baggage in your mental and emotional bodies before you begin.
+ My favorite protection mineral will always be Black Tourmaline which I like to pair up with Selenite. I also like gridding with Quartz crystals and sitting inside a circle of them.
+ Know yourself inside and out. Your strengths and weaknesses. That way when a negative thought or voice enters your mind, recognize where it’s coming from and banish it.
+ Just like with people, you have to set boundaries with these spirit beings. Which is why you must always set an intention.
+ It’s possible to self-sabotage your practice. If we are creating our reality then we are most certainly thinking of it ALL.THE.TIME. What have you been thinking about lately?
I don’t know why I’m writing about this. There were a couple of times when I was new when I started to question my sanity, but not in a way that I thought I was actually crazy although I had moments of feeling like I was. But I am aware that there are people who actually feel this way 24/7.
Some of us are more ‘open’ to these kinds of energies so you’ll have to figure out what works for you to maintain a healthy spiritual practice. It also could be that your third eye might be overactive.
Something I personally like to do is check the astro weather. I learned recently that when Neptune is making a transit in your natal horoscope – usually with the Moon – the archetypal energies are amplified – dreams, delusion, fantasy. You might even be more open to psychic impressions.
Conclusion: if you find that you can’t control what’s happening to you then it’s best to find a therapist best suited for your needs.
bookmark_borderThe Spiritual Community Has Me Feeling Jaded
These last few months has left me feeling jaded about the spiritual community. From spiritual bypassing to fake Instagram gurus, to false spiritual “influencers”…
I know it’s nothing really new but on top of a pandemic / economic depression / apocalyptic times maybe that’s why I’m not as vested in Crystal Healer LA as much as I was before. My relationship with Reiki has also changed as I’m learning to decolonize my spiritual practice, which is complex. I still love crystals though and believe 100% in their healing abilities, I just don’t know where I belong in all of this.
Perhaps that’s why I respect and admire the Devil so much; even though he/she/it is a made up figure it still represents a powerful, opposing force. Last night as I was going to sleep, I pulled the Devil tarot (the third card of 3) from the Labyrinthos app.
At least the Devil, who is a symbol of our shadow / aspect of our true and unconscious desires – won’t lie to us. Of course we will spend half our lives denying it, but if you look at your life thus far – your unconscious was really running the show all along. Please read Existential Kink by Carolyn Elliott.
Here’s an old drawing that I did, scanned and altered in Photoshop. At the time of this drawing, I wanted to be a tattoo artist so I was heavily influenced by Sailor Jerry’s flash. You can see that i borrowed the demon head from him.
Hail Satan.
bookmark_borderMood: Altered States
This song – Kapila’s Theme by Om always takes me somewhere else. I only listen to it when I’m driving to work.
Sight to freedom rises descender.
Ground to screen of the seer, the sight, and the seen.
Up to obviate the sentinel and ground prevails.
Fuse to seed at the flight into absalom.
Perhaps not being on Twitter is good for me, I am less distracted and reading and writing more. I really was on there mostly for work but then work & personal kind of started crossing over to each other. I don’t know, I guess that was my fault for allowing it to happen.
For this new moon, I re-commited myself to writing for 20 minutes a day again. I was doing it earlier this year but fell off.
Current books I’m reading:
Reiki and Japan: A Cultural View of Western and Japanese Reiki
Let me just say that this book has clarified and confirmed a lot of things for me. If you’ve been reading my weird & confusing experiences with Reiki, then you’ll understand.
Way of the Ancient Healer: Sacred Teachings from the Philippine Ancestral Traditions
This one is also really good, as the author blends history, culture, spirituality, shamanism, metaphysics, psychology.
bookmark_borderSanctum Regnum 2020
I really have tried, but I don’t have the energy that other people have to post consistently on social media.
As a mutable fire sign, I notice that I can definitely get it started but to continue it for the long run? Nope.
I am accepting it and not trashing my own abilities to stay relevant. I just don’t care that much either way.
What’s even crazier is that I looked into my Sidereal astrological sign recently and it turns out that…
I’m actually a Scorpio, and I can kinda see that; Scorpios are secretive and mysterious.
Here’s a photo of some candles I purchased recently from Mētztli at Revolutionary Mystic. I especially love the art on each label. Of course as soon as I lit the Solve et Coagula candle, I was immediately guided to revisit Transcendental Magic by Eliphas Levi; a book that normally puts me to sleep due to its arcane language…
oddly enough I couldn’t put the book down, and I understood a lot of it this time around.
Is there a devil? What is the devil? As to the first point, science is silent, philosophy denies it at hazard, religion only answers in the affirmative. As to the second point, religion states that the devil is the fallen angel; occult philosophy accepts and explains this definition.
bookmark_borderCurrent Events from a Spiritual Perspective
I am writing this down as quick as I can because it feels like I’ve received a download from above that’s worth sharing.
Martyr, sacrifice, reincarnation, karma, ancestors, trauma, healing, justice, integration, shadow work are the words I keep receiving in my mind.
Are things worse off than they were before?
Even though it seems fucking horrible (and it always seems fucking horrible), I’m going to say NO.
Black, indigenous, people of color are rising up continuously – becoming more empowered each time one of their own dies from injustices such as racism or police brutality. Though it is exhausting as fuck to have to go through this over and over again, it empowers them and many others to fight back, using the technology that we now have.
Taking pictures and documenting the whole experience with video, boosting it on social media.
The internet is a gift.
I don’t know how to articulate this exactly, but those who have died from police brutality, racism, abuse, etc…
had a mission to do exactly that.
It may seem extreme and violent, even unfair – because it is – but again: violence, death and rebirth is our heritage.
The big bang was a violent, cosmic event. So was the birth and destruction of stars and planets. Even human and mammal birth is violent – it’s literally stretching the opening to its limits so one could be born. Then you’re covered in blood and plasma.
That also doesn’t mean we just sit back and allow fate to happen – as we have free will – to fight back and follow what our inner guide/daemon/spirit/higher consciousness calls us to do.
As above, so below.
So that the masses can continue to wake up, including their own people; so that we can continue to heal, becoming more aware and conscious with each iteration, each death.
It was not all for nothing.
Nobody dies for nothing.
Understand that we are all witnesses to this, witnesses to the United States of America facing its own shadow…over and over again.
On a microcosm level – I understand to a point now, why I’m here in California in the US. It is my home, it’s where I belong.
Even though I was born in the Philippines, I have never felt at home there. I feel at home here.
Why? Because I am American, just as much as I am Filipino. My mom brought me here in 1984. I wouldn’t have met the friends I love so much if I wasn’t here. I wouldn’t have met the person I married if I wasn’t here.
I would be living a life in the Philippines probably, but not as the same exact person that I am now. Probably living a whole different existence, probably unaware and just living a regular life.
There’s nothing wrong with any of that. But that is not what my soul wanted for me, obviously.
Believe it or not, I am grateful to be here right now – amidst the violence and chaos. I feel connected to all people, perhaps the internet is making that possible. I am witnessing the light and dark forces at work.
I love and hate the United States of America.
I feel the sadness, anger, hate, frustration, grief while simultaneously feeling peace, love, gratitude and an expanded awareness of it all.
We are one existing separately, living that paradoxical life for all eternity.
bookmark_borderJust Figured Out My Purpose
I now know what it is…for now at least. I’ve been sitting on this for about 2 months now, just to make sure it was still true.
I have this job, this resource so that not only can I support me and my family, I can also give back to my spiritual community – whether it’s supporting them through donations, signing up for their classes, or just supporting their small business in general.
For so long it seems I was never satisfied with where I was. I wanted so bad to quit my job and create my own shit – I’m actually still doing that but I’ve learned that it’s a much longer process. It takes time and money and so I must be patient and have perseverance while I continue to build it.
What I realized now after spending all this time ‘doing the work’ is that – I am where I’m supposed to be.
I am where I’m supposed to be.
Let that sink in.
Once I stopped struggling – complaining & fighting myself internally – and accepted where I am, everything fell into place.
I feel at peace with the work I do now, you can even say that I’ve mastered it. I know when I get my paycheck I can pay all my bills and still have enough to support others as well.
I’m currently reading “Existential Kink” by Carolyn Elliott. Though I am already familiar with a lot of the stuff she talks about in her book, I feel like there are some things I’ve missed or wasn’t fully aware of (like the unconscious) and could work on.
A magician must always seek to improve and perfect their craft.
bookmark_borderHappy Face Rainbow Pyramid
Animated GIF by me. It took a lot of frames to move the rainbow.
bookmark_borderWe Are Contradictory Beings
And over time, we are allowed to change our opinions about things.
I’m writing this because I know I’ve written about my Reiki experience a few times, said I wasn’t going to use it anymore yet here I am…still using it and sharing it with people who come to me wanting to receive Reiki.
I’ve come to the conclusion that ultimately, you are the only one in control of what’s right for you. I might’ve gotten influenced by a more powerful witch who tried to persuade others that a certain way of healing is the only way, while the rest is corrupt / distorted. That was a couple of years ago; perhaps she has changed her beliefs on it as well.
And while I may have believed it at the time, I do not believe it now.
Everything is a learning experience; I feel that I exposed myself to those things because my soul wanted to teach me to rely on my own intuition.
Here are the posts I was referring to that may seem contradictory now. But my experiences at the time were real and so I had to write about it:
My Faith in Reiki Has Been Restored
If you are reading this – in no way, shape or form am I telling you to NOT get attuned to Reiki – you have to make that decision for yourself. I am just documenting my experience and sharing on this blog of mine.
I will say this again: do not follow the crowd, question everything. I am still on the fence about ascended masters being that I am not familiar with a lot of them, especially the ones on Doreen Virtue’s cards (whom she renounced). Not saying they don’t exist, only to each their own. Trust your own experiences.
Think of the Yin Yang symbol – it consists of 2 parts – one part is dark with a white dot in it, the other is light with a dark spot in it. And while each part seems separate, it is still part of the whole – the circle.