bookmark_borderBROOD MOOD?

Summer, my least favorite season especially this year since the A/C has not been working for 3 weeks now…but at least the traffic is light and there are less people around.

I really wish I had this sweater because I’d probably wear it 24/7.

I switched gears yet again, typical Sagittarius. I’m starting to accept that this is who I am, that I can’t stick to one thing. Been playing around and trying to learn Adobe Premiere Pro and After Effects, but now I feel like I might need a newer computer to handle the more graphic intensive stuff. Anyways, I’m just experimenting and having fun. Check out my YouTube channel for my crystal shop here to see what I’ve been up to.

I’m still thinking about starting up a Patreon but have no idea what to offer – animated gifs, digital art, Photoshop tutorials, meditation videos?

bookmark_borderPsychedelic Butterfly Witch

I really love how this one turned out. Yes, I put an Instagram filter on it to make it even darker and more moodier, but wow go me. I really need to play with After Effects more and still would love to learn Cinema 4D. I learned both in 2004 but never got around to using it. So why don’t I pick it up again? Oh yeah, it’s because I spend too much time on the gram and social media in general instead of creating/learning more. Sigh, so lame…

What have I been up to? I’ve been more quiet, playing/experimenting with both my Instagrams. Sales/acquiring clients is still challenging especially for this introvert but at the same time I’m getting better at talking about my stuff. I am advertising but with very small budgets. But I also honestly believe that all markets are flooded with digital content; it’s getting harder to grab people’s attention online but that’s okay, I’m not super concerned about it. Everything will work itself out.

Thankful that I have a fulltime job so I can learn, play and experiment with my business ideas. I’ve resisted, struggled and questioned as to why I’m still here 5 years later, but now I understand. I entertained the idea of entrepreneurship for some time, but now I know it’s really not for me – I’m just not a hustler. Even though it has been challenging getting clients, I still believe that everything comes easily and effortlessly if I just allow it and to give it time.

Majority of my money has been going to bills (which I’m also thankful for) but I’ve also incurred some debt while experimenting with my business ideas. So I’ve been trying to cut back on purchasing witchy, magickal things and just keeping it basic. In the meantime, I’m back to the self-help thing while I save money. Not really driving too far to make my car last longer, which also saves on gas.

bookmark_borderSome more notes on the business of healing

+ Don’t give people suggestions/advice on how to manage their chronic pain; unless you have it you can’t ever know what they’re going through so it’s best not to say anything. Only those who actually have to live with it know, so be mindful of what you say.

+ As much as I want clients for my crystal healing practice, I’ll keep putting myself out there but will not force myself on anyone.

+ I’ve asked myself a bunch of times already why am I doing this – why do I keep pushing for it, why do I keep pursuing these things. Is it my ego? It sure doesn’t feel like it this time around, it feels like something else…something bigger than myself yet still infused with my artistic abilities. It’s going to take time to build, but stick with it.

+ Reiki is a lot more popular than crystal healing. You might get clients quicker if you offered Reiki instead. Should you follow the crowd? My higher self says: no, don’t follow the masses. You know deep down that the Reiki system has been corrupted.

+ Some people are straight up cheesy. I refuse to be cheesy, even if it means not being what people expect a healing arts practitioner to be.

Obviously I’ve had serious questions about the things I’ve been doing and why I’m doing them. It can be a total mindfuck sometimes. We must continuously examine our own motives for doing things we do.

bookmark_borderNot So Random Thoughts

Today is my 2 year anniversary for Metaphysical Vibes, on Earth Day. I didn’t feel the need to make a big deal out of it; I learned that in these last 2 years, people really only pay attention to you when you’re doing a giveaway or giving something away for free which essentially is the same thing. And that’s totally fine, I have no feelings about it – just an observation.

I guess I am tired and want to sleep for all eternity. Not depressed or suicidal, just tired of living by this world’s standards. It’s not like life has been hard or anything, it’s been quite easy actually. I’ve let go of a lot of stuff and I am clear now, I know because I’m around myself 24/7. I want eternal rest and relaxation, I want to float on a cloud, I want to be on a secluded beach with all my crystals, I want to be a star, a giant ultra bright and colorful gassy star. I don’t know. Just daydreaming, just rambling. I crave to be formless. I suppose those who are formless dream of being in a form, while those of us who are in a bio-container dream of the opposite.

Being consistent is tiring for me. I’ve been trying not to have expectations anymore. But when you put a lot of effort into something, inevitably you will have expectations.

I made this GIF at work today and repurposed it to reflect my mood.

bookmark_borderAll is Divine Energy

I’ve come to the conclusion that all is divine energy – whether you use Reiki, Light Language, Middle Pillar, Quantum Touch or any other type of energy work to heal yourself and others.

I started using Reiki again for self-healing and found myself combining it with the others I just listed. I didn’t even force it, it just wanted to come through that way. I’ve encountered reptilian energy again while meditating with Serpentine, but this time it was benevolent. It was from the earth and I wasn’t fearful; it was alligators, snakes, kundalini energy.

I’m also at this state where I’m no longer paying attention to anyone in particular on IG, especially if they’re not paying attention to me. Whatever that was, a one sided energy exchange – has worn off. Admiration and adoration of others that you look up to is nice, but I noticed that I was hanging onto every word a few people were saying and believing it to be the absolute truth. It might be true for them, but not for me. So I pretty much had to snap out of it and unhook myself from people.

Just know that your thoughts and feelings about something or someone can change at any moment and that’s okay.

I’ve decided to stay in my lane and do whatever it is I’m good at. I’m still really trying to learn PHP, MySQL but mostly Javascript because I still suck major ballz. Not putting myself down, just being realistic; numbers with problem solving and equations aren’t my strong points but since I have to work with it a lot at work, I feel as if I really need to fucking learn it already. Wish me luck. As a Sagittarius though, I know that I tend to take on too many things to learn & achieve. I guess we’ll see.

Quick animated digital sketch gif by me, let’s call her Minty.

bookmark_borderIt’s a 50/50 Chance

Believing in something or believing in absolutely nothing.
It’s a 50/50 chance.

Being right or being wrong, it’s a 50/50 chance.

The crystals & stones may or may not have any healing properties at all. It really was just you all along, healing yourself. It’s a 50/50 chance.

Astrologers versus astronomers.
Metaphysicians versus scientists.
Meat eaters versus vegans.
Round Earth vs Flat Earth.
It’s a 50/50 chance.

It’s hard to say who’s right and who’s wrong these days. I feel as if I’ve been oscillating between my own beliefs and then questioning them lately.

Even Flat Earthers can be convincing. So just pick something and stick with it. Believe in all your heart and soul that it’s right and true for YOU at this moment. Don’t worry about everyone else and don’t let anyone shame you for it either.

Of course you are allowed to change your mind.

So many people want to give you advice and tell you what to do. It can be overwhelming and irritating especially when you didn’t fucking ask.

If none of it makes sense anymore, then just pick yourself. Be an expert on you. Take advice from your Self, as it always knows what to do next. Even when you get a tarot reading from somebody else and they tell you what they see from the cards, deep down you already kinda know what’s going on with you, right?

You know who you are, and I know who I am.
I am God, I am Sovereign, I am Free.

bookmark_border➰?➰Epiphany➰?➰

I better write this down before I forget:

Do you know how humans work the internet for their purposes?

You have multiple social media accounts – one for each version of yourself; one for personal, one for work or business or a side project; one to lurk on other people, one for your pet, etc.

But you are still the same person operating those different accounts. Same with a business that has multiple DBAs (Doing Business As)

On a universal scale, it is the same with Source. Source has so many ♾ infinite ♾ versions of Itself, but it is still the same Source.

As above, so below. As within, so without.

Also sidenote: I’m losing interest in working with regular Tarot cards, particularly Rider Waite. I want Tarot cards that have no people in it. Especially since ethnicity & diversity are lacking in a lot of these decks. If anything, I’d rather work with symbols, planets, nature, sacred geometry.

A lot of things are becoming outdated.

The above image is my light language codes.

bookmark_borderMore on that False Light

It’s getting harder to explain what I’ve been thinking about these days, as I’m starting to sound crazier. But at the same time, I don’t care and apparently I’m really fascinated by this stuff. I’m an only child so I’ve never felt lonely or isolated, even when I wasn’t all “spiritual and shit”. I’ve always been able to amuse and entertain myself.

What does loneliness have to do with this? Often times, these subjects tend to be isolating – it’s ‘too out there’ for some; it also triggers people and their beliefs so you end up with fewer amounts of people that you can discuss this with. You’ll probably lose friends too. Oh well, I guess.

For me I know it’s just another upgrade in consciousness and it’s happening a lot faster now.

I wrote about my faith being restored in Reiki recently…but guess what? My [higher] self has led me yet again away from it.

You’re probably wondering, how so?

Well it pretty much boils down to this: anything that requires you to be initiated to a source outside of yourself is false light.

Anything that has a hierarchy is false light. For example: you have to go see a Reiki master to increase your healing abilities in levels. You also have to keep visiting a Reiki healer for multiple treatments: you receive a healing session for pain (emotional or physical), but then it comes back and you have to go again. It starts creating a codependency.

It is the same thing when groups of people start giving their power away to a spiritual guru, believing that only this guru has all the answers to their problems. Again, false light.

Do you see what I’m getting at here? It’s a lot harder to recognize because it masks itself so very well, so well that even you, your friends and family will fall into deception and might even fight with you about it. So don’t beat yourself up over it, we’ve all been fooled.

I would like to thank Danielle (she went under the @theresonantwitch on IG) for this eye-opening truth bomb, she did a 3-hour live talk with another person on IG and it literally blew my mind and probably opened up another chakra or two. She also assisted me with activating my Light Language codes.

You don’t need ascended masters and spirit guides for spiritual guidance. These beings could be posing as other entities – negative ETs, reptilians, dark forces who control the holographic matrix we exist in, how can you be 100% sure who you’re calling upon?

You also don’t have to follow what everyone else is doing. You already are Light. Call upon and begin embodying your higher Self and you’ll start to remember who you are. If our thoughts create our reality, then that’s where you can start.

I’m not knocking Reiki down, I’ve actually benefitted from self Reiki a lot. It also helped me with my business. But I probably won’t be using it anymore.

Here’s another former Reiki master who shares her personal experience with Reiki & the false light.

So why go see a healer then? Definitely go see a healer when your personal needs call for it, as we’re all at different levels of ascension. But also, learn to trust your own inner guidance. From personal experience, a true healer will not enable you to keep coming back to them for healings. If anything, a true healer will empower you to want to heal yourself.

Sidenote: every time I see those oracle cards with Ascended Masters on them, I immediately think false light. I personally have never been able to connect with them.

bookmark_border✨Friday Mood 12/21/18✨

“I know this steak doesn’t exist. I know that when I put it in my mouth, the Matrix is telling my brain that it is juicy and delicious. After nine years, you know what I realize? Ignorance is bliss.” Cypher // The Matrix 1999

How does it feel knowing you’re a slave existing in the matrix? I’ve been practicing all the self-help shit consistently, reprogramming my brain telling myself that I’m ‘free’ from all of this…

and yet today, this is how I feel. Coming in to work everyday going in waves of contentment to dissatisfaction then back again in a continuous, infinite loop.

Rest your mind, unplug for a bit. But will you do it though? Probably not.

My mood is definitely bleak today.

I suppose I should tell someone to “give me credit” for creating this, but I just don’t care. Credit me or not, none of it matters.

Also, reminding myself to grab a Selenite & Rose Quartz for my MIL this weekend, I’m hoping it will help with her Parkinsons.?